Of All Things

Nothing much going on here
In a semi-comatose state
Dizzy fuzzy and right back down again
Self doubt self hate and paranoia
The most hateful of places
Nothing new to report on
Been in here for a very long time
Nothing much going on here

I know a man called Johnny
He is not very funny
Or jocular
A bully to his friends
A thief given chance
I knew Johnny in another life
Liked his ex-wife
One or two his pals
Child of the sixties
He will be sixty now
The man called Johnny
Is not worth punching now

I dare you, dont you?
Shall I?
The monkey on my back has returned again
He wants to my be my friend
Staying around as long as he can.

One of my neighbours has an interesting dilema. When is a son too old to run to his mother?

There is another resident along my road. He sometimes sleeps in his car on the drive and has been known to want to sleep in the garage. The chap concerned has not returned home as such. Turning up at his mothers home...yes, but one she has with her second husband after the first husband died many years ago. Admitedly he is having a bad time, his wife has kicked him out out of their shared home. Also she has got a restraining order out on him.

The big problem is drink. The man is an alchoholic.He is three stages or even less from walking the streets, this is sad. According to a family member he refuses help and his mother is in denial. So much that she sorted out bed and breakfast for him three nights ago and instead of accepting the assistance he arrived on her drive and slept in his car for a couple of hours, later he decided to argue the toss with her about sleeping in the ricketdy garage.

All very upsetting, all the more distressing when I impart the knowledge that she is 87 and he is in his mid-fifties. Once we add the houseband husband of the mother, things just get silly complicated.

There is no doubt it will end tears one way or another, on its own perhaps not remarkable in the scheme of things. My own thoughts for what they are worth...is that he has a problem and that is indeed sad. I must say that whilst alcohol addiction is a very large mountain to get over, that is without drawing an already aged couple into the abyss. I sincerely hope that he has touched the nadir and sees good sense and gets help. At eighty plus she is entitled to a little more respect.

My second night without the aid of a sleeping pill. My world is more focussed, alas a more fragile place. Disjointed rest does not really help an already delicate immune system. My legs and feet have decided not to ache away during day just giving me not so nice reminders that they are still there. I know that I talk about them in the third person (any budding brain meddlers out there. let me know what that is all about?) But sometimes they act independently.

A positive mindset is not always enough. So I get zapped with large amounts of nerve pain instead. Damn it!!!

However the world can still be a wonderful place, I understand that I am privileged to live in England and it has a green and abundant place on the globe. Also living in a village and coming from an urban upbringing I can understand the pressures within our Cities and Towns. Making a conscious effort to move away from multi-cultural life in the suburbs in my mid forties to get twenty or thirty years away from the pot, the pot that bubbles along with the lid not quite firmly on.

Maybe the world will potter on without the lid blowing off (although history has not taught us differently) I doubt it somehow. The agitators, the leaders and loudest voices forever take centre stage. These are people we all should be wary of. Regardless of your creed, colour or religion.

I am always wary of people who declare that they know plenty of (delete as applicable) Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Homosexuals etc and then start the next sentence however...

If you have prejudices, dislikes and an awkward point of view. Fine, people might not like it or respect, but it is normal human behaviour and as much as the politically or the religious correct of the world will try, they cannot alter human patterns of reacting.
They will never irradiate our intractable right to self expression (even it dwells at subconscious level)

Problems occur through rabble-rousing, subtle it isn’t, but humans tend to be pack animals and if it appeals to the pack suddenly they are a unit, something to belong to.
Much of the media (particularly the print media in the UK) plays on this emotion and turns it around when violence occurs and wants to appear the arbiter, the voice of reason in a seemingly mad world. When they have helped create the environment for hatred and bitterness to breed.

Being a football fan this is easily recognizable. A chant starts within the hard core of fans and spreads out across a stadium and then causes an adverse reaction within the rival supporters. The crossword of insults escalates, most in the arena think that was a bit of fun and leave the game without a second thought. A small band of home supporters and rival fans take things a little further and have a coming together near the Stadium. The police step in they also get attacked for trying to keep order and are accused of heavy handed tactics.

So the legend begins...everybody hates us.

Whilst we must care for ourselves, it must not be at the cost caring about what is happening in the world and most of all caring about our neighbours whoever they may be.