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Blue Chamber

A Place for Dreaming

Boredom Detector!

Scientists today revealed the astonishing discovery of a particle hitherto unknown to science. Using new multi-million pound detection equipment they discovered the particles emanating in huge quantities from a 1st floor office building in central Aberdeen. “It was remarkable-” claimed David Wilson, chief theoretical physicist at Aberdeen University. “As soon as the new equipment became operational we suddenly found millions of these new particles streaming past our detectors in a veritable gale! Once we’d verified the equipment was functioning to spec, unplugged and re-plugged it a few times, it didn’t take us long to backtrack to the source.”

Called ‘Dontgiveafuckyons’ (name pending) these new particles are, astonishingly, generated by human beings. “Investigating inside the building, we found the strongest concentration of them to be coming from one particular worker, although several people nearby were also showing high readings. We interviewed several of the people involved and found that, to a man, each was showing definite signs of frustration and even boredom with their working conditions. The particle flow seemed to increase as this feeling intensified, and vice versa.”

One of the strongest readings came from a badger-haired data-handler in his thirties who did not seem surprised by this startling phenomenon. “God, it all makes sense now! I’ve often found that when I’m bored work gets more boring in response, doing its best to really piss me off. I’ll get more and more annoying phone calls, or my pen will break, or the computer will suddenly develop ‘network problems’, slowing everything down to a crawl. Today it was all three!” Dr Wilson noted that this observation did indeed comply with the quantum principle of observance, or put more simply ‘Mind over Matter’, but utilises a variety of quantum string interaction that is yet to be fully understood but is stunning in its implications.

Dr Wilson is tremendously excited by his discovery. “Obviously more study needs to be done; we need to measure the impact this has on others, whether the effect is infectious in nature and how quickly it would spread if this were the case. Thinking practically, we envision that productivity issues in workplaces afflicted with particularly high counts of Dontgiveafuckyons could finally be dealt with – detectors in offices could alert managers to flagging, non-productive staff or, conversely, could be used to praise employees in offices with lower – or even non-existent - readings. This could lead to a revolution in the manner in which offices and other workplaces are managed, potentially increasing revenue for all concerned! We’ve applied for preliminary funding from a number of sources and are confident of making more important discoveries very soon. We’re a long way yet from a marketable boredom detector/productivity alarm!”

NB: In response to our research of this article, several groups have arisen swiftly to protest any further work in this field, citing privacy concerns and the fear of harsher working environments. After several incidents at his home, Dr Wilson and his family are now in police protective custody.

If you stole a bucket of fog, would it be mist?Changing Rooms

Comments

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hehe, I wonder who this thirty something year old badger haired data-handler could be? :wink:

Just as well some of these particles can be vented and absorbed by the specifically designed operablogmachine, otherwise who knows what might happen!! :eyes:

By kirstycat, # 20. May 2008, 14:51:58

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Hmm, I wonder...:whistle:

Without the Operablogomatic to soak up the excess particles I suspect the person mentioned in the interview might have exploded long before now. Either that or gone on a horrendous killing spree. :bomb:

By GrantTLC, # 20. May 2008, 14:56:20

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TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS TICK FOLLOWS TOCK FOLLOWS...the bordum until your birthday by any chance? :beer: :cry: :yikes:

By GoldBug, # 20. May 2008, 18:15:41

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No, just the boredom of being sat at my screen all day. :frown:

By GrantTLC, # 20. May 2008, 18:25:24

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I'm getting bemused how long iTunes are taking to get the new ROBIN GIBB song ALLAN FREEMAN DAYS on their site, it seems that they don't want my money!

Boredum, yeah it can lead to mind numbing yawns spreading all over ones body until all you want to do is sleep....zzzzzzzz:cheers:

By GoldBug, # 20. May 2008, 19:45:37

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POINT OF VIEW writes:

HERE'S TO ALEX FERGUSSON ON THE CHUMPS LEAGUE WIN, HE IS A LEGEND!

By anonymous user, # 21. May 2008, 22:43:01

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No, no he isn't. He's the humourless, overly-aggressive manager of some silly little sports team who last night beat another silly little sports team in an over-hyped farce involving an inflatable pigs bladder.

And they won on penalites which everyone knows is nothing to do with actual skill but just a quick, cheap way to avoid the most boring of games dragging on for hours more.

YOU HEAR ME WORLD? FOOTBALL SUX!!!

By GrantTLC, # 22. May 2008, 07:19:26

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I AGREE!! :yes:

By kirstycat, # 22. May 2008, 08:15:44

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Heh. :yes: I'll never understand how such a dreadful game became so universally popular!

By GrantTLC, # 22. May 2008, 14:13:28

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I saw Indy 4 last night - Holly Cities of Gold!:coffee: monkey monkey rip monkey monkey monkey :hat:

By GoldBug, # 23. May 2008, 09:08:55

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ARNIE AND THE TERMINATORS writes:

Bale 'to make three Terminators'

By Mark Savage
Entertainment reporter, BBC News in Cannes



Bale's other films include American Psycho and The Prestige
Christian Bale is to play rebel leader John Connor in three sequels to the Terminator franchise, its producers have revealed.

The Welsh-born star, who is soon to be seen in Batman Begins sequel The Dark Knight, has already started shooting the first of those films, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins.

"He's really an actor's actor, so we're very proud," said Victor Kubicek of film company Halcyon.

Charlie's Angels director McG is directing the new film, which is due to be released on 22 May 2009.

"Christian was our first choice and he's a big fan of The Terminator, so we're very lucky," Kubicek told the BBC at the Cannes Film Festival.

"But with Batman he's already done the whole franchise thing, so we weren't sure he'd respond."

Luckily, said Kubicek's business partner Derek Anderson, "he read the script and he loved it, so he's signed on for all three."

US rap star Common will also have a lead role in the film, as will Australian actor Sam Worthington, who will soon be seen in Titanic director James Cameron's science-fiction epic Avatar.


Schwarzenegger played the Terminator in three blockbuster films
The producers would not reveal whether Arnold Schwarzenegger would reprise his role as the Terminator. Nor would they discuss character names or plot details.

"We can't talk about the story points at all," said Kubicek, adding the project was being kept strictly under wraps.

"Not everyone gets to see the script. They only see the part of the script that's relevant to the job they're doing."

But the producers promised not to disappoint fans of the time-travelling franchise, which has also spawned TV series The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

"We're both huge Terminator fans and we're just approaching it from the point of view of what we'd like to see," said Anderson.

"Any time we're feeling pressure we just take a step back and say, as fans, 'what would we like to see?'"


By anonymous user, # 23. May 2008, 09:17:15