Stories around the crossroad

while dealing with situation where i haven't recieved my salary for the month of february, u can imagine how hard it is to move on doing things u wanna do without monies.. no matter what u do nowadays, u still got to have some monies with u.. i'm sick n tired waiting for things that suppose to b mine but didn't have it.. damn those who not doing their work accordingly.. damn those who turn their eyes and ears from our (the contract workers) problems.. damn those who wudnt care to pick the phone when we're calling on u to tell our problems.. damn those who 'i dont care its not my problems' person.. damn u! damn u! damn u! u do not deserve to sit on that higher place of yours.. there r others who deserve a place/job better than u.. we're not dat lucky it seem.. we're more like 'anak tiri'.. uncared, untended.. but when they (u know who u r..) needed something from us they use all their 'might' even to crush us at will.. we deserve more than this..

but wat de hell, life must go on.. just keep moving forward.. someday (with effort and luck) we'll get things better than wat we have now..

this month was the end of my contract.. still havent recieved an extension.. no news yet.. although i've been offered other post.. i kinda like my post i hv now but its better to get other jobs than lying around doing nothing but shite.. still at the same company, only different office.. and a quite tought job.. though i hv experience in this.. but i still hoping that i can continue serve my department.. i like it here..

Chaos:devil: is not surely evil:down: , and neither is Law:angel: wholly good:up: . They are primitive divisions, at best - they represent only temperamental preferences in individual men & women..

Have just finished my reading... 'Last Of The Amazon'.. n how amazed i am to read such books.. wheter its fantasy or according to fact/history... i am quite fascinated by these 'greko-roman' stories... it might be fairytale... but wat de hell, like i care...

anyhu, talking little about budget.. de news sez 2008 budget is 'a people's budget'... i do think so,... while abolishing the yearly bonus makes it fair between government contract worker and those permanent staff (makan gaji buta,.. ndatau mana lari,.. ikut suka jak kerja ka nda kerja ka ujung bulan kena bayar gaji juga... mcm sial!!
damn! how i hate to say dat but its de truth beyond truth... like i care!!!

talk about cronies (kroni bilang malayu)... nowadays in de govt sector,.. if u want to get promoted (naik pangkat) u better hv your supporter... de higher de supporter title de easy to get a better jobs.. alah.. ko tuip2 ja pantat tu pantat bos ko tu kompom nda lama kalo ada kekosongan jawatan tu senang ja dapat... jilat2 kasut dia... but wat de hell,... like u care!!!

there is instability (really!!) in our beloved community... but whatever it is,... there was no stable community,... as we can see here in our own beloved country... everything seem harmonious... which become de strong backbone of this young country... but when it comes to politics,... hehe cant say much or else i cud be caught by de ISA.. fair n justise is just wat it seems to be.. but... LIKE I CARE!!!

DAMN! WAT DE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT....

i don't quite know wat to say about the title but i really wanna talk about it... have u been thinking about live alone, away from anybody? i have, and in fact dat to to think it every night make my sleep 'dreadful' ... i dont really know why i kept thinking of this... or maybe its ust my fantasy of running away from problems rather than face it.. how cicken shit i am... or am i?

some might say dat i'm just one crazy guy dat roam aorund this big community.. why am i wanted to be in dis FS if i want to be alone? well, i can't really live by my own... just like i had 10 years ago... dat makes my 'alone' mind... when i'm alone, i got no problems with other people watsoever... de worst thing to have a problem with oter is to have 'it' within your family members... come to think about it, i'm not feel like i'm in the 'family',... when i got home from work or wherever i come from i feel like i'm an outsiders.. indifferent from other.. like i'm just a squatters in da house.. and as de oldest of d siblings i dont hv their respect in me... in fact i feel dat they dont like me at home at all...

come to think about it, I DON'T LIKE MY FAMILY AND I HAVE NO SHAME TO SAY ABOUT IT EITHER!! .. well,.. i'm not dat alone really.. there is a lot people around me; who noticed me.. and i am happy to be with them... if only i can be dat happy with my family.. but its just a dream.. i hope someday when i am settled i wud leave dat 'house' and live by myself... of course with my 'own' family.. if any.

How person react toward others is out of our control, let alone that we 'ourself' also react in way other people expected us to react. each contact to other person is 'random'. there is no standard in 'reactions'. By making it 'standard' makes life preety much predictable..

if only life is predictable, we may/can avoid so many bad things such as all the stealings, killings, blablabla (u named it, if its bad, than its avoidable).. but this might raise a question: "what was life if its become predictable?"