Tuesday, 29. December 2009, 23:44:16
mobile technology, news
With
Round 1 Nokia stopped asking nicely and started legal proceedings to get the money that Apple owes them for using some of Nokia's technologies without paying the agreed licence fee.
Round 2 was Apple showing Nokia that if they wanted a fight they'd better not be afraid to get tied up in a long legal battle, a technique they've used before to scare off litigation. And here we are with a press release from Nokia that marks the start of Round 3...
Nokia announced it has today filed a complaint with the United States International Trade Commission (ITC) alleging that Apple infringes Nokia patents in virtually all of its mobile phones, portable music players, and computers.
The seven Nokia patents in this complaint relate to Nokia's pioneering innovations that are now being used by Apple to create key features in its products in the area of user interface, as well as camera, antenna and power management technologies. These patented technologies are important to Nokia's success as they allow better user experience, lower manufacturing costs, smaller size and longer battery life for Nokia products.
"Nokia has been the leading developer of many key technologies in small electronic devices" said Paul Melin, General Manager, Patent Licensing at Nokia. "This action is about protecting the results of such pioneering development. While our litigation in Delaware is about Apple's attempt to free-ride on the back of Nokia investment in wireless standards, the ITC case filed today is about Apple's practice of building its business on Nokia's proprietary innovation."
Round 3, Fight! 
Tuesday, 29. December 2009, 00:59:52
media, cool, test, life
There is a department in most governments in the world that most people don't know about even though it's not hidden, but that makes perfect sense to them when they have it explained to them. This department deals with contingency planning. Whenever a new disease rears it's ugly head they're the ones who coordinate efforts to deal with the worst possible outcome, when plans for a terrorist attack are intercepted they are the ones who come up with the death toll estimates and best survival plans. Of course they don't just sit around waiting for these things to happen. When they don't have anything in particular to deal with they come up with contingency plans for dealing with things like disease outbreaks and other disasters, and keep them up to date with recent technological developments. And when they're not doing that, they come up with fantastic scenarios like
zombie outbreaks and alien invasions and plan for those. Don't you feel more secure knowing your taxes provide this service?
Yes that's right folks, somewhere in each of your governments is a group of people figuring out how a zombie apocalypse would work and how best to fight it. However, they aren't the only ones with zombies on their minds. A group of maths students in Canada have worked with their professor, the strangely named "Robert Smith?" (the question mark is part of the name due to what can only be described as cruel parenting) and come up with a mathematical model of a zombie invasion. The model uses the old fashioned shambling zombies instead of newer running ones, takes it for granted that all zombies pass the infection to their kills and that the incubation period is 24 hours, assumes no new births in the time frame and that nothing in the air is causing further contamination. You know, best case scenario. The result is quite simply terrifying.
A city of 500,000 people would be almost completely wiped out (dead or zombies themselves) in just three days, with very few survivors managing to escape. Sure, there are different plans to deal with the problem but in all but one of the tests three days is the best case scenario. Quarantine is the worst possible thing that can be done, with humankind likely to be wiped out as infection spreads into the quarantine areas. Even if a cure could be found via treatment and the cure returns zombies to their original state (dead or alive) the study believes that this will only be in small numbers, presumably because some of these people have eaten human flesh now. However quick attacks on the zombies should slow down the contamination speed quite a bit, to the point that the entire zombie population could be wiped out within ten days if the eradication is properly coordinated with authorities. Of course this means the death of anyone infected with no hope for a cure, and total destruction of all tangible genetic matter in an incinerator. Imagine the choices you'd have to make in those circumstances. Your nearest and dearest have gotten just a scratch on the ankle from a zombie and they would have to be killed to stop them rising themselves and passing on the infection. Could you do that to them? Could you call someone to do that?
Okay, so we know how to deal with a zombie apocalypse when we get to one, and we know that there are forces within the government whose job it is to come up with a plan to deal with one, but how will we know when one starts? The obvious answer in the movies is to wait until an obviously dead body starts breaking your door down, but that leaves you unprepared with possibly seconds to arm yourself and deal with the reality of what is happening in the world. A better idea would be to join Twitter. Yes, I know what you're thinking, looking for tweets that say "Yearrrgh, they're eating my brains!!! OMG, it's the zombies. This suxxxor!" is a little redundant. Even the most dedicated microblogger isn't going to do a live blog while they're eaten alive by zombies (sadly, I suspect this isn't entirely true and that some people would do just that). Luckily the Boston Police Department keeps it's own Twitter account and, when asked if they'd keep us updated about zombie attacks, they agreed. So watch that account and you'll be amongst the first to know about the dead rising from their graves.
Read more...
Monday, 28. December 2009, 13:43:50
media, life
So, what do you reckon, is this the worst book cover in history or what?
By the way, I think that's meant to be a javelin in his hand but the name of the author suggests something completely different... You wouldn't believe how disturbing it is to go on Google Image Search looking for this book cover when all you can remember is the author's name, so you'd best appreciate this.
Sunday, 27. December 2009, 00:14:51
community
Hitslink - for many it's a tool, the way we see how many people have visited us recently. For some though, it's a dark insight into the minds of our visitors. A terrifying visage of the world around us.
Hmmm, I don't know about you guys but I get the feeling that someone was lonely this Christmas. Hey, do you reckon I should set them up with the person that searched for this?
What's more worrying is that both these searches landed on my page. I swear I've never put up any Christmas Cock or Santa Porn Games.
