Off Minor

I must begin with the disclaimer that being $134 above water in one of my endless rounds of Vegas-style computer solitaire has got to be some kind of record for me. I am the sort of individual who has severe issues even winning a game of solitaire. And I’ve been playing a lot of solitaire lately.

There’s this song “Hey Eugene” by a group named Pink Martini. I’ve liked it since I first heard it about a year ago. I enjoyed it for how candid and honest the lyrics were. The last time I listened to it though, I was dismayed to learn that I can now sort of understand the song.

I supply pretentious yuppie assholes with that five dollar cup of caffeine required for them to continue being pretentious yuppie assholes for the rest of the day. Of course, not all of the customers are bad. I actually quite enjoy some of them. The guy who brings us cookies for one. Or the sweet elderly lady who places a toonie in the hand of whomever brings her drink out to her. This is always accompanied with a broad smile, a wink and having her tell us that it’s “only for you, not the tip jar!”

I’ve been told that I’m quirky. I would have to agree. I can quote Voltaire, listen to Coltrane, have an affinity for black and white photography, buy books on the principle that I might one day read them, have six calendars in a one-bedroom apartment and drink more coffee than can possible be healthy. Let’s face it – I ooze with quirk.

Imagine my surprise when I met her. I never would’ve expected her to buy me a drink, let alone join me at my table. She was surprised when I told her how old I was. She stayed and talked anyway. For two hours, if memory serves me correctly. Imagine my surprise when she leaned in and kissed me.

I went for a drink with him after he got off work. We shared horror stories from our younger days. There is something extremely comforting in knowing you weren’t alone.

I called her and left a train wreck of a message. So far, I haven’t heard anything back. I suppose that everything looks different in the sobriety of morning light.