Friday, May 11, 2007 2:40:43 PM
There really shouldn't be any need for this post. But as this community grows it becomes more and more obvious that people have absolutely no idea how to act around other people. What would you do if a stranger walked up to you in the street and started saying to other people that you're their friend? Would you play along? Be flattered? Or, more likely, a little freaked out?
That's what this post is about. How to treat people on this community with the respect that they deserve.
How To Make Friends
First and foremost, lets imagine just for a second that the people on here are real people with actual emotions. Now that we're picturing that, try to imagine how you'd make friends with them in real life. For starters you wouldn't just go up to them and tell them they're your friend based on what you've seen them say to other people, would you?
Of course not. You'd talk to them properly. Maybe you'd introduce yourself, maybe you'd just leap into a conversation they're already having and give your two cents on the subject, or perhaps you'd laugh at a joke they'd told and compliment them on their wit. Maybe after a few such incidents you'd count that person as some sort of acquaintance if not an actual friend. Maybe then you'd start working towards an actual friendship.
The question is, why does this not happen online? Why do people try to skip this process and go straight to best buds stage. It seems to be sign up, find someone interesting, CLICK you're my friend! Which is all fine and good for the new member. "Hey, I made a friend." But what about the people who've been added? Do any of you think about that?
Well, that person gets an inbox telling them that someone they've never heard of has added them as a friend. They wonder why so they visit the person's page and usually find the person hasn't even filled in their profile, nevermind started posting themselves. They get pissed off at the wasted time and immediately see you in a bad light. Not the best start to a friendship is it?
Now try this next time you've seen someone's page that you like. First make a comment on a few posts on that person's page. Now have a look at what groups that person is part of. If you share any interests that are expressed through those groups, join up and you'll also meet other likeminded people. Post on those groups forums. Get to know people. Then ask if they mind you adding them to your friends list. There's nothing nicer to see in a potential friend than a little humility.
Hopefully, with these little tips you'll be able to make some decent friends on here and less people will be pissed off at you. Have fun on My Opera, but remember to treat people with respect.
Having trouble with people who keep requesting you, and want to make sure they read this post? I've designed a profile badge to let you link them to it. Simply add the following code somewhere on your profile, sticky post or even in a mail to these people and let it do the work for you.
<a href="http://my.opera.com/Furie/blog/show.dml/996110"><img src="http://files.myopera.com/Furie/files/friendrequest.png"></a>