Monday, August 14, 2006 11:36:04 PM
A list of quotes that I find funny, enlightening or really good. This list mostly has quotes that are not from famous people, but that's fine because they are still good or funny.
"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything."
"You must not find symbols in everything you see. It makes life impossible."
"Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel."
"Everybattle is won before it is fought"
"The all knowing-all loving god of the universe is responsible or all natural disasters, wars, horrific infectious diseases and Republicans on planet Earth. He creates homosexuals so they can be one of many flashpoints of hatred and ridicule for his followers on Earth, in case they get bored with starting wars, brainwashing children or making war with followers of any of the many other religions He created. He also created people of color, which he called 'niggers', so that they should be slaves for white Europeans and Americans."
"Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it."
"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute"
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"The best buy had a midnight madness for the PSP and they told me only 10 people showed up."
"Books on How To Read
You learn from books by reading them. However, if you can't read, you can't learn from books, so you can't learn to read by reading a book that tells how to read. Does this make any sense to you?"
""It's always in the last place you look" - Of course it fucking is, if you've already found it why would you keep looking for it?"
"Doc: I'm a pacifist.
Caboose: You're a thing that babies suck on?
Tucker: No, dude, That's a pedophile.
Church: Tucker, I think he means a pacifier.
Tucker: Oh yeah, right. Man I was... totally thinking about somethin' else.
Church: That's real classy, Tucker."
"About 3% of history is some form of apology for or to black folks. This usually includes thing s about the Negro League and how those black guys would have totally kicked Derrick Jeter's ass if he mosied by the bar after the negroes had suffered a hard day of being black in the racist North of the later Industrial Age.
The rest is mostly about using black people as guinea pigs during World War II and the Cold War. "
"History is a form of right wing propaganda dedicated to ensuring that people continue to hear the messages of two key groups: 1, the Nazis; and 2, the Confederacy.
Anything that does not pertain to the Nazis or the Confederacy is probably not history. The rest of the planet outside America and Nazi Germany considers this bloody annoying
This is shown by the fact that 88% of all history ever written has something to do with Hitler, German attempts to build an atomic bomb, the Battle of Gettysburg, Confederate efforts to build a useful submarine"
Sunday, April 30, 2006 3:03:55 AM
I present to you, because I'm lazy and I don't feel like writing a discussion article right now, my 'on quotes' series, part 2, I hope you find the quotes uplifting, imaginative or just plain funny, well here goes.
1) An old Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A battle is raging inside me ... it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The old man fixed the children with a firm stare. "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee replied: "The one you feed."
2) We'll need a huge government, overarching bureaucracy, and the commitment of millions to enforce this anarchy thing, but it's doable.
3) Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then go do it.
4) Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes.
5) Well, Metcalf, suppose you try keeping that stupid mouth of yours shut,and maybe that's the way you learn how. Now where were we? Read me back the last line."
"'Read me back the last line,'" read back the corporal who could take shorthand.
"Not my last line, stupid!" the colonel shouted. "Somebody else's."
"'Read me back the last line,'" read back the corporal.
"That's my last line again!" shrieked the colonel, turning purple with anger.
"Oh, no, sir," corrected the corporal. "That's my last line. I read it to you just a moment ago. Don't you remember, sir? It was only a moment ago."
"Oh, my God! Read me back his last line, stupid. Say, what the hell's your name, anyway?"
"Well, you're next, Popinjay. As soon as this trial ends, your trial begins. Get it?"
"Yes, sir. What will he be charged with?"
"What the hell difference does that make? Did you hear what he asked me? You're going to learn, Popinjay - the minute we finish with Clevinger you're going to learn. Cadet Clevinger, what did - You are Cadet Clevinger, aren't you, and not Popinjay?"
"Good. What did-"
"I'm Popinjay, sir."
"Popinjay. Is your father a millionaire, or a member of the Senate?"
"Then you're up shit creek, Popinjay, without a paddle.He's not a general or a high-ranking member of the Administration, is he?"
"That's good. What does your father do?"
"He's dead, sir."
"That's very good. You really are up the creek, Popinjay. Is Popinjay really your name? Just what the hell kind of name is Popinjay, anyway? I don't like it."
"It's Popinjay''s name, sir," Lieutenant Scheisskopf explained.
6) We have some different variations on the main game mode, but we've tried to keep it believable so there will be no "capture the nuke"-type modes (even though I'm sure someone will eventually make a mod named just that, just to show us…).
7) A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
8) Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?
9) The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
That concludes my quotes for today, I may update it with more later, also my next post will probably be on the Nintendo Wii, the new name for the Nintendo Revolution. Until then, happy surfing.
Saturday, April 15, 2006 5:15:58 PM
Because everyone loves quotes, I now present to you part of my collection of quotes that I love, from Nietzsche to Vonnegut. Okay, here goes.
0) After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
1) The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
2) "Grab the plates, cus' you just got served!"- Jake from Advanced Wars DS( the reason why he should die)
3) Boredom: the desire for desires.
4) "Chaplain," he asked casually, "of what religious persuasion are you?"
"I'm an Anabaptist, sir."
"That's a pretty suspicious religion, isn't it?"
"Suspicious?" inquired the chaplain in a kind of innocent daze. "Why, sir?"
"Well, I don't know a thing about it. You'll have to admit that, won't you? Doesn't that make it pretty suspicious?"
"I don't know, sir," the chaplain answered diplomatically, with an uneasy manner.
"Chaplain, I once studied Latin. I think it's only fair to warn you of that before I ask my next question. Doesn't the word Anabaptist simply mean that you're not a Baptist?"
"Oh, no, sir. There's much more."
"Are you a Baptist?"
"Then you are not a Baptist, aren't you?"
"I don't see why you're bickering with me on that point. You've already admitted it. Now, Chaplain, to say you're not a Baptist doesn't really tell us anything about what you are, does it? You could be anything or anyone." He leaned forward slightly and his manner took on a shrewd and significant air. "You could even be," he added, "Washington Irving, couldn't you?"
5) If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
6) Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss.
7) If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
8) There is always a good side to every situation. Stay optimistic and try to see an opportunity in your calamities, not pessimistic and see calamities in every opportunity
9) You can't have everything, where would you put it?
10) You raise your fist and let out a primal scream of victory -- then you realize you are playing ping pong and compose yourself.
11) The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
12) THE UNIVERSE:
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
13) "Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel."
14) "A delayed game is eventually good, a bad game is bad forever."-Shigeru Miyamoto
Those are all the quotes for now, later I will add more of my favorite quotes( keep in mind that the numbers don't mean the order in which I like them).