Online Friendships
Friday, May 11, 2007 2:40:43 PM
There really shouldn't be any need for this post. But as this community grows it becomes more and more obvious that people have absolutely no idea how to act around other people. What would you do if a stranger walked up to you in the street and started saying to other people that you're their friend? Would you play along? Be flattered? Or, more likely, a little freaked out?
That's what this post is about. How to treat people on this community with the respect that they deserve.
How To Make Friends
First and foremost, lets imagine just for a second that the people on here are real people with actual emotions. Now that we're picturing that, try to imagine how you'd make friends with them in real life.
For starters you wouldn't just go up to them and tell them they're your friend based on what you've seen them say to other people, would you?
Of course not. You'd talk to them properly. Maybe you'd introduce yourself, maybe you'd just leap into a conversation they're already having and give your two cents on the subject, or perhaps you'd laugh at a joke they'd told and compliment them on their wit. Maybe after a few such incidents you'd count that person as some sort of acquaintance if not an actual friend. Maybe then you'd start working towards an actual friendship.
The question is, why does this not happen online? Why do people try to skip this process and go straight to best buds stage. It seems to be sign up, find someone interesting, CLICK you're my friend! Which is all fine and good for the new member. "Hey, I made a friend." But what about the people who've been added? Do any of you think about that?
Well, that person gets an inbox telling them that someone they've never heard of has added them as a friend. They wonder why so they visit the person's page and usually find the person hasn't even filled in their profile, nevermind started posting themselves. They get pissed off at the wasted time and immediately see you in a bad light. Not the best start to a friendship is it?
Now try this next time you've seen someone's page that you like. First make a comment on a few posts on that person's page. Now have a look at what groups that person is part of. If you share any interests that are expressed through those groups, join up and you'll also meet other likeminded people. Post on those groups forums. Get to know people. Then ask if they mind you adding them to your friends list. There's nothing nicer to see in a potential friend than a little humility.
Hopefully, with these little tips you'll be able to make some decent friends on here and less people will be pissed off at you. Have fun on My Opera, but remember to treat people with respect.
Having trouble with people who keep requesting you, and want to make sure they read this post? I've designed a profile badge to let you link them to it. Simply add the following code somewhere on your profile, sticky post or even in a mail to these people and let it do the work for you.
<a href="http://my.opera.com/Furie/blog/show.dml/996110"><img src="http://files.myopera.com/Furie/files/friendrequest.png"></a>

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Spaggyj # Friday, May 11, 2007 3:10:38 PM
Bad WolfCois # Friday, May 11, 2007 4:10:06 PM
(Sorry Mik, I couldn't help myself)
Dark FurieFurie # Friday, May 11, 2007 5:40:16 PM
I'm sick of seeing people's nipples
theoddbod # Friday, May 11, 2007 5:54:02 PM
Spaggyj # Friday, May 11, 2007 6:49:59 PM
theoddbod # Friday, May 11, 2007 6:59:00 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Friday, May 11, 2007 7:55:06 PM
Spaggyj # Friday, May 11, 2007 8:09:04 PM
dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsıwickedlizard # Friday, May 11, 2007 8:29:30 PM
oh yeah, English black humor is also not understood by all...
Spaggyj # Friday, May 11, 2007 8:31:14 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Friday, May 11, 2007 8:31:26 PM
dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsıwickedlizard # Friday, May 11, 2007 10:57:20 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Friday, May 11, 2007 11:18:21 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Friday, May 11, 2007 11:21:12 PM
dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsıwickedlizard # Saturday, May 12, 2007 12:00:36 AM
Dark FurieFurie # Saturday, May 12, 2007 12:09:04 AM
dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsıwickedlizard # Saturday, May 12, 2007 12:22:56 AM
Dark FurieFurie # Saturday, May 12, 2007 12:35:52 AM
Sarah angel292005 # Sunday, May 13, 2007 1:22:18 AM
I have been on Opera for a while now. Everyone that I add to my list, obviously I enjoyed reading their blog. I tried to add 'theoddbod' I think! I am not even sure really....I had a look on my list and didn't see him on there. Anyway-if I want to add 400-500-1000 people I think that I shouldn't be criticized unfairly for it. Maybe we like friends! Well, to be honest, I like the whole 'comment' factor on the blogs. That is what I really enjoy, commenting and receiving comments.
