The Dark Furie

Synchronicity is a tricky concept to define without getting all technical and, as a concept of perception it's pretty hard to prove or disprove. At it's core is the idea that everything in the world fits together in a logical pattern if you can see the connections. Other descriptions say that coincidental events in harmony with each other define synchronicity. Yeah, tricky subject. The only real way to show synchronicity is to show the unconnected events all around us and point out the connections, but that way eventually leads to wearing tinfoil hats and communicating with the Dark Masters. As one of the Dark Masters it would be unseemly for me to follow that path of madness so instead I'll just show you the news on a single feed this morning (6th October 2009) and let you draw your own conclusions. These stories appeared on my feed in reverse order and each one made me think of the last one, or next one in this post. If nothing else it'll give you an insight into how I view the world.

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There are only 125 Kakapo parrots left on Codfish Island, their natural habitat, so saying that they're an endangered species is kind of an understatement. So, when Stephen Fry (a man I respect for his level of education, even if he does have extremely poor taste in phones) went looking for them in an updated version of Douglas Adams original Last Chance To See, he hoped he'd see them mating but never realised just how desperate the species had become. In this video (mobile version here) you can see what happens when one of the male Kakapo takes a liking to the cameraman and starts humping him (fast forward to 2:14 in the video). As an extremely endangered species it's not something he can just swat off his head either, and he looks mortified as it beats its wings around his head. Still, it could have been worse for the parrot as there are some pick people in this world. People like...

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Police officer Robert Melia had his apartment searched due to allegations against him and police found videotape evidence of a different crime being perpetrated. The video showed Melia exposing his penis to five suckling calves and allowing them to perform oral sex on him as they tried to get milk. Their repeated headbutts into his stomach showed their displeasure as they got no milk from what they thought was their mothers teat.

However, as bestiality is legal in New Jersey, Melia couldn't be prosecuted for that. Instead the prosecution had to prove that the sex wasn't consensual. As the cows were both too young and too non-human to provide testimony, Melia got away with it and Judge James Morley ruled that not enough evidence was presented that these actions constituted tormenting the animals. In cases like these I always wonder how these judges would judge the situation if they were forced into the same sort of position as the animals. I personally hope Melia goes to Gunbalanya next time he wants animals to perform oral sex on him because...

An eight foot long crocodile was arrested by police in Gunbalanya for loitering in a residential area. Clearly confused, the crocodile was found trying to wrestle with a fence and get it into a death roll. Officers were called by terrified residents and the crocodile was arrested, held in a cell for three days and finally released to the custody of a crocodile farm. While being held the crocodile was described as a model prisoner who did get cranky when people came close. I'm not convinced the crocodile was all that dangerous though as...

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A twelve foot long, 800 pound alligator was taken down recently by a five year old boy. The tiny lad was out hunting with his father when the alligator, which weighs 20 times more than him, appeared in a glade. He immediately grabbed his gun (yeah, five years old and owns a gun) and shot the beast, killing it immediately.

"I wasn't even afraid." he said, showing his general level of education in just four words. "Next year I'm going to kill me a bigger alligator." Yeah kid, good luck with that. As this one was only five inches from breaking the Texas record (and still growing ) this little killer will have a hard time doing that. The boy has known how to shoot a gun since he was four years old and can drive all terrain vehicles, having been taught to do both by his father who plans to mount the alligators head and turn it's feet into bookends.

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As I said earlier these stories came to me in reverse order from top to bottom, each one seeming to fit together with the next and previous ones, forming a pattern. Synchronicity at its finest.