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I hold in my hand the very body of Christ Jesus himself! Or, that is, if you believe that the "real presence" of Jesus is somehow contained in a tasteless communion wafer:

So what, you say? One can buy communion wafers by the bagful if you know where to shop for it. But this one is different: it's consecrated! Yep, this poor wafer was blessed by, not one, not two, but three ministers! I attended service with my family this past sunday (still can't fully kick my church habit, I'm afraid). No special occasion, just your normal churchy stuff.

While I don't mind singing crappy religious songs (I was a church choir member myself), I draw the line at receiving communion. Something about ritually devouring the (symbolic) body of a once-living human being rubs me the wrong way. I may be a carnivore, but I'm no cannibal.

But this past sunday, my better judgement got the better of me and I found myself going towards the altar to receive "host". I had consumed communion wafers when I was a Christian (don't worry, you're not missing much). When it was my turn to eat Jesus, I faked eating the wafer but instead "palmed" it (thank you Penn and Teller!).

So now I have a consecrated communion wafer. What do I do with it? Sell it on eBay? Nah, it's just a plain wafer, no curvy lines that could be mistaken for a "virgin". Now that would've fetch me a pretty penny.

Maybe I can do an experiment. According to scriptures, God would not allow the body of the "Holy One to see corruption" (Psa 16:10, Act 2:27, Act 13:35). If this is true, then a consecrated host ought to be immune to molds and the like. Sounds like a Sacrilicious plan!