My OperaNext
Monday, September 13, 2010 1:47:27 PM
During my all life, I have always been thinking I was an artist. An I still think I am the real thing.
But in one of the last books I read, I found a strange hint: my own drawings seems to be all symbols, all like children's drawings (the house with the triangualr roof, the pole-like tree, the pyramidal mountains etc) but evolved in years.
Then I read that people likes to see, in art, something they already know.
So, I ask myself if I have to start drawing all still-life and basket of fruit pictures... instead of my thousand worlds full of me... or full of what I think I am.
I'm far, very far from the real world.
I see dirty things coming up like they're good an positive ones, and friends ask you: what's wrong with it?
What's wrong with a show where everyone is shouting and saying bad things, in the very time you're eating your dinner?
What's wrong with someone who makes graffiti on Mona Lisa?
What's wrong with a pretty girl who sings a song with a serie of horrible burps?
What's wrong with a stupid T-Shirt who says the REAL love is only in poets' lines?
It's not fun, it's a mess, a damned mess.
I'm feared of a world like this. So I try to be out of it, if I can.
But it's not always possible, and, to say more, it does not fit to art.
An artist is supposed to be in his/her time, in his/her world; is supposed to be a sorta of scale for the temperature of the world. An artist is supposed to be IN his/her world's culture.
I feel I'm not.
Since I was very very little, I thought I had to mantain the childish features of sincere talking and of Fantasy.
Having no masters and almost no good teachers, I find myself having a fate, since I had decided I did not want to grow up.
Now I'm trying to see the world again, so I started copying from the real world (my room, photos, real things).
So, have I to draw all pears and apple and forget my all worlds?
No. I don't think so.
But this way, so new for me, it's the normal way of all artists, full-grown up and always in Galleries.
I'll put my new exercises here in my albums, but I think they're not art, only exercises.
Then, I'll read again Betty Edwards's book, to find other hints and see if I can have an evolution...
But in one of the last books I read, I found a strange hint: my own drawings seems to be all symbols, all like children's drawings (the house with the triangualr roof, the pole-like tree, the pyramidal mountains etc) but evolved in years.
Then I read that people likes to see, in art, something they already know.
So, I ask myself if I have to start drawing all still-life and basket of fruit pictures... instead of my thousand worlds full of me... or full of what I think I am.
I'm far, very far from the real world.
I see dirty things coming up like they're good an positive ones, and friends ask you: what's wrong with it?
What's wrong with a show where everyone is shouting and saying bad things, in the very time you're eating your dinner?
What's wrong with someone who makes graffiti on Mona Lisa?
What's wrong with a pretty girl who sings a song with a serie of horrible burps?
What's wrong with a stupid T-Shirt who says the REAL love is only in poets' lines?
It's not fun, it's a mess, a damned mess.
I'm feared of a world like this. So I try to be out of it, if I can.
But it's not always possible, and, to say more, it does not fit to art.
An artist is supposed to be in his/her time, in his/her world; is supposed to be a sorta of scale for the temperature of the world. An artist is supposed to be IN his/her world's culture.
I feel I'm not.
Since I was very very little, I thought I had to mantain the childish features of sincere talking and of Fantasy.
Having no masters and almost no good teachers, I find myself having a fate, since I had decided I did not want to grow up.
Now I'm trying to see the world again, so I started copying from the real world (my room, photos, real things).
So, have I to draw all pears and apple and forget my all worlds?
No. I don't think so.
But this way, so new for me, it's the normal way of all artists, full-grown up and always in Galleries.
I'll put my new exercises here in my albums, but I think they're not art, only exercises.
Then, I'll read again Betty Edwards's book, to find other hints and see if I can have an evolution...
der WandersmannderWandersmann # Monday, September 13, 2010 3:53:29 PM
Abbracci, mia cara!
scott cummingI_ArtMan # Monday, September 13, 2010 10:58:58 PM
i was looking at turner's sketchbooks at the tate gallery. hundreds of them. to be a real artist we must work very very hard. but always questioning my point of view and what is driving me. is it beauty? then paint beauty. is it ideas then use symbols and allegories.
don't lose heart, just draw draw draw, then when you need the skill it will be there.
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Tuesday, September 14, 2010 11:51:26 AM
As I said, my problem is I have no masters, so, there's not a path I can follow. I'm like a mad scientist with his experiments...
...or like a girl lost in perfect black, where she has to find things, touching them, without a light... then she has to stop everytime she finds something. Is it good? Is it bad? She has to touch it, she does not see it.
A master can be a light, can say what's best for me, how long I can touch a thing...
I'm without a light, so, now, I run in the familiar dark, after 1000 blows of my head in corners.
Now my instinct says me to copy, to see the world in a new way... to open my mind a bit, in a different direction... the direction that's normal for all the world.
Being almost alone for all summer helped me to see better, to have a more clear sight.
Now I hope this will be a good evolution, not a dead end...
I'll go on with my drawings, even if I'm almost hopeless... I'm nobody, in reality...
They say that if you want to grow up, you have to abhandon all your childhood heroes; well, my heroes are always there.
I think I can grow up, without lettin' them go, if I need them near.
I want to mantain these features, even if they're hardly appreciated.
