Wednesday, 23. January 2008, 18:28:55
Toshiko, Ianto, Owen and GwenIn case you need to take your mind off reality, BBC's official Torchwood site has some really fun in-character e-mails.
I've picked out some of my favorite bits.
WARNING: Contains some likely spoilers for season 2.From the official Torchwood homepage (no copyright infringement intended):
From: Cooper, Gwen
To: Owen
Subject: Wedding
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
Dear All
I overheard Tosh and Ianto talking the other day about what you were going to wear to my wedding. (I assume I wasn't supposed to hear that. For covert intelligence operatives, you lot can be about as subtle as Shirley Bassey sometimes.)
All I wanted to say was, I appreciate that it can be expensive and whatnot, going to weddings, and I don't expect a gift or for you necessarily to come. I won't be offended if you don't come. Really, I won't.
Gwen
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From: Harkness, Jack
To: Owen
Subject: Out of office auto reply: Re: Wedding
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
Thank you for your e-mail.
Captain Jack Harkness is out of the office. He will deal with your query if and when he returns. If your query is urgent, please contact Gwen Cooper.
Yours Faithfully
Torchwood Staff
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From: Harper, Owen
To: Ianto
Subject: Out of office rant
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
Ianto
I am still getting Jack's Out Of Office every time we send round a round robin.
I thought you were going to change it so it didn't do that.
SORT IT OUT IANTO
IANTO SORT IT OUT
cheers
Owen
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From: Jones, Ianto
To: Owen
Subject: Re: Out of office rant
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
Owen wrote:
> SORT IT OUT IANTO
> IANTO SORT IT OUT
While I'm doing that, would you also like me to set up your e-mail so that it automatically puts the word 'please' into your messages? As the effort of doing it yourself seems to be beyond you.
Ianto
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From: Harper, Owen
To: Ianto
Subject: Re: Out of office rant
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
Ianto wrote:
> While I'm doing that, would you also like me to set up your e-mail
> so that it automatically puts the word 'please' into your
> messages? As the effort of doing it yourself seems to be beyond you.
That would be blinding. Cheers
Owen
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From: Cooper, Gwen
To: Owen
Subject: Himalayas report
Date: Thursday 10th January 2008
Owen, weren't you going to write up a report of the Himalayas mission? No, in fact I'll rephrase that: Owen, you were going to write up a report of the Himalayas mission. And you haven't. Please do so. I need to file it with the MOD so we can get to the bottom of who sent us out there. Not holding out much hope, but it's worth a go.
Gwen
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From: Harper, Owen
To: Gwen
Subject: Himalayas report
Date: Tuesday 18th December 2007
The Himalayas report is written and filed under 'Time, Waste of'. Good luck with the MOD - I'm glad it's you dealing with that rubbish instead of me.
Owen
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From: Jones, Ianto
To: Gwen
Subject: Tourist board
Date: Monday 14th January 2008
Can you have a word with the Tourist Board? I'm trying to get hold of new brochures and leaflets for the dummy office (most of ours are from 2005) and they're being funny about sending me more than one of each. There used to be a lady at their office who sorted them out for me but she's on maternity leave.
Sorry about what I said earlier, by the way. There's no reason you should do everything Jack's way. You're here and he's not.
Ianto
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From: Sato, Toshiko
To: Gwen
Subject: Re: Wedding
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
I don't mind if you don't want us to come. It's your wedding.
Toshiko
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From: Cooper, Gwen
To: Toshiko
Subject: Re: Wedding
Date: Wednesday 16th January 2008
> I don't mind if you don't want us to come. It's your wedding.
No, no, it's not like that... sorry, I just wanted to say that if you'd find it awkward then I don't mind. Though actually I think it's me who's worried about it being awkward. Sorry. I'd love to have you there.
Gwen
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From: Jones, Ianto
To: Owen
Subject: Own Up!
Date: Wednesday 6th February 2008
Dear All
This morning I cleaned out the refrigerator. The following items were inside. Could the owners of these items please make themselves known. Any items not claimed by the end of the day will be disposed of.
* 1x energy drink (half-empty)
* 1x sparkling mineral water (half-empty, flat)
* 2x apples
* 1x pork pie
* 3x milk (actually just 1 now, I threw the others away)
* 1x tomato ketchup
* 1x leftover beef chow mein (probably inedible)
* 1x Cornish pasty
* 1x alien blood sample (OWEN I WARNED YOU ABOUT THIS)
* 4x probiotic yogurt drinks
* 2x salami snacks
Thank you for your kind attention.
Ianto
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From: Harper, Owen
To: Ianto
Subject: Re: Own Up!
Date: Wednesday 6th February 2008
The pie, the pasty and the salami snacks are mine. I reluctantly give my permission for you to throw out the chow mein. Are you sure that's an alien blood sample? I don't remember putting anything like that in there. Are you sure it's not that horrible soup that Gwen made?
Owen
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