This is a problem easily solved. Live and let live. Some people want a long list and some don't...plain and simple.
Okay and also my 2 cents on making friends....welllll you put them on your friend list, and then become friends. I can actually put my real friend list on both hands....'friend' is just a word.
I will shut up now.
theoddbod # Sunday, May 13, 2007 1:46:57 AM
theoddbod # Sunday, May 13, 2007 1:48:33 AM
Sarah angel292005 # Sunday, May 13, 2007 1:59:45 AM
yeah online is completely different, I agree. No it wasn't offence...but you made a general statement and I applied it to myself..that's all.
theoddbod # Sunday, May 13, 2007 2:07:10 AM
Sarah angel292005 # Sunday, May 13, 2007 2:18:25 AM
theoddbod # Sunday, May 13, 2007 2:27:44 AM
Sarah angel292005 # Sunday, May 13, 2007 2:55:02 AM
Sarah angel292005 # Sunday, May 13, 2007 2:55:31 AM
MarcusFXM256 # Sunday, May 13, 2007 3:40:46 AM
Spaggyj # Sunday, May 13, 2007 8:58:47 AM
Sarah, you made loads of good points there. My friends list right now is only of the people I'd trust with pretty much anything. It really does bug me when people who've not even visited my page just add me. I've made it sorta protocol to inbox everyone who adds me, who I don't know, to ask why. It's stupid. Who knew there were so many freaks on here?
But you know - you guys make it worth it.
Yeah yeah, I'm being a tad emotional again - so sue me
Dark FurieFurie # Sunday, May 13, 2007 9:07:51 AM
The exceptions are those I've been chatting with for a while then realise I haven't added them yet. It's kinda rare for me to add someone before they add me.
Sometimes my friends only posts will be quite private and I like to keep that privacy. Yet what's the point of even putting it on here unless someone's gonna read it. So I'm picky about my friends list these days.
Dark FurieFurie # Sunday, May 13, 2007 9:10:51 AM
Originally posted by theoddbod:
I used to have a 28 hour day for mine, but I'm pretty much down to 24 hours now. But true, I regularly stay up til 3am. Addicted, me? Perish the thought.
theoddbod # Sunday, May 13, 2007 10:55:44 AM
Dark FurieFurie # Sunday, May 13, 2007 12:22:52 PM
Bad WolfCois # Sunday, May 13, 2007 4:05:04 PM
r♡serose-marie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 4:59:12 PM
theoddbod # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:04:08 PM
r♡serose-marie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:09:27 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 6:03:08 PM
Bad WolfCois # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 6:20:22 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 6:24:30 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 6:25:30 PM
Bad WolfCois # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 6:44:39 PM
Dark FurieFurie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 7:02:31 PM
theoddbod # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 7:27:52 PM
I think Cois may have trouble eating Bumblebee...and even greater trouble trying to seduce him.
r♡serose-marie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 7:49:10 PM
Originally posted by Cois:
+1.I too am rather picky with my friends list (or should I say acquaintance list) and seldom add people. When I do it is because I've interacted with them and feel some sort of fellowship (does this even come out right or does it only sound good in my head?
The rest of what you all said is over my head
Dark FurieFurie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 7:59:24 PM
theoddbod # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 8:06:28 PM
r♡serose-marie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 8:20:05 PM
Anyway - that is the reason I still stick around I guess.
The craziness.
More or less
Yours truly,
Natural born poet.
Dark FurieFurie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 8:26:18 PM
How dya feel about web tests?
r♡serose-marie # Wednesday, July 4, 2007 8:35:26 PM
Web tests you say? I'm up for any test where I can get a result. Any result.
*footnote* Jazz sounds best in (someone elses) headphones.