Quick, Someone Distract Me!
Thursday, 29. October 2009, 06:01:27
I can't sleep. Or I don't want to. I don't know. I just don't want to let me alone with me for now.
So I was thinking, let's cheer me up.
Sounds like an excellent plan! I watched "Blades of Glory" with Will Ferrel earlier. Dumb, but funny and it made me giggle.
So quick, someone.... tell me a joke! Hurry!
While you are thinking of one, I have one for you!
Ready?
Here it is:
What do you call a BEE that gives MILK?
(down further)
Answer: Boo-Bees!
Ok that's the only one I can think of and I don't even remember where I got it from.
(0%)
WIDGETIZE
Gavin Sheedy # 29. October 2009, 06:13
Have you tried warm milk and cookies? Or a very boring book? Sleeping gas?
Henry # 29. October 2009, 06:31
"A man and a woman living in a seniors residence took a liking to one another, and after a couple of walks together and lunches, he asked her to marry him. She said yes.
The next morning, though, he couldn't remember what her answer had been, so he phoned her.
'Good morning, dear,' he said.
'My memory is playing tricks on me lately, and I can't remember if your answer was yes or no when I asked you to marry me.'
'I'm so glad you called,' she replied. 'I said yes, but I just couldn't remember who had asked me!'"
Gavin Sheedy # 29. October 2009, 07:37
Lu # 29. October 2009, 10:58
I only know dirty jokes (shocking i know) and i'm not sure your pure ears should hear them
Kitty # 29. October 2009, 12:19
Listen up...
I was supposed to go out with this guy on Friday night. On Friday afternoon he called and said that he didn't think it was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends. So I hung up and called him back. He was like, "Hello?" I said, "Hey, friend, it's me. Want to hear what this jerk just did?"
Gavin Sheedy # 29. October 2009, 12:27
Hermitess # 29. October 2009, 13:52
Strangely, as soon as I wrote this post last night I got sleepy and went to sleep straight away. yay!
Great job everyone! Laughs are much needed and much enjoyed.
Henry # 29. October 2009, 14:44
Wow! That was so quick!
Hermitess # 29. October 2009, 17:40
You go kitty!
moira # 29. October 2009, 19:06
Next time I`m wide awake in the wee small hours I will come here and leave you a wee joke
The you will know I`ve had a sleepless night again
Hermitess # 29. October 2009, 20:58
Henry # 29. October 2009, 21:41
moira # 29. October 2009, 23:03
Originally posted by SpicyFlier:
Yes Henry, and thank you so much. It means a lot
Originally posted by Hermitess:
Watch this space
Lu # 30. October 2009, 00:38
Gavin Sheedy # 30. October 2009, 07:07
Hermitess # 30. October 2009, 07:42
What is up with that?
That's hilarious!
r♡se # 30. October 2009, 17:57
I'm afraid most of my jokes are verging on a bit dirty too...
Lu # 30. October 2009, 18:00
r♡se # 30. October 2009, 18:04
Hermitess # 30. October 2009, 20:54
Gavin Sheedy # 30. October 2009, 20:57
moira # 2. November 2009, 22:22
Guess?
Keep Guessing?
Buy a deck of cards.
Hermitess # 2. November 2009, 22:44
Lu # 1. December 2009, 17:45
Headache Cure:
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "i have a headache".
"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with asprin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you."
Gavin Sheedy # 1. December 2009, 20:48
Kitty # 1. December 2009, 21:11
Lu # 1. December 2009, 21:25
Pasta Watch:
Maria had just got married and, being a traditional italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her: "Don't worry Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went.
When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
"Mama, Mama. Tony's got a big hairy chest!"
"Dont worry Maria" says the mother. "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So up she went again.
When she got up to the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, she ran downstairs to her mother.
"Mama, Mama. Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs."
"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man." So up she went again.
When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
"Mama, Mama. Tony's only got a foot-and-a-half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta," says mother...
"This is a job for Mama!"
moira # 2. December 2009, 00:35
What do you call a man and a woman fishing???
Rod and Annet
Hermitess # 2. December 2009, 06:14
Moira silly but cute!
Gavin Sheedy # 2. December 2009, 11:29
Originally posted by lixxylu: