Blue Chamber

One: I'm away on holiday next week!

Two: Oh really? So you haven't given yourself agoraphobia after all? How long are you away for?

One: A whole fortnight! But don't worry. While I'm away I've asked my neighbour to pop across to feed my paranoia.

Two: Oh that's ni-what? Feed your paranoia?

One: Yes! You know the kind of thing; leave doors ajar, move some random items, make the bed look as if it's been slept in, put some new food items in the fridge, open one or two bits of mail...I like to worry about my home when I'm on holiday, as you know. Unfortunately for a full-time neurotic like me it's always a bit of a let-down coming back to find that everything's hunky-dory and you've been fretting your nails to stubs for absolutely nothing. This way I can pretend that the worrying is justified.

Two: ...

One: I know. Smart, isn't it?