Wednesday, 30. July 2008, 12:55:19
sci-fi, Family, Cinema
In a similar vein to the last post, I'm now taking my mum to see Wall-E at the cinema tomorrow! She phoned last night and pleaded with me to take her, so I've booked tickets just in my lunch there. She didn't have to plead, for two very good reasons. 1) The blatantly manipulative pitiful-female voice sounds disturbing coming from a 55 year old woman: I really must ask her to stop doing it. 2) I've been wracking my brains for a while now trying to think of a plausible way to see Pixar's latest opus without looking like I'm a sad single guy at the cinema possibly scouting for children to 'befriend'.
Sigh. The perils of being perpetually young at heart in a cynical world.
Mum never gets to see films these days unless I take her. Her friends are all rubbish, and Dad doesn't like cinemas what with being born in the age of chalk-boards and Churchill (The Prime Minister not the Insurance Sales-dog). So it's good that she has me; thankfully her taste in cinema is much the same as mine, our relationship has enough tension in it already, thank you very much Scorpio vs Gemini, without subjecting it to my point-blank refusal to even countenance watching Sex and the City.
Wednesday, 23. July 2008, 06:48:54
Facebook, Family, beer
This weekend, my next-youngest brother, Rory, 2 of 4 (I'm 1 of 4), joined the ranks of all who suffer the pain of having the number '3' as the first digit of our ages, a special occasion I’m sure you’ll agree. Naturally, an event of this magnitude needed a proper celebration so a rare gathering of Cruickshanks – a momentous meeting usually only reserved for ultra-special family Xmases – was arranged to help him see the difficult transition through with plenty of booze, mockery and a fresh airing of musty old family personality clashes.
With brother 4 of 4, Ranald, in Aberdeen with me already, we took a Megabus down to the capital together, economy-priced bus tickets winning out over the faster but ridiculously non-cheap train fares; no jokes about Aberdonians being tight-fisted, please, as a punch in the face usually offends...
It takes nearly four hours to bus from city to city, taking into account all the wee fiddly stops the Megabus makes on the way, so while Ranald chuckled to himself reading an old Discworld novel I let myself doze lightly, using my phone’s mp3 player to block out all annoyances and distractions. But just as we were crossing the mighty Forth Road Bridge Ranald received a text from Rory with the news that he in turn had received a text from our cousin, Lisa, who had – completely coincidentally – travelled up Edinburgh with a large group of girlies getting drunk for the weekend! 
This was hugely exciting news to me – I hadn’t seen Lisa in roughly fifteen years! I’d heard a few things about her now and again but being male my capacity for retaining family trivia is not great (“Yeah, great, that’s nice. What’s for lunch?”), so you can understand I was delighted to have the opportunity to see her again! Childhood memories of the holidays Lisa and her sister Suzanne used to spend with our family came swimming back; we always had loads of fun when they visited, and it saddened me a little that so much time had passed without contact. Families, eh? 
After a little blizzard of text messages – arrangements for us all to meet at the right pub – Ranald and I were finally stood outside the Abbotsford pub in Rose St, the long street of pubs and shops and assorted joy that runs parallel to the famous Princess St. I went in, had a look round, couldn’t see her. Ranald had a look, couldn’t see her either...apart from a group of girls stood directly at the bar in front of us which just *might* contain Lisa. If only Ranald or I had the sheer brass man-parts to gawk somewhat rudely at a group of attractive women...(Heh, if only either of us knew how to stop...!)
Suddenly, there she was! Cue lots of hugs, a squeal or two (one of which might have been me) and LOTS of greetings, questions, and introductions.
Lisa and I, together again after 18 years!!
Lisa, and her lovely friend Sarah, decided to let the rest of their group move on to the next pub while they stayed and had a drink with us Cruickshank boys (not forgetting one of Ranald’s best mates, Sam, and his pretty Swiss girlfriend, Rosa). It was marvellous seeing Lisa again – so different from how I remember her but also so very familiar, too. She’s 32, has a 10 year old boy called Nathan, and has grown into an especially beautiful and personable young woman. 
