En~Cee's Titbits

13 fuel smugglers burnt to death in Adamawa----Occupational Hazard.

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway -but the Hershey Man will know!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute.

Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!


1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..If you haven't , add 1758.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.


You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how ma ny times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.


Hershey Man knows!
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

Nigeria records 46.7 per cent drop in new HIV cases
By Chukwuma Muanya and Collins Olayinka

AS the country joins the rest of the world to mark the 2009 World AIDS Day today, the country has recorded a 46.7 per cent drop in Human Immuno-deficiency Virus (HIV)/Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) infection in seven years.

Also, a new data in the 2009 AIDS epidemic update released at the weekend by the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) and the World Health Organisation (WHO), showed that globally, new HIV infections have been reduced by 17 per cent in the past eight years.

The International Labour Organisation (ILO) and International Trade Union Confederation (ITUC) have also called for proactive steps to stem discrimination against workers living with HIV.

The report indicated that since 2001, when the United Nations Declaration of Commitment on HIV/AIDS was signed, the number of new infections in sub-Saharan Africa is approximately 15 per cent lower, which is about 400,000 fewer infections in 2008.

Director-General, National Agency on the Control of AIDS (NACA), Prof. John Idoko, told The Guardian: "Going by the sero-prevalence and the Integrated Biological and Behavioural Surveillance Survey (IBSS), the HIV epidemic is dropping. For example, the prevalence among young people aged between 15 and 24, which reflects new infections has dropped from six per cent in 2001 to 3.2 per cent in 2008."

According to UNAIDS, Nigeria has the third largest number of HIV infections in the world, with roughly four million men, women and children living with HIV and AIDS.

The World AIDS Day, celebrated on December 1, draws together people from around the world to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS and demonstrate international solidarity in the face of the pandemic. The day is one of the most visible opportunities for public and private partners to spread awareness about the status of the pandemic and encourage progress in HIV/AIDS prevention, treatment and care in high-prevalence countries and around the world.

According to 2008 figures released by WHO, there are now 33.4 million people living with HIV. An estimated 2.7 million were newly infected with the virus and two million died of AIDS the same year. Sub-Saharan Africa remains the region most heavily affected by HIV. In 2008, sub-Saharan Africa accounted for 67 per cent of HIV infections worldwide, 68 per cent of new HIV infections among adults and 91 per cent of new HIV infections among children. The region also accounted for 72 per cent of the world's AIDS-related deaths in 2008.

According to the new UNAIDS report, HIV incidence has declined by nearly 25 per cent in East Asia and in South and South East Asia by 10 per cent in the same time period. In Eastern Europe, after a dramatic increase in new infections among injecting drug users, the epidemic has levelled off considerably. However, in some countries, there are signs that HIV incidence is rising again.

Meanwhile, the ILO and the ITUC have called for proactive steps to stem discrimination against workers that are HIV-positive.

In his message yesterday to mark the occasion, the Director- General of ILO, Mr. Juan Somavia, said the slogan: "I am living my rights. Stop AIDS, keep the promise" is a collective responsibility to respond to this call of World AIDS Day 2009.

He noted that out of over 33 million people that are living with HIV/AIDS, more than 90 per cent are adults in their productive and reproductive prime.

According to him: "Keeping the promise means enabling HIV-positive workers to remain on the job. Eliminating HIV/AIDS-related stigma and discrimination in the world of work upholds the dignity of work and of workers. Policies and strategies for prevention and treatment sustain the workforce: They must reach all workers, wherever they work, including in the informal and rural economy. And in sustaining the workforce, we sustain families, communities, societies and economies."

He cautioned that the world must not be carried away by the availability of drugs, saying: "Yet, let us not forget that for every two persons who obtain treatment, there are five new infections and one of every two new infections is among 15 to 24-year old. Too many of these young people are unlikely to realise their potential."

Somavia stressed that the world cannot relent on prevention and that prevention must be multi-dimensional and approached with long-term commitment, creativity and diversity.

He revealed that in June 2010, the International Labour Conference (ILC) will consider adopting a new labour standard in the form of a recommendation on HIV/AIDS and the world of work to reinforce its work.

On its part, the ITUC blamed the massive human suffering caused by the HIV/AIDS pandemic and the failure to date to check and reverse its growth on lack of political will of governments.

It stated that the ITUC remains committed to action to combat HIV/AIDS discrimination in the workplace, to ensure a rights-oriented approach to the interventions, to advocate for strong privacy and confidentiality safeguards and to ensure equitable access to HIV/AIDS treatment.

It also expressed its concerns at the impact of the financial crisis on development and thus on combating HIV-AIDS.

No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us,
WE ARE AWESOME !!!!
OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!!
To Those of Us Born
1930 – 1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate Ghee, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered
with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes,
we had no helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate queen cake made with Fat, white bread, and real butter. We drank TreeTop made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?
Because we were always outside playing....that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's,
no surround-sound or CD's,
no cell phones,
no personal computers,
no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We would get spankings with belts, twigs, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given Bata shoes for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks,scrap and pebbles .

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.What can kids today do besides push buttons..

