Compulsion And Urges Controlled...Or Not.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010 6:08:09 PM
"Oh my god! That hairstyle! It's both hideous, mishapen in the same way a rotten potato is and is actually defying the laws of all natural physics too! I don't know whether to drag that woman off to the salon to help her or ask her who her hairdresser is so that I can burn their ass with a hot curling iron until they learn never to do something like that to anyone ever again!"
(baffled blinking between thoughts)
"It's like a ball of cotton candy spray painted Howdy Doody orange! Bless her unfortunate heart!"
Now normally at a moment like this my most primal compulsion is to grab that poor orange q-tip haired lady by the hand and guide her to a more civil display follicle gifts. But instead what I'm going to do in reality is just sit there and I try not to let my eyeballs burn out of my skull with something so horrible to look at.
Reality checked, compulsion tucked away.
My husband also knows better then to let me walk within 12 feet of any place that sells candles, because I am instantly overwhelmed with a urge to smell everyone of them. I have walked away with huge headaches from this but also with a wider sense of amazement that anyone can make a candle that smells exactly like fresh cut grass.
He also teases me about my compulsion to make sure all my food isn't touching on my plate the moment it is placed in front of me. Anyone who shares this issue already knows that the fork is the preferred tool for such tasks.
There is something rather disruptive to one's Fung Shui when gravy has run into your corn or coleslaw.
It drives me crazy that I have to go back and check and see if I locked the car everytime I exit it.
And I think years of training in a salon that I once worked at and that carried every product known to man that we had to make sure were displayed perfectly aligned, has branded my fingers with the urge to straighten the labels forward on rows of nail polish in displays at beauty supply stores. What is sort of funny is that everytime a employee of the place catches me doing this they usually laugh and say that some other hairdresser was doing that the other day.
Often I wonder if it was just me they were remembering.
I'm not a particularly tidy or controlling woman. It's just that some crap bugs me! It's like the hamster that is running on the wheel in my head that powers my brain suddenly trips and flies off the track until I can fix the offending thing.
Poor hamster...he's getting rather gimpy!
I also have a compulsion to avoid parking turning left if I can help it. I never remember this one until I am faced with the problem of parking closer to the build but left, or driving back around until I can find a suitable right turn parking spot that is most likely a mile away from the door. My discussion with my husband about this problem usually goes like this:
"Hey walking is good for you. Every step counts!"
He doesn't get mad, he just thinks it's funny.
I have to fight to resist the urge to rearrange all the condiments on a restaurant table because I would hate to think I walked this world being totally owned by salt and pepper shakers. But at least I can take some relief that other people do this as well because I spot them doing it all the time.
Anyone out there have urges that they cannot avoid? One's that you have conquered yet?