The Dark Furie

I love food. Yeah yeah, you knew that about me. What you probably didn't know is that I've gone out of my way to eat as many different things as possible in the past. If I hear about something I've never tried then I usually want to give it a try, especially if it was once playing with a ball of string... Of course, there are things that even I wont eat...

...and some that I will. Venison is incredibly good for you and tastes beautiful. It can replace beef in most recipes and most who try it prefer it. Give it a try folks.

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I actually found this wonderful tin a couple of years ago and planned to use it as part of a series of Christmas posts yet haven't been able to fit it in these past years. This year however, there is a little bit of a story attached to it which gives it precedence. This reindeer pâté has been on sale for a few years with little incident yet has only this year hit the attention of the moral majority on the internet. In case any of you are unfamiliar with the moral majority, they're the ones who are exceedingly vocal about the way things should be and what everyone else is doing wrong, all the while beating their wives, ignoring their kids and getting as drunk as possible before driving. We've all met a member of the moral majority and know them by their constant bloody whining about how things should be different for everyone but them.

So the moral majority have found out that reindeer pâté is on sale and being advertised as a relative of Rudolph. I'm pretty sure these people would have been fine if it were just regular old venison pâté (which it is but rebranded for this time of year) but the idea of their favourite reindeer X-Man (with a nose like that he has to be a mutant) being spread on crackers was too much for them. "It's a disgrace" they roared much as they do about everything that they have never taken the time to understand such as evolution or maths... The moral majority rose up and started shouting about how wrong it was to have reindeer pâté with cries of "Wont somebody think of the children!" and claims that the way the venison is harvested from deer is cruel. Yeah, because the way other meats are harvested from animals is totally kind and leaves them unharmed and living on a farm upstate...

Now if you're like me you've already guessed the end of this tale. If not, prepare to be enlightened. The extra publicity caused by the moral majority fighting against this "evil, Christmas-killing company" has caused their reindeer pâté to sell out worldwide. Not a single online retailer has any stock left and the company that makes it can't fulfill orders until January.

If you're one of the lucky ones who got some of this stuff in, may I suggest serving it with a little cherry on top to represent a red nose. It adds a lot of atmosphere to the snack. If you're one of those who fought against it, you're on the naughty list now.