Sex Music: The Soundtrack to your Love Lives
Monday, 4. February 2008, 16:25:29
Last weekend, during my crazed Haggis/Jaffa cake/Pringle/wine binge (Geek Night), I was introduced to Goldfrapp's 2003 album, Black Cherry. It came up in conversation as a perfect album to make love to, by a very charming, newly-married lesbian geek, and came highly recommended. Laura just so happened to have brought along her copy, too, and having then been caressed by Ms Goldfrapp's aural attentions I could not help but agree (Which might just explain why I - the renowned non-smoker of legend - was smoking cigarettes that night! 
)
Anyway, having been bitten I seem to have become smitten with Goldfrapp (
), playing Black Cherry so often that after a few days even I began to tire of it and wondered what their other albums were like. Being a profoundly 21st century boy, I turned immediately to Bittorrent, and soon had five of their albums to play with. Oh sorry, six, but how can an album purely composed of remixes be called a proper album?
Which brings me to the point of this tale - Granty has suckered you in with talk of sex music specifically so he could have an audience of greater than one (himself) for a mini-rant.
Remixes. Oh, how I wish I could stuff each and every remixed song back up the rectal cavities of the 'artists' who made them! They're not artists, they're engineers. Or, as I call them, 'Talentless cockroaches who live off the talent of others'. I wouldn't mind them so much if they at least improved or added-something to the song they re-mixed, but in nigh-on every single case I've ever come across the effect has been detrimental (I think the dance-version of Tori Amos' Professional Widow was an improvement, but that's not saying much). Once contemplative melodies have been shoe-horned into faster tempo's and ruined with artless, machine-spewed accompaniaments and melodies that just plain crap all over the original artist's hard work. I don't understand why proper bands and artists allow it; they sit down and write songs of whatever length, spending months perfecting each bar, each note, each lyric..and upon release some twat with a digital keyboard and sample machine buggers about it with for a couple of days and then injects it into the doped-up minds of the uber-cretins inhabiting club-land, to some kind of acclaim that means he gets to do it further down the line to somebody else.
Feel free to disagree with me, but also feel free to suffer my scorn and bitter disapproval of everything you are *shakes fist*. On the other hand, if you want to suggest any songs or albums you know of that provide a good background to a spot of sweet lovin', I'd be fascinated to hear your thoughts on the matter...?
)Anyway, having been bitten I seem to have become smitten with Goldfrapp (
), playing Black Cherry so often that after a few days even I began to tire of it and wondered what their other albums were like. Being a profoundly 21st century boy, I turned immediately to Bittorrent, and soon had five of their albums to play with. Oh sorry, six, but how can an album purely composed of remixes be called a proper album?Which brings me to the point of this tale - Granty has suckered you in with talk of sex music specifically so he could have an audience of greater than one (himself) for a mini-rant.
Remixes. Oh, how I wish I could stuff each and every remixed song back up the rectal cavities of the 'artists' who made them! They're not artists, they're engineers. Or, as I call them, 'Talentless cockroaches who live off the talent of others'. I wouldn't mind them so much if they at least improved or added-something to the song they re-mixed, but in nigh-on every single case I've ever come across the effect has been detrimental (I think the dance-version of Tori Amos' Professional Widow was an improvement, but that's not saying much). Once contemplative melodies have been shoe-horned into faster tempo's and ruined with artless, machine-spewed accompaniaments and melodies that just plain crap all over the original artist's hard work. I don't understand why proper bands and artists allow it; they sit down and write songs of whatever length, spending months perfecting each bar, each note, each lyric..and upon release some twat with a digital keyboard and sample machine buggers about it with for a couple of days and then injects it into the doped-up minds of the uber-cretins inhabiting club-land, to some kind of acclaim that means he gets to do it further down the line to somebody else.
Feel free to disagree with me, but also feel free to suffer my scorn and bitter disapproval of everything you are *shakes fist*. On the other hand, if you want to suggest any songs or albums you know of that provide a good background to a spot of sweet lovin', I'd be fascinated to hear your thoughts on the matter...?
Hope your day was a better one!
