The Dark Furie

Things I Learned Before I Was Ten Years Old

Friday, May 1, 2009 3:33:14 PM

I have a magical stomach with an entire country in it. After all, there are starving children in Africa and if I clear my plate of food it will help them somehow. Obviously Africa is in my stomach and the food I eat rains down to them.

I remember asking if there was a quicker way to get the food to them and if they mind eating food I'd already chewed. That earned me a slap. For a little while I tried not to chew much so the food would be a little more appetizing for them.

Anyway Africa, you're welcome.
bigsmile

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Comments

KimberlySqueakeyCat Friday, May 1, 2009 4:05:55 PM

lol

Bad WolfCois Friday, May 1, 2009 4:15:04 PM

lol thank you o mighty lord Furie but ease up on the fibre ok scared

Dark FurieFurie Friday, May 1, 2009 4:20:35 PM

Yeah, soon as you guys cut down on the sudden population burst. irked Your god has grown recently. cry

Darkogdare Friday, May 1, 2009 4:47:53 PM

rolleyes lol

Moesring Friday, May 1, 2009 5:05:42 PM

No-one has ever tried the "Starving children in Africa" guilt-trip on me, so I don't know how it goes. I've heard other people talk about it but I've never heard it first-hand. cry

If there's an entire continent inside you, have you thought about taxes? leftdevil

Dark FurieFurie Friday, May 1, 2009 5:36:56 PM

Where do you think the money from Live Aid goes? whistle

Dacotah Friday, May 1, 2009 7:13:37 PM

bigeyes lol

KittyliciousZaphira Saturday, May 2, 2009 6:52:42 AM

Some parents just say the stupidest things! rolleyes

We had a satire show on the radio a while ago, where a mother calls her daughter, running all kinds of guilt trips on her. They called it "Guilt with guilt on". bigsmile

ɥʇɐǝp ɟo ssǝɔuıɹdprincessofdeath Saturday, May 2, 2009 10:35:13 AM

lol lol lol

Dark FurieFurie Saturday, May 2, 2009 12:48:03 PM

The typical "Eat your greens or you'll die in agony from Ebola" thing? lol

KittyliciousZaphira Saturday, May 2, 2009 3:43:10 PM

Yes, plus the "I put a phone in your pocket the last time I saw you, so... you could call you know..." rolleyes

Mad Scientist (عادل)qlue Saturday, May 2, 2009 4:45:36 PM

Is it our fault you keep eating whistle.

Dark FurieFurie Saturday, May 2, 2009 5:05:00 PM

"I baked you a cookie but I eated it"? left

Cleanclean Sunday, May 3, 2009 11:11:33 AM

Eat your greens because I eated your cookie! chef lol

Dark FurieFurie Sunday, May 3, 2009 12:07:13 PM

Gimme it back.
*reaches down David's throat*

theoddbod Sunday, May 3, 2009 1:38:35 PM

My parents went more for the "everyone else has eaten it" routine rolleyes. Combine this with the "just because friend X has that, doesn't mean you have to" routine, and my attitude to peer pressure got somewhat confused.

Dark FurieFurie Sunday, May 3, 2009 2:01:08 PM

I'm surprised you're not starved after being told everyone else has already eaten your food. lol

theoddbod Sunday, May 3, 2009 2:09:30 PM

lol

Maybe that's how the Africans felt after they found out you were their official taster/digester left

Dark FurieFurie Sunday, May 3, 2009 2:14:53 PM

Maybe I should ask them... worried

funzfunz81 Monday, May 4, 2009 9:44:03 AM

lol

Cleanclean Monday, May 4, 2009 10:04:17 AM

Kimmie ... Mik's making me gag! lol

Bad WolfCois Tuesday, May 5, 2009 7:29:07 PM

Weirdly my mum pulled the 'starving kids in China' one doh like we didn't have enough starving bastards rolleyes

Dark FurieFurie Tuesday, May 5, 2009 7:31:54 PM

I just cracked up. Never once thought kids in Africa would get the starving children routine thrown at them too. lol.

Where you been man? Was starting to worry.

funzfunz81 Tuesday, May 5, 2009 8:38:06 PM

lol Gosh! That's a good one Clint lol

Dacotah Tuesday, May 5, 2009 9:17:37 PM

lol

Bad WolfCois Tuesday, May 5, 2009 10:18:32 PM

Kinda having massive network problems..irked well ya know where I was now.. Kinda getting my online fix now and got a few hundred emails to get through scared.
Guess my mum just threw that one at us as we feel South Africa isn't part of Africa rolleyes seriously we never thought that all those little pot belly kids were part of the same continent doh mean? Yes.. o

Dark FurieFurie Wednesday, May 6, 2009 9:25:08 AM

So you don't sit on the ground wearing a loincloth, face covered in flies, chatting on the web? left

Bad WolfCois Thursday, May 7, 2009 1:35:09 AM

You forgot using two stones to get internet access whistle

Cleanclean Thursday, May 7, 2009 8:50:19 AM

Hang on ... internet access in Africa is only available through wind-up computers borrowed from passing journalists who are there only to write about the people sitting on the ground wearing loincloths with their faces covered in flies, isn't it? whistle wink

(Ooh ... ! New meme? Each commenter add something to the previous notion - a word, a sentence - inclusive of the previous comments? Perhaps the next one could be about Jacob Zuma. My condolences on that, by the way, Cois sad ).