Lisa and Alasdair (He's 3 of 4)
She currently lives near Newcastle (Did she tell me Morpeth or did I make that up...?) and her strong Lancastrian accent of old has softened to make way for a few lilting Northumbrian tones. We swapped news of family and lots of mobile phone pics via the magic of Bluetooth, and also pledged to befriend each other on Facebook. All too soon, however, she had to scurry away to rejoin her friends (
), although we did promise to meet up later on that evening when both groups of people would be out properly.
Rory - 30th birthday boy - and Ranald. Ranald's the one vainly finger-stroking his Erol Flynn moustache...
The party moved to another pub along Rose St, a gothic rock pub frequented by many of Ranald’s old friends. 
And that was where we spent the rest of the evening, basically, chatting, drinking and chatting some more. By 11pm we were all in various states of drunkenness (I could still walk in a straight line) and tiredness so Rory and I returned to his flat, me grateful for the chance to finally dump my travel bag somewhere I didn’t have to worry about it. I was asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. 
There, that's a better pic of Ranald's facial horrors. Doesn't he look like a 1950's movie villain?
The next day I bullied Ranald into accompanying me into town for some lunch. Rory didn’t want to come, as he had a lot of chores to do before his birthday celebration later on that evening. We were both starving, so quickly found another little pub on Rose St (can’t remember what this one was called) and ordered Bubble and Squeak for myself and a full breakfast for Ranald. This took a while to get to us, which despite us having been told was “running late” we felt was taking it a bit far. We were especially upset when the couple that had come in and taken our seats - after we had shoved across to a better table - were served before us! 
I was all for storming up to the bar for a good moan but when we looked closely at what the other couple had ordered we noticed that, unluckily for us, they had ordered exactly the same two meals – they were eating OUR breakfasts! Ranald and I had ordered up at the bar, so the floor staff, not knowing who we were, simply brought food to that table and served the two people sitting there. I felt massively silly after that, it being entirely my fault that Ran and I had to wait so long, so when it arrived I ate my food quickly, quietly and without looking anybody in the eye.
At the station I realised I was an hour early for my Megabus home, having forgotten what time I’d booked it for. 
So I let Ranald escape back to Rory’s and amused myself with phone-calls to my girlfriend, an Aliens graphic novel anthology and a gaming magazine. I did try to jump onto an earlier bus but was told this was not allowed. I wasn’t sure why it wouldn’t be but didn’t feel like forcing the issue, not after nearly making a prat of myself over lunch.
I never did get to see Lisa again either: they must have been having too much fun. It certainly sounded like a full night judging by the fact they all slept in so long they very nearly missed their train home! But Lisa has since texted me, soothing the sting of disappointment with promises to meet up soon, and I can’t imagine we’ll lose touch this time, not now we’ve got each other’s phone numbers and Facebook profiles! 
Thursday, 27. March 2008, 08:49:15
Losing Weight, Family, Gaming
Fans of people (namely, me) becoming lighter, fitter and more beautiful should be advised: there is next to NO chance that I have lost any weight this week. My weekly exercise has decreased, while my food intake has definitely increased. Over Tuesday and Wednesday night Ranald and I spent our evenings co-operatively tackling Lego Star Wars II (Original Trilogy) on the Gamecube while scoffing shop-bought Pizza and takeaway Special Fried Rice respectively, and quaffing moderate quantities of wallet-friendly non-apple ciders.
This is not how people lose weight.
Thus, I am preparing myself for a Gain. Hopefully only a pound, but it feels to my keen body-sense like there may be more - they do say that when weight comes back it does so with reinforcements...
PS: I'm not sure I'm happy with my new banner image. Expect it to change shortly.
