My OperaMy Letter to Billy Martin...
Monday, June 20, 2011 5:27:48 PM
Dear Billy
I may not your biggest fan, but I was born to be one. I'd never want you to myself, because there're people who loves you as much as I do. I've never felt something so strong toward anyone before, I've fell in love but this this feeling is different. I just want you to know how much I've been holding my feelings for you.
I remember the first time I saw you, I was very little, like 5 or 6, maybe I didn't even know English back then. It was a summer day and I stayed at home all by myself, I'm still like that right now. When I turned on the Tv, there was not much to see, but then, I was so shocked and hypnotized when I saw you there playing keyboards in the MV "I don't wanna be in love" by Good Charlotte. It's not the best thing I've seen on the Tv, but some how it kinda changed my life. Of course I didn't know who "Billy Martin" was that time, but your image has always stayed in my mind over years, and when I was old enough to know what internet is, I went searching for you, and there you are, my idol. Oh yeah, I also watched MTV 24/7 just to wait for your apearance, and that's also how I figured out my fav music bands and singers, but you're still the best of the best, Billy, you indirectly lead me to music, if it weren't been for you, I might live my whole life not knowing what MTV is. Without music I really don't know what to do in crazy situations, like when I'm in depression, all I can think of is what song to listen to, music is my own private world, I draw when I listen to music, I sleep with my mp3 on, I spend my time looking for new songs on the internet, I even write songs and poetry whenever I think of you, there's a song I made just for you, I wish you could hear it. I even went to guitar classes since then, though the time I had wasn't good at all but I risked it all just to have a chance to be like you.
You're a great guitarist, you play it so well, every string feels so clean, the sound's just so perfect, and you play it so beautiful, I was amazed when I watched the MV "River", you played the guitar beautifully. Not only tallented in music, all your drawings are so cool, I love your clothing line LV27, all of them are just so awesome, I wish I could have at least one shirt of LV27 but there aren't any store in my country, and I may never get to the USA so I guess it's hopeless.
There're just so much I wanna say to you, but sometimes I actually forget about things I wanna say, after thinking about my important stuff or people, I always forget what I said, like there's just too many things I love about them. Well, Billy, before I knew you this much (haha), I used to really hate human, I hate everything about them, I've watched my pets turned into a fiest in a restaurant, and all the hunters killing animals for their own selfish self, they set a whole jungle on fire and thousands of all kinds of animal, even harmless creatures have suffered, all for those idiots to see money pouring into their pockets, I had a horrible childhood staying away from people, I guess that's one of the reasons why everyone hated me so much, all I did was staying away, and they started making up stories for me to be hated more, they never knew anything about me. Sorry I didn't wanna bring this up, but I've never told anyone about these things, I would really wanna share but they'll all think I'm paranoid, just like everyone did years ago. I guess I'm just saying, that you completely erased every fear of mine toward the humanity, "I can't imagine eating my pets" that sentence changed my thoughts, it chnaged everything, I was obsessed with all the killing and crule things people do to nature, but I finally realized that not everyone is like that, I mean, of course they have to eat meat to live right? But some of them just doesn't, ever wanna do that, but they were forced to if they wanna keep living. For example, me, I wanna be a vegetarian, but my doctors say that my health just can't afford that. If I become a vegetarian like you, my life will definitely be in danger, because of my diseases I'm like a living dead, I can't walk in the sun, I can't take sunshines, I can't control myself, I can go crazy any minute, everyday is a fear to face, will I die or not? With an alcoholic fuck up jerk known as "dad" near me everyday, I just might get killed, he tried several times, and my suicide times are lots, who knows when will I die? Billy, if you were there near me, will I be more strong? I feel like something's dying inside, I'm getting weaker day by day, if I ever get a chance to meet you, will I still be alive? Well, I have an advice for you, please don't ever have anything to do with alcohol, it will tear your family apart, like it did to mine and many others. I hope your son will live happily, he deserves the best, and I know he will, because his father is not just some guy, you're Billy Martin, William Dean Billy Martin, yu shined my life, I know your son will be a great person like you. Mrs. Linzi's lucky, I wish I could have that joy.
Well that's enough I guess, though my love won't be this short, but it's a relief after telling stuff I kept my whole life, it's like getting rid of a wound in my heart. I won't send this to you Billy, even when I know I wanna. But if I sent it and you never read it, then what's the difference? You probably have too many fan mails to read other than this. I can't even compete with the comments you have on your profile. I wonder if there's ever a fan loving you more than I do, I guess there is. But I don't just love you, or admire you, I need you, but I guess so does everyone else. Like I said, I don't want you for myself, that's a selfish thing to do, if you love something you gotta send it free. I think about you almost every minute, you may think I'm a total freak with a weird obsession, but, that's what everyone is when they're in love
Goodbye Billy, maybe someday you'll randomly crash into my blog and read this letter If I'm lucky.
