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You mad!? You can't read the news paper here!

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You mad!? You can't read the news paper here!



This is how my day started on the company. I've looked at his face for some time trying to figure out if it was a joke...

It's serious dude, you can't read news paper here. If the boss finds you reading...
-But it's put right over my desk, and its the economics parts, very interesting...- I said
-No man, you better not, no one reads the news paper here, this is used under the mixer to prevent dirty on the floor- he explains



Hmmmmmm, so how do you feel if you work on a place where you can't read the news paper?
Uninformed at least... but it's kind of censorship, they try to keep you away from the truth.
What would be so danger on it?
Surely we would get to know much better companies... with better salary and better working conditions... or even that allows us to read news paper! Goddamn it !

There are the times when I miss her the most... Still don't know where she is... or why she left... or if she's ok...

Life in prison

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Have you ever wanted to be in prison? I'm sure not... jester
But there was no agenda, everyday free, inside your cell.
No boss asking you things, no tests, no work. Free books, you could read one page a day and take years to finish the book, as you wish.
Most of the dudes weren't up to reading, so almost no one requested books.
After you learn how NOT TO FIGHT, and respect, you won't get in trouble. It's easy after some years.
Clean your room? No... not really, the room services would do so every month. So we just keep clean enough to survive. You get used to...

Wash your clothes? No... not really, just leave on the bag once a week and by the end of the day there will be "new" ones for you.
So how do you waste your time? Thinking... in anything, in nothing... or just dreaming away.
If you'r lucky enough you could get a pen and paper, draw your way around, or write your ideas.
If you WANT, you CAN work. But only if you want.

But nothing is compared to the "high prison" (can't mention the name).
Room just for you, no more waking up in the middle of the night just because some noob flushed the toilet...
All alone on your room. A bed, a sofa, tv, desk, paper and pencil. You can even masturbate if you want.
Ah, and you could also agenda your bath, so that you do it alone, or with "friends".

The best, all for free!
So what's freedom ?

New rig

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Almost an year later... I'm posting again.

Now it's to celebrate my new computer. I'v built an Asus Deluxe + Phenom II X4 945 with 4 GB DDR3 ram and ATI RADEON HD 4850 1GB GDDR3 (from xfx) with corsair HX620 all inside CoolerMaster 690.
Long years with my old Atlhon XP, in deed i needed something faster, and 64 bits generation is finally getting popular.
Next step will be a 23" new monitor, on xmas.


Later on I'll write about my new "job", with another funny guy... You know those people who repeat the same idea of the previews sentence on and on....
In classroom, too much talking wish i have more technical classes again.

No images this time. Guess no one really reads this anyway.

back in

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I'm back in, i'm back to place i'v always been.
I'm back in home, back to my pc. Back to my free net without squid proxies censoring. Back to the freedom of browsing adult content and scene sites... Back to my IRC client, msn and all social networking stuff. Back to the island!
Back to where i belong.

And only hope you'r reading... it's very interesing to write about my self to someone, thlought it's a public blog, you are my target...
Well i guess this is it. Lets get ready for xmas

Survive stay alive

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Survive stay alive
Through the thick and the thin
Survive stay alive
Until it all ends
Survive stay alive
Till I see you again

Last week of work comming soon... i can't take anymore. I know i'm in the wrong place.
I feel that when I saw the flaming shadows of the trees on the sidewalk... the shining yellow sun light and the sweet soft breeze... at that moment, i knew.. i was in the wrong place.
I should be at home watching the sea...vacations should be 2 months for everyone...

Music from Jimmy Buffett

Another blonde, another crazy dream

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This time i have dream with a different girl. I don't know her, she appear only in this dream. Another blonde, big boobs, and not skinny. We were having fun, all alone on her house, kissing and rolling on the ground, over a carpet. I'll not get in to minimal details p
Then she was far ever (important detail is that she looked foeringer, and i always talked to her in english), i was on the phone with her. I was on my room, where my sister and someother girl from my familly where slpeeing. Then the blonde appears again, talking portuguese and my sister start talking with her, i got mad. Like "my gf" not your friend... The blonde disappears, and they start complain to my mother that i was using too much the telephone, and that would be the reason for low credits on it. But was not true, since the blonde was rich girl who always call me.
My mother start inspecting the phone, and finds out a two head baby snake! WTF?/ Snakes inside the phone?
A little green-dark snake, with two heads! She cut the body in the midle, not to separate, but to kill the snake, and show to me very calmly. Wierd.
Are blondes that look atractive snakes? Representing Danger? I don't know. All i can remember is that i was feeling very very well on my blonde's arms...she was good to me.

Dreams...Daily dreams, blessed dreams...

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Tody i'm going to talk about my dream.
Starting off with a Blessed Dream i had the night before yesterday (by blessed i mean dreams we have when we sleep).

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This dream start off on one yellow pastern small house. Where i meet my friend, the blonde girl knows me for some time, but on this dream we were dating. Everything was fine, and calm, we had our first time, and we talked about about remembering...
We lived together there.
This dream was so amazing, every sensation was real, and i could almost say that was real, the memories remain.
She knows i'm talking about her... And i think this dream came after she say i'm a true friend, i really got that deep in my heart as something honest. She wouldn't lie. Even with this dream turing in to something sexual, i still like her as friend she is. Not that i would reject such situation, but..


