It's just life

Three days ago, I came back from the woods from my annual meditation retreat. I spent eight days in silent contemplation, meditation and deep study. My intention for going was quite different this time. Usually, I have been going there to immerse myself in profoundly blissful states of meditation, putting the trials of life on the back burner awaiting my return to reality. That changed a little bit last year, but the process truly came to fruition this year. I have come to understand that these states of consciousness - no matter how blissful - are ultimately unsatisfying if I'm still unable to confront my fears in everyday life. So really, I went there to discover my purpose in life and the world. I like to call it a vision retreat.

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There are two primary human emotions: Love and fear. I talked about this in a previous post. Don Miguel Ruiz talks about this in his book The Mastery of Love. On the path of life, are our actions on the track of love or the track of fear? This very basic concept as brought to my attention through Grant Adams' Radical Freedom series (part of his Complete Attractor series) has made me realize with renewed strength one very sad thing: The majority of human beings, probably in the region of 97%, have fear running their lives.

Yes, most people's lives are controlled by fear. Even in love, fear is the dominant emotion. "Do I dare open my heart risking the hurt of being open and vulnerable?", "Does he/she like the way I look?", "How dare he/she point out my flaws over and over?", "I'm too tired, I'll watch TV.", "I'd rather have a beer with the guys", "No, I'm too busy at work". Etc etc. Almost every action of almost every person is driven by fear. A sign of maturity is recognizing the EXTENT to which fear controls us. As my treasured mentor David Deida writes in 'Dear Lover': "Anything but a life of total love, is a life of fear".

...pause...

Wow, this species is in a bit of a state. Why is everyone so unhappy? Sure, smiling faces abound, but the deep yearning for love, for meaning, for surrendering completely to the flow of LIFE is not being met. Almost nobody meets it. We are wasting our lives, not claiming our birthright, not rising up as the towering forces of life, love and consciousness that we are! We spend vast amounts of money trying to fulfill our longing, achieving nothing but filling the very corners of our heart with trinkets, mere ornaments of fear. We fucking WASTE AWAY like rotting leaves in autumn, wailing in mud of our own making. And we remain shut down, numb to the core, layers of armour clenching our weak and frightened hearts. The dreams are long gone, the yearning near forgotten.

Knowing this, when meeting people, how can you meet them with anything but compassion in your heart? How can you feel *threatened* by them? People are suffering! Don't you see it in their faces?? They need you NOW! Open the flood gates of love in your heart and pour it into the mouths of the people who are shouting insults in your face. They're not talking about you, they're talking about themselves. For the love of god, help them! Melt their fear with the unstoppable force of your love.

Please, I beg you...

I hereby declare it my life's purpose to pull myself well and truly out of this cesspit of fear and lovingly drag as many others as possible with me. Noone in my funeral will speak the words "He didn't love fully. He didn't dare completely."

I here and now retake my bodhisattva vow. I'm not insignificant. I matter. And it's time to take responsibility.

Peace