Dark FurieFurie Thursday, May 7, 2009 10:32:39 AM

Is there anything we could make up about him that wouldn't be confirmed as true? scared That shower thing blew me away.

Cleanclean Thursday, May 7, 2009 11:43:29 AM

Imagine ... the cure to HIV/AIDS was there all the time, just waiting for Jacob Zuma to discover it! rolleyes lol

Dark FurieFurie Thursday, May 7, 2009 11:58:42 AM

Why wont the medical community listen to his wisdom? It's racial profiling I swear. They think the lab he's in is made of sand and rocks so it's not sterile enough to do these sort of tests. mad.

On a serious note, I was actually shocked when I found out how popular mobile web access was in South Africa. The only exposure we had to any part of Africa as a kid were images like this.
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Disturbing%20Truths/starving_child-sudan2.jpg -
The impression I was given was that everyone in Africa lived like that, and it's an impression that stuck.

TV lied to me. cry Next they'll be revealing that black families in America don't all start dancing to jazz when they get together. mad

r♡serose-marie Thursday, May 7, 2009 1:53:23 PM

lol Guilt tripping rocks. Except when thrown in your own face, of course... Then it just sucks.

MarikeMarike79 Thursday, May 7, 2009 4:52:01 PM

lol what a strange way to make you eat! scared

o yea, I have lions walking in my backyard bigsmile

Bad WolfCois Thursday, May 7, 2009 8:06:45 PM

Stop calling your kitties lions lol.
True enough.. When me Mik and Kim started off he was plenty suprised that we had villages.. Uhm.. Cities i mean left it reminded me of the story in news way back where an american couple landed at Johannesburg airport in full safari gear and they thought wild animals walked freely around doh.
Sorry to shatter your impressions p

Dark FurieFurie Thursday, May 7, 2009 8:45:35 PM

They don't? yikes Hold on, you do all dress is tribal gear and only eat what the witch doctor tells you the spirits will allow, don't you?

Dark FurieFurie Thursday, May 7, 2009 8:52:24 PM

I'm gonna get banned for racism if I keep this illusion up. lol I did know before I came here that South Africa isn't stuck a couple of hundred years ago. The point is that this is actively hidden from most people in my country, which makes me wonder just what my country's problem is. sherlock

funzfunz81 Thursday, May 7, 2009 8:52:30 PM

lol @ the american couple! lol

funzfunz81 Thursday, May 7, 2009 8:56:59 PM

Oh.. I think I knew more about SA from a film I watched when I was very young, it's called 'stolen lives'. It was set around SA. So I'm not really as clueless as the American couple bigsmile

Mad Scientist (عادل)qlue Friday, May 8, 2009 3:06:32 AM

As to your question Mik, some of my neighbours do dress in tribal Zulu attire, and only eat what the spirits of their ancestors tell them they can. right. And many of my neighbours wear a bracelet of goat's skin. left

MarikeMarike79 Friday, May 8, 2009 4:39:05 AM

Yeah that is true... I met a guy overseas that couldn't believe there are white people in SA buth he knew who Mandela was doh

awww they are lions true... p

Dark FurieFurie Friday, May 8, 2009 12:10:23 PM

Couldn't believe there are white people in South Africa yet knows who Mandela is? Did someone edit all apartheid references out of his life or something? left

MarikeMarike79 Friday, May 8, 2009 1:43:33 PM

He was from Iran.. A refugee in London.. I worked at this youth hostel that became refugee accommodation and that is where I saw him...

Dark FurieFurie Friday, May 8, 2009 2:08:52 PM

Ah, much bigger priorities than history then.

MarikeMarike79 Friday, May 8, 2009 2:46:20 PM

smile guess so...

Bad WolfCois Friday, May 8, 2009 7:20:53 PM

I guess it depends where you're from and what you'll hear.. Qlue for instances live more near black South Africans and will give you alot of tribal references.. my experiences limit me to the coloured community as that's how I roll lol. We discussed coloured and black in South Africa right? Good p..

Never seen Stolen Lives.. When it comes to movies to the 'outside world' it's easy to see why people get warped impressions of other countries.. You only see the people living in either great turmoil and think that's how it is for the whole country.
I got my own misconceptions of other places but was glad when something or someone enlightened me..

Dark FurieFurie Friday, May 8, 2009 9:40:20 PM

As long as we all agree that all Americans are on the run from shadowy government agencies for a crime they didn't commit. up

Cleanclean Friday, May 8, 2009 10:41:42 PM

I have a vague notion of some of those misconceptions regarding wildlife, given that a lot of people actually think that kangaroos really do hop down the main streets of the cities over here.

Of course, within fifteen minutes' drive west of where I am (about an hour from Brisbane), you can see small groups of wallabies hopping about in acreage as you drive by, but they don't occupy cities, and they're only small wallabies as opposed to big red kangaroos. And there's certainly places closer to Brisbane that have the same sort of wildlife situation. They're just not actually hopping down the street ... lol

Mad Scientist (عادل)qlue Saturday, May 9, 2009 6:05:32 AM

Most people outside of Australia wouldn't know the difference between a wallaby and a kangaroo anyway. lol.

KittyliciousZaphira Saturday, May 9, 2009 6:17:50 AM

Before clicking that link I didn't even know what a wallaby was. It looks cute though. smile

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