Cold Burns & Corrosive Love

A candy bar wrapper is not a substitute for a condom

shortcuts are rarely short

drive a truck, park anywhere

having children is a good way of saying "im not gay"

sleep on it

dont ask a barber if you need a haircut

never go on stage and tell a 19 year old gilr who should have won for best video

IF YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS YOU AUTOMATICLLY WIN THE ARGUMENT

when life gives you melons you know your dyslexic

its considered a form of child abuse to give a child a mullet

duct tape cant fix relationships, but can make them more interesting

using the abbreviation"LOL" shoul not be used in a face to face conversation

every family has a creepy uncle, if you cant find yours, its your dad

mcdonalds is a job, not a career

if you dress like a slut you will be treated like one

theres "a tan" and thens theres orange

unibrows are never sexy,never

she can still get pregnant, yes, even if you do it that way

bananas only come in one color

taco bell is not authentic mexican food

dont refer to sex as "hammertime"

dont call friends by their user name in a face to face conversation

dont use the phrase "potato, potato, tomato, tamato" in writing it wont make sense

this tip violates the first rule of fight club