Saturday, 26. December 2009, 12:09:11
life
Chicken leftovers, a leftover Yorkshire pudding and fresh roast potatoes for lunch today. Chicken sandwich later on... I swear I'm gonna grow feathers by the time I have a different meal. Leftover Christmas pudding after that, but no brandy sauce as the stuff we got was almost pure alcohol and went down the drain as soon as my mouth stopped burning... Luckily I already have nuts so I don't have to worry about that like the feathers.
Saturday, 26. December 2009, 00:02:42
news, cool, media
I know it's Boxing Day (named because traditionally it's the day when gentlemen have had just enough to alcohol over the Christmas period that they start beating their wives) but I still think there's time for us all to join together and sing a Christmas song.
Killing in the name of...
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of!
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
And now you do what they told ya.
Those who died are justified for wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
You justify those that died by wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
Those who died are justified for wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
You justify those that died by wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.
Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of!
And now you do what they taught ya.
And now you do what they taught ya.
And now you do what they taught ya.
And now you do what they taught ya.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control.
And now you do what they taught yaaaaa!!!
Those who died are justified for wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
You justify those that died by wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
Those who died are justified for wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
You justify those that died by wearing the badge - they're the chosen whites.
Come on!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!
MOTHERFUCKER!!!
Read more...
Friday, 25. December 2009, 10:13:56
cool, life
Towards the end of 1983 I hit the birthday that turned me from a five year old child into a six year old man and decided to make some changes. Gone was my Snoopy lunchbox and here to stay was my see through tupperware sandwich box for starters. Also, being a man now, I decided I needed my own income and my own responsibilities so my gran started giving me an entire pound every week in return for doing odd jobs. I was rich! But it came at a cost. Ever seen one of those contraptions over on the right before? If not, that's what lawn mowers looked like before they started adding engines to them, and they were a bitch to use. In fact I think that's where I learned that saying from. Other jobs I did included weeding the flower beds, trimming the hedges (again, hedge trimmers didn't have engines and just looked like a big pair of scissors with wooden broom-style handles), and tending a crop of runner beans growing up the side of her garden shed. It was hard work after school every day but getting that pound on Saturday morning made it worthwhile, and I knew I'd earned every penny of it (a theme which would run through all my best jobs in later life, and not be present in jobs I didn't stay with). I was rich on Saturday mornings, and usually broke by the afternoon.
By the start of 1984 I was starting to get a bit sick and tired of sweets and chocolate and decided to look elsewhere to spend my untold riches. I set up a bank account and started saving 30p per week (an amount which, including interest and occasional £10 birthday cheques from long lost family members I'd never meet, added up to well over a thousand pounds by the time I hit college and found my bank details half buried in a load of Sinclair Spectrum games I sold to a collector), and I started visiting the big newsagent in town looking for comics. Now you must remember that I'd become a man at this point so I wasn't after the Beano or Dandy or any other children's comics. No, I wanted a grown up comic book by this point and sometime during that year I found one.
Marvel and Mattel had joined forces in 1984 to create a line of super hero action figures but Mattel wasn't sure they'd succeed off their own back (especially as the rival comic book toy lines featured Superman who was doing very well in movies back then) so they asked Marvel to have an event to promote the toy line. That event became the Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars crossover limited series. In Secret Wars the Fantastic Four (Mr Fantastic, The Thing and the Human Torch - the fourth member was pregnant at the time and not in the series), Avengers (The Wasp, She-Hulk, Captain Marvel, Thor, Hawkeye, Captain America and Jim Rhodes as Iron Man - because Tony Stark was ill I think), X-Men (Professor X, Storm, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Cyclops, Colossus and Wolverine) along with Magneto (a long time X-Men foe who was chosen for the heroes side in this event) and Spiderman were pitted against some of the biggest villains of the day in a fight to the death by a being of godlike power. Yeah it's cliche these days but back then it was a revolutionary idea and the series went down in history as one of the best comic tales around, and has had some of the longest lasting effects on the comic book universe (the best known being Spiderman getting a new black costume that much later turns out to be an alien symbiote called Venom). It was a great comic book and I read every issue up until the newsagent stopped getting them in around issue five. After hunting for ages I eventually moved onto the new Transformers UK comic book and began a lifelong obsession with giant robots that turn into cars.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, I hadn't told Kim about any of this until a passing comic conversation between David and I brought it up and I filled her in on the details, so for Christmas this year she bought me the hardback book containing all twelve issues of Secret Wars, the pages from the original character's comics where they're taken away from their worlds, an issue of The Mighty Thor which goes into more detail on his part in the wars, an issue of She Hulk which goes into more detail on the creation of two new villains in Secret Wars, an issue of What If... which continues the story of Spidey's black suit and considers what would have happened if it had bonded to him before he could get it off, and finally a much later issue of What If... that looks at how things would be twenty-five years later if the heroes and villains had forsaken their battles, made peace and started making babies on their new homeworld (Wolverine and Storm have the most awesome kid in comic history). I finally got to finish off the story I was forced to stop reading twenty-five years ago when I first learned that even grown-ups like me don't get their way all the time - a realisation that made me start watching cartoons again. I have a tangible reminder of the first thing that I spent money on that really mattered to me (which I keep picking up and stroking the cover of) and a link to some of my happy childhood memories. I really can't imagine how either of us are going to top that next year. Thank you so much, babe.
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