Blue Chamber

One of the nice things about my job (other than owning minions¹ and dual widescreen TFTs) is the randomness of some the issues that come my way. Take this one, for example...



This is a portion of a Telephone Exchange known as a Cable Run, basically a hefty metal gridmesh suspended from the ceiling or built into special 'loft' spaces for the purpose of running cables between various complicated equipments. The pigeon is what one, being blessed with a fairly black sense of humour, might call 'an unexpected bonus'.

This poor specimen has clearly been trying to build itself a nest and has, judging by that smooth, white ovoid, even gotten as far as producing offspring before coming to a somewhat messy end.

I've been laughing at this for about two days now, giving rise to much concern among colleagues. I keep writing the words 'dead pigeon' in emails and giggling.

But here's what really gets me about this: how did this poor bugger die?? I've been wracking my brain in idle moments - not that I get many of those among the phone-and-email torrent that is my daily working life - trying to piece together the circumstances. Perhaps I've watched too many detective shows on TV but something just doesn't make sense.

Lets review:

• This bird looks smashed, and not in a good way. Is that neck broken? What could have done this and then not eaten the rest of the kill?
• Bird is covered in poo not it's own. Has something been back up there to perhaps nibble on an egg? That could possibly explain why one egg is pristine and the other...not. But why nibble on an egg and not the bird itself?

You see? Questions. I need to get myself some yellow tape and a UV torch.

This issue is clearly a Health & Safety hazard, one of the rare amusing ones, so there are several in-progress cable installs that now need to go on hold until the site has been cleared and sterilised, but at least the customer responded with a smiley-face in his email after I sent this picture to him (not just me finding it funny, then). Meanwhile, the sleuthing continues. Feel free to speculate in the comments below - together I know we can crack this fiendish case!

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¹Everything I learned about management I learned from Dungeon Keeper.