Monday, 24. March 2008, 21:54:35
Family
I'm home now, pleasantly surprised to come back to a wonderfully tidy house (oh yeah, I did do that before I left, didn't I?) and slightly nauseus from reading my novel on the bus home. The oil-burner placed to my left has warmed sufficiently to begin filling the air with the sweet scent of Blue Orchids, and Amarok, the best music software available anywhere, is running through a playlist of some of my most soothing MP3s.
I'm home, and I'm happy.
I love my family. You might not have caught me saying that a few years ago but the wrenching, reluctant feeling in my heart as I left MacDuff makes that simple truth an inescapable one for me. Behind their bickering my parents still playfully enjoy each other's company, and both obviously enjoy having their children under their roof (well, it's obvious in my Dad only if you know where to look, but I think I've got the hang of it at last). Ranald and I were both treated like kings, as is only right and proper. Ranald, excited by his upcoming trip, was a whirling dervish of packing and preparation, but found time to pose for some snaps of him in various outfits, ostensibly destined for his own page on Bebo but I doubt he'll mind me posting them here:
Boiler Suit Ranald. Action Figures now available - collect the set!
Naval Uniform Ranald. Smart, save for the ginger paintbrush he's wearing on his chin. And the knobbly knees 
Thai Boxing Ranald. It's important to look stylish when kicking and punching an opponent to death. Also, that outfit should show off the splattered blood nicely. Oh, and he also posed long enough for me to take one of his 'Mother's shame', as he called it: the first half of a giant tattoo he's having done on his back:
He'll get the second wing when he comes back from Sea, he tells me. For the record, that one wing cost him a cool £120. Little bugger earns too much!
Anyway, dinner on Sunday evening was a special one. Not only were we celebrating Ranald's first trip away but as Dad himself was at sea over xmas (He's been a 'Master Mariner' - ship's Captain - for over 40 years now) this was his first time to enjoy a special meal with his family. Mum half-jokingly offered to fish out a few crackers she still had left over from the festive season, but we were all more than happy demolishing the bottle of Champagne bought specially for the occasion and the fine array of home-cooked Cullen Skink and roasted meats. 
Dinner was so good I didn't even have room for the Black Forest Gateau: Gillian would have been proud of me!
Later that evening I managed to convince my Dad to let me put on the present I'd bought him for xmas. A DVD box-set of a certain sci-fi series starring a rag-tag fleet of humans running from the threat of a terrible robotic enemy...Battlestar Galactica. Not only is it my current favourite TV show, I see my parents shadowed in the two main human leaders of that series (Dad as Commander Adama is a no-brainer, but my Mum can be as formidable as President Laura Roslin when she needs to be!). Dad likes a bit of sci-fi now and again but he's very particular about what he accepts as good TV. BSG had it all to prove if it Dad was even going to tolerate the initial mini-series...
I'm happy to report that not only did they watch all three hours plus of the mini-series that night, but Mum ripped opened Season 1 the very next afternoon - they were still watching it, tearing through episode after episode, as I left for the bus home, so I can safely say they liked it! I can practically guarantee that when they reach the big cliff-hanger ending of season one they'll be through to Aberdeen to get seasons 2 and 3 off me by the end of the week; BSG wins itself some more fans! 
I'm tiring fast so I'll bring this little blogging adventure to an end. It has been a rare weekend, with joys and horrors in equal amounts. Truthfully, it's been fun (mostly) and it will be a shame to go back to work tomorrow. However, Ranald has promised to come stay at mine for a night on his way back down to Edinburgh tomorrow so that should be good. I've just bit-torrented the glorious return of Futurama, too: Bender's Big Score, so maybe we rabid 'Rama fans will find time to sit down and view over a beer or two. I think I'll give the blogging a rest for a day or two after this, but before I go here are a few more pics from the weekend:
Lachie: The Gayest Dog in the Universe. This is a rare pic because he HATES having his picture taken, and scurried away under the table the instant after I took this
Meer, Mum's new cat, is a Disciple of Evil Forces - Fear her Malevolent Collar! 