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

Gentlemen of the Press, it is with a heavy heart and a deep sense of sorrow that I announce the sudden kidnap of Mr President in the early hours of today. Eye-witness accounts reveal that His Excellency was waylaid between the mosque and the villa shortly after performing his early morning prayer. We learnt that his ADC and personal physician were also abducted by the dare-devil gunmen believed to be “next door” criminals and not the ultra-fearsome Niger-Benue Confluence militants opposed to the dredging of the River Niger. Immediately the Zuma Police Command was informed of this criminal act, we swung into action. Our men have been posted to all the nooks and crannies of Zuma to cordon off the getaway routes of the suicide kidnappers. Our men have also been posted to rooftops and treetops, armed with binoculars, telescopes and night goggles with which to locate the kidnappers and their hideouts. So far our efforts have started to yield apples, mangoes and oranges. In the last couple of hours, for instance, we have been able to establish contact with the kidnappers and I am happy to inform you that the President is hale and hearty. However, the kidnappers' demands are too many and outrageous. They want the government to deposit 100,000 megawatts of electricity at the NEPA Headquarters within the next two days. Haba! They also want billions of drums of drinking water to be fetched and deposited in all the hospitals in major towns and cities in the country. In addition to that, they are demanding that the government must dig millions of boreholes in all villages and other rural communities in the federation. They did not stop there. They are also demanding that the First Lady should surrender all the money for her Cancer Project to the Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital where there is an established national centre for cancer research and treatment for proper naira diagnosis and management. They also want 1,000 first-class diagnostic centres and heart institutes built in the country within the next few days before the President can be released. The mother of all demands is the one asking that all corrupt officials in the cabinet be fired with immediate effect, if we want to see the President alive. These Oliver Twists would not just stop asking for more.

Gentlemen of the press, can you see our dilemma now? Yes, the country is rich enough to provide electricity, water, shelter, free health care and free education for all with immediate effect but it cannot afford to fire all corrupt men. Will they not be identified first, arrested, tried and convicted before firing them under Mr. President's rule of law mantra? This is impossible! It is the most wicked and most outrageous demand. I can tell you on authority that the Minister of Injustice and the Anthony General is personally cross with this demand of the godless kidnappers who have kidnapped the most gentle, most God-fearing and most loved leader we have ever had in this most lucky, in fact most luckiest, nation on earth. In fact, if all corrupt men and women were fired to appease the angry gods of the kidnappers, who else would be left to negotiate with them? This is the question we are waiting for them to answer. To us in the Police Force, this is treason through the back door. The kidnappers want to topple a legitimately, democratically elected African government by acts of kidnapping and brigandage, which are prejudicial to good governance and the corporate existence of this God's own, one indivisible country.

For your information, we, the police, are awake and alive to our responsibility of maintaining law and order. No stone will be left unturned in our effort to flush out all kidnappers and would-be abductors of the national will. Let me repeat, for the avoidance of any doubt, that the Niagara Police shall and will not allow kidnappers to dominate our national life and damage our public image as armed robbers, assassins and 419ners have done. No way! We just cannot allow unscrupulous, disgruntled, “unpatriotic saboteurs”(!) to kidnap our destiny before we call them to order.

In view of the above, the Niagara police command has met and decided to take the bull by the horns and strangle it to death through the following steps and action. First, we have sent our men to Israel and Iran to learn how to counter ordinary terror with nuclear terror but, in our own peculiar case, with a human face. Henceforth, policemen are to shoot kidnappers "on sight" and not "at sight" as we used to. Second, we have asked the Accountant-General of the Federation, through the Police Service Commission, to release the sum of $100 billion for us to buy new equipment to combat this new threat to the peace and stability of Zuma Rock Villa. For instance, we need to purchase new surveillance satellites, fighter drones, RPGs (rocket propelled grenades), robots, scud barracks-to-hideouts missiles, and native air-force equipment like AK-47-calibre charms, high grade Otumokpo, et cetera.

I want to assure you all that we are combat ready to face these cowards who kidnap children, women, retired generals, tired permanent secretaries, old local government chairmen, lame leaders and other innocent people for ransom. Let me, at this juncture, further assure all law-abiding citizens that they have nothing to fear. But in case they are kidnapped, they should just remain calm and not struggle with their abductors. The police are always there to rescue you. If you are in doubt, just allow yourself to be kidnapped and see whether we shall rescue you within 24 hours or not. The family of the kidnapped secretary to the state government in Kaduna can attest to that. We are always at your service. We fought house burglars to a standstill and they ran away, only to regroup and rob banks. We fought the Internet robbers hands down and they absconded from cyberspace now to be duping people face-to-face. Now we have fought the kidnappers and chased them to a blind alley only for them to beat a retreat to the inner sanctuary of governance and cause panic in the corridors of power. We shall continue to fight them on land, in the air and even inside water because at the rate things are going on today, we may all wake up tomorrow to discover that the country, itself, has been kidnapped!


Source: TELL, an indepedent Nigerian weekly. (http://www.tellng.com/ContentDisplay.aspx?page_id=4&id=95)