Love,
Brielle
P/S: Oh yeah I forgot... Happy Birthday Billy, Best Wishes!
I may not your biggest fan, but I was born to be one. I'd never want you to myself, because there're people who loves you as much as I do. I've never felt something so strong toward anyone before, I've fell in love but this this feeling is different. I just want you to know how much I've been holding my feelings for you.
I remember the first time I saw you, I was very little, like 5 or 6, maybe I didn't even know English back then. It was a summer day and I stayed at home all by myself, I'm still like that right now. When I turned on the Tv, there was not much to see, but then, I was so shocked and hypnotized when I saw you there playing keyboards in the MV "I don't wanna be in love" by Good Charlotte. It's not the best thing I've seen on the Tv, but some how it kinda changed my life. Of course I didn't know who "Billy Martin" was that time, but your image has always stayed in my mind over years, and when I was old enough to know what internet is, I went searching for you, and there you are, my idol. Oh yeah, I also watched MTV 24/7 just to wait for your apearance, and that's also how I figured out my fav music bands and singers, but you're still the best of the best, Billy, you indirectly lead me to music, if it weren't been for you, I might live my whole life not knowing what MTV is. Without music I really don't know what to do in crazy situations, like when I'm in depression, all I can think of is what song to listen to, music is my own private world, I draw when I listen to music, I sleep with my mp3 on, I spend my time looking for new songs on the internet, I even write songs and poetry whenever I think of you, there's a song I made just for you, I wish you could hear it. I even went to guitar classes since then, though the time I had wasn't good at all but I risked it all just to have a chance to be like you.
You're a great guitarist, you play it so well, every string feels so clean, the sound's just so perfect, and you play it so beautiful, I was amazed when I watched the MV "River", you played the guitar beautifully. Not only tallented in music, all your drawings are so cool, I love your clothing line LV27, all of them are just so awesome, I wish I could have at least one shirt of LV27 but there aren't any store in my country, and I may never get to the USA so I guess it's hopeless.
There're just so much I wanna say to you, but sometimes I actually forget about things I wanna say, after thinking about my important stuff or people, I always forget what I said, like there's just too many things I love about them. Well, Billy, before I knew you this much (haha), I used to really hate human, I hate everything about them, I've watched my pets turned into a fiest in a restaurant, and all the hunters killing animals for their own selfish self, they set a whole jungle on fire and thousands of all kinds of animal, even harmless creatures have suffered, all for those idiots to see money pouring into their pockets, I had a horrible childhood staying away from people, I guess that's one of the reasons why everyone hated me so much, all I did was staying away, and they started making up stories for me to be hated more, they never knew anything about me. Sorry I didn't wanna bring this up, but I've never told anyone about these things, I would really wanna share but they'll all think I'm paranoid, just like everyone did years ago. I guess I'm just saying, that you completely erased every fear of mine toward the humanity, "I can't imagine eating my pets" that sentence changed my thoughts, it chnaged everything, I was obsessed with all the killing and crule things people do to nature, but I finally realized that not everyone is like that, I mean, of course they have to eat meat to live right? But some of them just doesn't, ever wanna do that, but they were forced to if they wanna keep living. For example, me, I wanna be a vegetarian, but my doctors say that my health just can't afford that. If I become a vegetarian like you, my life will definitely be in danger, because of my diseases I'm like a living dead, I can't walk in the sun, I can't take sunshines, I can't control myself, I can go crazy any minute, everyday is a fear to face, will I die or not? With an alcoholic fuck up jerk known as "dad" near me everyday, I just might get killed, he tried several times, and my suicide times are lots, who knows when will I die? Billy, if you were there near me, will I be more strong? I feel like something's dying inside, I'm getting weaker day by day, if I ever get a chance to meet you, will I still be alive? Well, I have an advice for you, please don't ever have anything to do with alcohol, it will tear your family apart, like it did to mine and many others. I hope your son will live happily, he deserves the best, and I know he will, because his father is not just some guy, you're Billy Martin, William Dean Billy Martin, yu shined my life, I know your son will be a great person like you. Mrs. Linzi's lucky, I wish I could have that joy.
Well that's enough I guess, though my love won't be this short, but it's a relief after telling stuff I kept my whole life, it's like getting rid of a wound in my heart. I won't send this to you Billy, even when I know I wanna. But if I sent it and you never read it, then what's the difference? You probably have too many fan mails to read other than this. I can't even compete with the comments you have on your profile. I wonder if there's ever a fan loving you more than I do, I guess there is. But I don't just love you, or admire you, I need you, but I guess so does everyone else. Like I said, I don't want you for myself, that's a selfish thing to do, if you love something you gotta send it free. I think about you almost every minute, you may think I'm a total freak with a weird obsession, but, that's what everyone is when they're in love
Goodbye Billy, maybe someday you'll randomly crash into my blog and read this letter
If I'm lucky.Love,
Brielle
P/S: Oh yeah I forgot... Happy Birthday Billy, Best Wishes!