Yep, the weather in MacDuff was just as bad as Aberdeen, if not worse. Sadly, there wasn't enough snow lying on the ground to stop me travelling home for work, even if the bus did skid a few times stopping at various town stops. Bah.See ya soon, everyone.
Monday, 24. March 2008, 10:31:06
Family
After yesterday I will hate public transport until the end of time.
At the end of my last post, I had returned home after missing a bus to MacDuff due to my own stupidity (If you haven't read that post, please do so now). Having written the post to alleviate my temper, I once more gathered my things, wrapped up as warmly as I could, and headed out into the cold and snow, which was at this point falling gently.
Or it was, until I turned my key in the front door lock and started moving down the road. This was apparently the signal for the snow to dial-up to 'blizzard' again, as if the objective had suddenly become to bury me under tonnes of frozen water. In the mood I was in there were a fair few choice curse-words hurled at the sky right then, I can tell you!
I once more made it to the bus stop, a five minute walk along Northern road, next to an oriental takeaway called 'The Happy Palace', and waited for the next bus to come.
It was freezing by that point. Despite my gloves my fingers were going numb with cold, and it was all I could do to keep any sensation in them at all, clenching and unclenching seemed to do little good, and hyper-ventilating to increase my blood circulation only made me dangerously light-headed. And the shivering...god, I was miserable. But while I was still cursing the weather a good 50 percent of that ire was directed inwards; if only...
While waiting this time I forced myself to concentrate: I repeated '305' in my head like a mantra, and fixed my vision on the bend on the road where it would appear. There was no way I was missing it this time! Suddenly, there it was! I grabbed my bags and ran out to the road-side waving like a mad-man, confident that I'd done everything possible to get on this bus...
...which, to my astonishment, drove right past me. The bus driver didn't even look in my direction so I'm still not sure if he didn't actually see me or simply ignored me. A fury erupted in me then, white-hot and blinding: I started spewing hot torrents of abuse at the back of the rapidly diminishing vehicle. My cold extremeties momentarily forgotten I even started to run after the thing, bags in hand, determined to catch it at the upcoming roundabout and kick the driver senseless. How DARE he keep me out in the freezing weather and parted from my family?!?
Obviously I didn't catch the bus so I phoned my parents and spoke to my innappropriately-amused Dad in short exclamations of frustration and pure liquid rage.
The outlook was gloomy: If I had to wait another hour and a half for the next bus I wasn't going to reach MacDuff until tea-time. That's IF I could get on that *$!*ing bus! I needed someone to shout at - big time - so I resolved to catch the first city-bus into the town centre and unleash my fury at some undeserving, under-paid office-clerk; if nothing else it would help me feel better.
A bus duly arrived, I got on (hating the irony of being perfectly able to catch a bus heading AWAY from my destination), and travelled into town in brooding, simmering silence. At Union street I alighted and stomped down to the steps toward the bus station, picturing in my mind's eye everything I was going to say, every swear-word I was going to use.
The bus station was in the process of being demolished.
I stood and looked for what seemed like the longest time, shocked out of my dark thoughts. 'No...you can't do this to me'. Of course I'd known they were closing this bus station; I just hadn't realised they'd already done it. 'Where the hell do you catch buses from now...???' Visions of a new terminal on the other end of town swam into my mind...
And then a bus turned out of a slip-road directly to my left. 'Of course. Next-door!'.
I rushed through the glossy new terminal to the platform, and found the stance that my bus would leave from. A quick scan of the timetable revealed a surprise: there was a bus leaving in...two minutes? I looked up at the bus sat there, full of passengers, door open, and read the number above the windscreen. '305 to Elgin...! Ohmygod...excuse me-' I asked the driver, not daring to believe my sudden good fortune '-is this bus going through MacDuff?'. The driver answered my question in the withering tone of someone weary of being asked moronic questions by members of the public (I used it myself many times as a Barman), but that didn't bother me in the slightest: as long as I was on a bus heading to MacDuff you could have kicked me in the nuts and I'd still have wept salty tears of undying gratitude. And instead of arriving in MacDuff at 4.15, I was now an hour ahead of that schedule. Only 3 hours later than originally planned, rather than four.
