I'm not lonely anymore

I had a dream about you last night ^^. A very happy dream. You came with a friend and I took you around the city by bicycle. It's strange that a few hours ago, I though I feel easier when you, somehow, getting far and far from me. I though about some reason that would make you will not misunderstand me. But any explaination is seem like an excuse. I know one thing. You are the first. And may be the last.

I wish I can get away from my sin so I can not talk with you. I must really careful each time saying anything. I don't want to make you getting hurt more than you have to. I gave you a hard time. But I really wanna hold you ^^. In the dream, I took your hands while you was standing behind me and round them around my body. I can still feel the warm of them. I need them. I find some replacement without notice it. But all is only just an illusion. My heart's never been like that when I think about anybody except you. It hurts. But I can feel my feeling clearlly. I don't have much experience but I don't know other ways to describe it than: "I love you"