The Dark Furie

Poor Ben. He's had such a hard life, filled with bad luck. Every job was bad, every girl a cheat and thief, every walk down the road to the local shop resulted in a fall or mugging. Even when it seems he's having good luck it ends up turning bad for him. Just look at his last job. Quickly promoted all the way up to acting CEO of a company, it was him that took the fall for insider trading he'd had no idea was going on.

From his prison cell all Ben could wish for was some good luck, just once in his life. Morning, noon and night he wished for some degree of success at anything other than being a failure. So you can imagine Ben's suprise when he woke one day to find no bars or walls keeping him in.

He looked around slowly, taking in the desert surrounding him on both sides of the road he found himself on. As no wolves attacked him immediately he started to think things were looking up. Suddenly flinching he looked up, and was happy to see no meteorites heading his way. And then he saw the sign...

100 Miles To Success

Ben was sure his prayers had finally been answered and set off down the road in the direction the sign was pointing. Past failures flared up in his mind, assuring him there was no way this would work out for him. For hours he trudged on, becoming more and more certain that the sign had turned around in some freak wind and had set him going in the wrong direction until finally, he saw another sign a little in the distance. Utilising a sudden second wind he ran towards it eagerly.

50 Miles To Success

Tears streaming down his face, he realised that everything was finally working out. He set off down the road with renewed vigour. Night fell and he almost missed the next sign in the darkness.

10 Miles To Success

Ben camped out under this sign for the night, getting only a small amount of sleep as his mind wandered in excitement. In the morning he started down the road again, happily whistling a tune. Obviously his prayers had really been answered. He hadn't even stumbled once on this journey. The next sign appeared soon enough.

This Way To Success

The sign pointed down a small dirt road towards a cabin set away from the road. Ben carefully headed towards the cabin, wondering what mystical secrets it held that would bring him success in his life. He made his way to the door and knocked nervously.

The door was immediately opened by an eight foot tall overweight balding man with thick hair on his shoulders and back, wearing only a black sparkly PVC thong.
"Well hello there hotlips", he said to Ben while removing his thong, "My name's Cess!"