I took my seat up the back of the vehicle with a profound sense of relief. I was still angry, still convinced that I should just have returned to bed and awaited a new day where I wasn't the target of some cosmic ill-humour, but my ordeal seemed to have miraculously come to a close. Perhaps the big evil upstairs had wearied of toying with me and moved on to another poor sap.
Of course, small things still irritated, like the way this bus driver - in contrast to her blind colleague - stopped at EVERY stop on the way there, and even lingered too long at one or two more, but I made it to MacDuff eventually and settled in to the familar bosom of my family, who quickly fed and watered me back towards something approximating my natural good cheer. A good night's sleep did the rest.
So that was my day yesterday, long, cold and frustrating. Hopefully you've all had better ones. 
Sunday, 23. March 2008, 11:39:57
Family
Today I discovered that being organised is only half the battle. In addition, it helps not to be a total dumbass.
It's snowing today in Aberdeen:
I enjoy the snow. Not the cold - cold sucks - but the way it visually revitalises the corpse-like Aberdeen landscape. It's pretty:
I was busy cleaning the house when it started but I just had to stand and watch the prettiness for a while...and, of course, take a couple of snaps for you, my loyal readers.
However, I'm now a touch annoyed with myself having stood out in it for 30 minutes for no reason (This is the part about me being a dumbass).
I'm off to my Parent's house in MacDuff again. My littlest brother Ranald is up; having finished the first part of his university training (Merchant Naval Engineer) he's now awaiting assignment for his first training tour at sea. He knows the ship he'll be working on, he just doesn't know when. So while he waits Mum has dragged him up to MacDuff to help him make sure he's got everything he needs for going away, and to allow her and Dad to shower him with Fatherly stoic pride and Motherly affection. There will even be champagne, I'm told.
An important occasion, so I carefully planned everything out. Mum wanted me to pick up something from a local store here for her - I got it yesterday. I cleaned the house this morning, and despite arguing with my neighbours upstairs over my music supposedly being played too loud (Maybe it was, but stamping on my ceiling like I'm a naughty child only made me turn the volume UP), I managed to get it all tidy with plenty of time to spare. I packed, this time remembering everything I needed (mind like a sieve sometimes), and left the house with more than enough time to visit a bank machine and await the bus. I even remembered to put in my contact lenses so I could read the bus numbers!
I like to be helpful. Most bus drivers will slow down and try to stop if they see someone waiting, so I like to do my bit to help them on their way - wave them past: 'No no, I don't need you, but thanks for looking'. So after twenty minutes of me braving the bitter cold and wet, and having done my bit for two passing local buses, I see a third one coming.
"Oh, here comes the 305 - ooooh noooo, don't get that one! You'll be on that one for hours!' thought I, pleased with my mighty cleverness "You want the number 10 because the 305 goes...goes...-"
There was an awful second or two where my brain sat down with itself for a detailed analysis of the facts.
"-...through MacDuff. While the 10 goes nowhere near..."
I stepped out from the shelter and watched my bus disappearing up the road.
"O-kaaaay. The only bus running this morning that would have got you to Mum's in time for lunch...and you, you great pillock, have just cheerfully waved it past."
Mr Not-A-Happy-Bunny-Anymore then stomped his way home to await the next one, berating himself with every step for his total stupidity. (I've got another hour yet before I have to leave the house 
)
So you see, gentle listener, it pays not only to be prepared and plan ahead, but to not be a complete and total dumbass. Thanks for listening.
Sigh.
WIDGETIZE