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Blessed Dream 2 (today, or last night)
I was in some kind of rush, to catch the bus, and get somewhere. Wasn't clear where, but someone really special was there with me. My last ex gf, there has been hard times for me trying to get over the end of the relationship. In the last year i could almost say that i miss her no more, it's gone. On this dream, she was there, by my side, supporting me. We run on several streets under a fake rain, because only sidewalk got wet. We discuss about something, we met her father.
Then i don't know why, or how, she disappear from this dream.
I kind of started a new dream, where i meet my ex sceience teacher, from school. At the time he was my teacher, i used to admire him a lot, as a very intelligent guy and could awnser almost all of my questions.
In the dream, wasn't different, we came to us (me and my class were there) with a big smile and every was exicted to met him. He show us a very strange object.
White sharp, like a sheet of paper 25 x 25 x 1 cm, with a series of holes, forming a mandala shape.
He would spin that on the groud, and the object fly over 1 cm of the ground, still spinning around the grass from one side to the other, till it hits the walls or some rock.
It was very surprise, he show us another object like that, but with a different shape, this second look more like a Japanese Kanji, or even (for some of my mates) like a human face. Still spinning and flying.
So i ask him what was made of, and he explaind it was some sort of wood, with other things on it. Not paper as i though...
But the main question was how could something so simple, fly!?
According to him (on my dream) the holes let the air comes in, but then it spines the air can't get out on the same way, so it tries to force a way down, pulling the object up. (simple isn't!?)
Then i begin though... maybe we could use a different material, plastic with special surface that would help the air go in to one way, and no the other, (as they use PRO swiming wear, etc) he agree with me and said "Man, i see you getting smart every time an!?".
Great, so i don't know how i find some object, similar to his, on my hand, that was to be made by me. Actually wasn't, and never saw something similar, but i show him complaing that mine was not flying sad
Then he ask me if there was any metal inside, wasn't. He look at it, inspect, streach and "well, this is some kind of rubber with cotton, won't work out fellow, needs to be much less flexible, more hard you see?". Yeah, he was right on that point, by object wasn't hard enough.
I still don't understand WTH this dream could represent...

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3 Dream (the one i dream every day, when not sleeping)
Maybe because the bus stop i stay to come to work, is right behind a collage school. I have been having this dream, of collage romance. I see thoes teenies and begin to create stories for them...
No, not romance with ME! But they dating their mates (hetero).
And i thought what other silly jokes they could play... that common teen dating we see on movies. Yeah, tv has also a big influence on this, we watch things that just don't happend in brasil!
This is school is not too big, but it has 3 stores, and something else over that, maybe a tenis place.
May school was way different, very horizontal, with forest and hill. We used to see lots of different animals, there were small classes and we knew each other(everyone from every grade, yes one class per grade). So maybe i just dream about something i didn't had, and i'm too old to have it know. sad
I can't be dating school girls any more, it's over.
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It's over.
p
Don't get sad because i didn't dream with you, be happy because i keep you in my real world...

What for?

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Fucking pijamas?!
Fucking pijamas?!
This is where you live?
This is where you hide?
Is this your home away from home?
Nice place...
Look, a piano... a fucking piano
Music...Art...
What for?
Does this makes you a better person? ahn? Does this makes happier? Is this what you wanna show to society?
Now i see why you get confuse, all these stuff, they don't belong to your world. They are not part of you.
C'mon, lets go back to a world that YOU understand, me...you... the boys...beats, the fights...
-No more fightingggg!!
Shut the hell up! I trained you, i feed you, i teach you, and how this?! No fucking way!
You'r my dog, that's what you are, a dog! And always will be, you can never scape what you are!

Well, this is my version of a dialog in the movie Danny the Dog, wich i've watched at least 5 times.
I don't mean to apologize violence or slaves. In deed, this make us reflect how many are gang slaves in out city...

Is the tail shaking the dog?

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WTH? Is the tail shaking the dog?
What's wrong with this world. Other day i saw site where one was defending IE, and attacking FX. Ok firefox really sucks a lot, but IE is even (far) worst. No to say the worst browser ever!
In my short expirence with internet, i changed from Netscape to Opera in 1999/2000, in 98 i was forced to use IE at school, and at home sometimes. But netscape was for sure my first browser.
This makes a big difference, since i didn't know internet at first time throught IE.
Most people that did use netscape, or other browser before knowing IE, are less likly to use FX, and, to be firefox fanboy fanatics!
Opera is a superior browser, it's not meant to be used by any lammer...
Now the poem part...

I live exposed to every one's look
Everybody observes me, but no one is so critic as me
I like to be aware of all detail
Notice the unotice
The world is ten times bigger and complex for me

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Yeah, i usually notice what most people don't. I get scared "how come? it's right on your face", and i remeber those details. Tomorrow there's going to be terrible interview with me. I know the guy, he's delicated as a elephant... really, that man is rude, and will try everything to put me down.
I'm sure he'll say lots of things about me life, as if he could predict something, but he's a stupid.
It's hard to remember this during the interview, and most people really get down, i have some friends who left crying...
But let's see, i'll do my best. smile

Welding Procedure

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After a long test with 80% of the welders, we're almost done with the samples.
Welding is very risky job, UV rays, heat, toxic gas, and electricity. No, didn't weld anything, just watch and record (paper) stuff.
Apart from that, i'm quite the same.
I was wrong about her, i did a mistake, when entering the cellphone local code, so the day after that, she reply to my sms. We change lots of sms these days, i'm pretty optimistic. Although the last 3 days she didn't reply anymore sad I guess she ran out of credits, or batteries. Who knows.
Still no real meeting yet, i'm looking forward to meeting someone more mature.
May 2012
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