Random Thoughts of Mine...

Love's Rush(Soliloquy)
To fall asleep wrapped in your arms while stars keep watch like sentinels in the night...the moon is lit and hung in the tree tops with care and a blanket of stars covers the earth as your love covers me whole...into your eyes like windows I can see what lay beyond in the fields of vast emotion dried grasses parched in need of rain to fill them up and make them whole again. Sustaining nourishment as love quenches and fuels the fires within. Your touch is reminiscent of the sun, gentle waves of pleasant distraction warming my skin upon which your fingers brush leaving traces likes ripples on a pond behind to follow one after another after another...your breath a zephyr, feathers tingling my skin sending endless shivers as your words whisper in my ear like the sound of the wind in the eves on a still night...your smile like the sun brightens my day sending rays of happiness that cant be contained like a river rushing over a precipice falling water cascades crashing below a momentous rush like your love swallowing me whole taking me down to depths unknown...a symbol of love a circle bound with no end like the ocean her tides never cease may this love grow stronger not crumble like a mountain sending itself hurling into the sea with the waves that never end and such is the lesson the mere existence of why we must never give up surely as the seasons turn and the rain falls and the sun shines bright warming earth tending it as a child to grow this nourishment for that which share as the air it breathes new life and new hope and sends out love to find its way into another’s arms to have and hold even as the subtraction of miles draws them together in hope like the spring they shall not part but grow and form new life ...such is the hope of love....
Je T'aime
(and to think I wrote this at 2:30 am hehe trying not to fall asleep!)

Ethan:

You were born the day I met you

I saw your face and knew love

No cries heard, tiny lungs struggle for air

If only for a minute I held you, our bond was formed

And I cried



Taken from my arms gods in white coats

Tubes and wires run from you like snakes

A machine to feed you air

As you lay in your acrylic home

And I cried



Placed in my arms fingers touch new skin beneath wires

So strong! So strong you are as you fight for life!

So weak unable to drink of my breasts

My heart breaks for you

And I cry



Wires removed replaced by medications SO much medication

Your heart beats a heavy load yet you fight

You come home to my arms though not for long

Lie by your side, hold you close, and partake of your smell

And I cry



Gone from your home to this industrial place with gods in white coats

Fear rides in waves threatening to consume

Whispered words of encouragement, love and strength in your tiny ear

They take you, you sleep

And I cry



Waiting, long waiting torture black rimmed eyes burn

Awakened snakes again cover your frail body

Monitors beep and keep vigil day and night

Time passes, things are not as they seem

And I cry



Magick created healing begins

You struggle and fight surprising all

By your side I stand like a pillar beaten by waves

Home again to my arms

And I cry



Your smile, your laugh, you bring love

So beautiful, an angel who touches everyone ever met

A ray of sunshine that warms on a cold day

The essence of life on a tumultuous journey

And I cry



You can’t drink, your chest tucks

Your lungs struggle for air through pooled fluid

The dark and rain and wind lash

Once again snakes cover your body invading your mouth

And I cry



Day and night by your side

You hear the songs I sing and the strength in my voice

Your struggle continues your heart grows weary

Your lungs can't find air to breathe

And I cry



Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months

Passing expectation you cling to this tiny thread of life

So strong, so brave, so small...

I try to be strong willing to die if you would live

And I cry



Harsh ringing, bright sun, a guiding rainbow your song plays

Rushing fast, fear coursing through my veins

Like the drugs that have you trapped in your mind

Your body grows weary broken

And I cry



Your chest raw, your body limp, heart beat slowing

My Angel boy in my arms our spirits merge then part

I scream forever inside tears falling on you

You gasp all breath gone angels come to take you home now you can fly...

And I cry



For my baby Ethan Bunny, mommy loves you forever...2-5-02