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Relax, I Be A Doctor

Monday, 12. May 2008, 06:26:56

Good morning readers, if you're below the age to give sexual consent in your country then you should stop reading now because today I'm going to be having cyber sex with each and every one of you.

Yeah baby, take it deep. Touch yourself... just there. Oh yeah! I wanna interface my non floppy hard drive with your rear access port. You like that, baby? Tell me you like it. Say my name bitch!

*lights a cigarette*

Unfortunately I know that at least one of my readers is pervy enough to have acted that out, you know who you are and should be ashamed, so I'd like to take the time to explain to that person that I just raped them. Oh, didn't I mention this post is about long distance rape?

Well, it appears that a Tunisian man is being charged with raping a woman without touching her because they had phone sex. While they were "totally into" an erotic conversation he heard her scream and she later reported bleeding. A medical examiner has declared the 20 year old woman is no longer a virgin following the encounter and her family is attempting to press charges for rape.

Call me old fashioned, but I always thought rape meant sex without consent. I'm having trouble seeing how this woman was forced into sex when the entire physical act was her own doing. How is it possible that she didn't consent?

Oh, and don't bother phoning your lawyers to charge me with rape, readers. You were obviously asking for it, coming in here dressed like that, and I faked it anyway so there's no evidence.
p:

The BirdsThe Real Reason We Moved House

Comments

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There's no smilie for this. but something between :confused: and :yikes: or maybe :eek:

By qlue, # 12. May 2008, 06:55:28

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WOW (in a negative way!) Did this happen in Tunis? :eyes: This is completely INSANE! :frown:

By MizzMartinez, # 12. May 2008, 06:56:19

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I think this smiley is the most appropriate one for this post: :eyes:

P:

By attilasoul, # 12. May 2008, 07:11:59

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You just know that when I cover a news story, it's not gonna be boring. :sst: Sluts.

By Furie, # 12. May 2008, 07:17:32

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I'm pretty sure this news story will be on the Swedish news tomorrow! It has happened several times...I've read it here...and then the next day PAFF there it is in the news paper! :smile:

By MizzMartinez, # 12. May 2008, 07:43:08

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I think that woman just wanted an excuse to how she lost her virginity.. :eyes:

By Cois, # 12. May 2008, 08:46:00

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Thanks, Mik, :happy: Can we do it again?

By H82typ, # 12. May 2008, 10:56:36

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You're a sucker for anal rape aren't you.. awww

By Cois, # 12. May 2008, 12:27:40

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Who isn't? :o:

By Furie, # 12. May 2008, 13:32:37

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:lol: @ the the comments

By Spaggyj, # 12. May 2008, 14:03:36

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I notice no-one minded being raped. :rolleyes:

By Furie, # 12. May 2008, 14:58:36

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How does it feel Mik? To notice that nobody cares if they've been virtually raped? Huh? Will you have a knife next time and threaten to kill them (us)?

By MizzMartinez, # 12. May 2008, 15:01:52

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Nah, I'll just video it and put it on Youtube. That's what all the cool rapists are doing. :up:

By Furie, # 12. May 2008, 15:03:40

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:lol: Cool! I'll be even MORE famous now! :happy:

By MizzMartinez, # 12. May 2008, 15:12:34

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:eyes: i think the woman is either an idiot or just shocked about losing her virginity without having touched by a man, or even by anyone! But still... That's stupid, and i don't know how to put it in a smilie

By funz81, # 12. May 2008, 18:22:29

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In a few months, cyber-baby :eyes:.
Or maybe she wasn't a virgin anyway.

By theoddbod, # 12. May 2008, 18:58:42

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:eyes: So! That's how the Terminator was born! "Hahllo, my name is Ahnold."

By H82typ, # 12. May 2008, 19:49:28

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We're being analy raped right now? :confused: I don't feel a thing..:confused: is Mik inadequate or is it just that its not bloody possible? p: answer me that..:devil:

By Cois, # 12. May 2008, 21:43:49

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The prisoners say after a while you learn to relax those muscles, so there isn't so much anal tearing. Ask Neraks bananas... :whistle:

  It's obvious by your statements that you've done this before p:

By H82typ, # 12. May 2008, 22:44:29

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Actually it's this damn connection. It's going so slow that almost nothing's getting through. :mad: Once I get Wi-fi you wont be able to sit down again. :devil:

By Furie, # 12. May 2008, 22:47:39

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:rolleyes: I've heard that lie line before...

By H82typ, # 12. May 2008, 22:51:08

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I've heard that with too much anal you won't hear a guy fart again.. :sherlock: so for how long were you a prisoner?

By Cois, # 13. May 2008, 00:28:54

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:zip:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 01:51:21

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:lol: *laughs too hard it makes her butt hurts* :ko:

By funz81, # 13. May 2008, 03:25:02

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That's just my connection speeding up, Fan. :devil:

By Furie, # 13. May 2008, 07:00:36

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Black&Decker.. :eyes:

By Cois, # 13. May 2008, 07:19:53

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That's me in slow mo. Strap a black and decker on the end and I can make it through walls baby! :cat:

By Furie, # 13. May 2008, 07:28:55

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:lol:

By rose-marie, # 13. May 2008, 08:51:08

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"Voodoo dick, my ass!"

:lol:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 12:45:57

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:eyes: ow. OW! :yikes:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 12:46:05

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Jeez! Make it stop! :cry: :insane:


:idea:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 12:46:22

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VOODOO DICK! Danni's ass! p:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 12:55:10

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:lol:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 12:56:04

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*watches from the sidelines as Dennis live out his fantasies*
:eyes:

By Furie, # 13. May 2008, 14:01:02

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*watches something much less disturbing*

By theoddbod, # 13. May 2008, 14:28:06

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*forces Mart's head round*
You'll watch and enjoy it.
:mad:

By Furie, # 13. May 2008, 14:39:01

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*stays far enough away that the Dennis Disturbance is just a small blob in the distance*

By theoddbod, # 13. May 2008, 15:05:50

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*gets closer* :left: what? I forgot to wear my glasses :right:

By funz81, # 13. May 2008, 19:09:31

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Voodoo dick, Marts ass! :devil:

By H82typ, # 13. May 2008, 20:14:46

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As if it can hear you when it's occupied with your own ass p:. It's definitely a one-shot weapon when used that way :left:

By theoddbod, # 14. May 2008, 06:40:38

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