The fact is I'm outta world...I'd like to be a famous artist, but if I create not 'popular' things... how should I do?
I follow my own path, crossing in strange lines other people's life... and I hope I'll be able to stay calm and to not become mad, during this journey...
I think I can draw anything I see, but I see more when I dream...
scott cummingI_ArtMan # Tuesday, September 14, 2010 7:57:46 PM
Originally posted by Hirpina81:
the question is how to reconcile two different natures, two different visions within one being. feed both and know one from the other.
and of course... follow your dream. grow something up but not everything.
shall i paint with my ego or my essence?
content is the most difficult. what am i trying to say? what is my unconscious trying to let out into the open?
keep looking in the dark. that's where the secrets hide.
Pineas2 # Friday, September 17, 2010 8:30:31 AM
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Monday, September 20, 2010 9:12:42 AM
It bores me...
I know my 'dark' side better than the real and 'clear' world... I'm trying to put together both of them, and create a style, a new style, one that won't be only manga or only a copy.
My dream is to create a photo-like drawing, where angels and fairies, devils and monsters seem to be real and picked up from the streets...
I also have to create a better vocabulary, new words; add to my childish symbols new things... new contents... new ways to say my deep thoughts...
An original line reckonizable as only mine.
My ego and my essence... oh... is there any difference? I'm not joking. I learned by myself and I am always alone. So, nobody told me what's the difference. Could you put a light on it?
Thank you
Pineas2 # Monday, September 20, 2010 10:39:00 AM
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Tuesday, September 21, 2010 9:11:31 AM
Pineas2 # Tuesday, September 21, 2010 9:39:09 AM
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Thursday, September 23, 2010 12:30:54 PM
I fear more normal people... I can deal better with monsters...
Pineas2 # Thursday, September 23, 2010 2:11:15 PM
Where is the difference? We are all monsters.
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Monday, September 27, 2010 12:13:08 PM
The real ones pretend they are not, and they do it very badly.
Si fa un gran parlare di amore e di intelligenza, di sincerità del fanciullino interiore.
Ma poi la gente brinda al sesso e non all'amore (che può comprendere questo ed altro); per strada se sei un tantino diverso ti scansano; si riempiono la bocca di "io odio i razzisti", ma al primo intoppo, tutti scappano.
You can hear a lot about the power of love and the great value of smart people, about sincerity and truth and your inner child.
But you see people making toast to sex and not to love (love could be also sex, does not?); if you're a bit different, they run away from you, and you live alone, as an hermit; you hear people saying "I hate racism", but if you're a bit too hard to understand, you're left alone again.
Il grottesco e il cattivo gusto sono diventati la normalità, ed ora devo temere che alla laurea dei matti piombino su di me e mi facciano degli scherzi umilianti, solo perché lo trovano divertente e normale.
Grotesque and bad taste seem to be the normal way of life; I have to fear the day of my degree some people will come on me to use me for their stupid and damaging tricks, only because they find it normal and fun.
Quando tratti la gente da pari, dicono che sei maleducato; poi se ne approfittano se cedi troppo, e alla fine dicono che era colpa tua, che ti sei fatto mettere i piedi in testa.
If you face your neighbour as a your equal, they say you're not well-mannered; then they use you if you give them more space, and at the end they say it's your fault, you are the one who has to watch his back.
Pineas2 # Monday, September 27, 2010 1:17:06 PM
There is a reason for my avatar being this green alien.
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Monday, September 27, 2010 1:53:46 PM
You can learn from everybody, but the danger is that
with good ones, bad things pass, without being aware of it.
So, in spite of finding horrible memories in my mind, already stuffed with enough garbage, I do prefer stay alone, far from the crowd. But it's not easy to live like this, isn't it?
der WandersmannderWandersmann # Thursday, November 18, 2010 10:56:53 PM
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Friday, November 19, 2010 3:38:54 PM
scott cummingI_ArtMan # Tuesday, November 23, 2010 12:26:56 AM
Originally posted by Hirpina81:
that's it. you have to 'see' the difference. the two are dancing together and we can't discriminate that one is one way and the other is a different way. one wants and the other wishes... and there is a difference between what drives us to growth and what merely aggrandizes our illusions. what do we really do from our inner lives? mostly i am driven by outer things.
der WandersmannderWandersmann # Tuesday, November 23, 2010 3:50:28 AM
I have seen it in you, as you have noticed, and I have tried to give you an idea of it, but these things are tenuous at best. "Through a glass, darkly", Paul says, and the expression suits the phenomenon exactly, though we speak not of what he wrote. The best I can tell you is that you are on the path and that I have no doubt that you will know, more and more exactly.
Not too helpful, was it? LOL
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Tuesday, November 23, 2010 2:18:26 PM
My own main world is not the real one, you know, is my inner one; all is in a far background, and I make all I can to let it stay away from me.
The fact is I feel too fragile to face all this mess I see, so, I can fight, create, work and live... but when I see a backdoor, a detour or a hole to escape, I run away, to have a break and to take a breath.
Once, few days ago, my friend asked me what my wishes are... I could not give her a good answer: I find myself with no wishes; my thoughts are not connected to the real world, where I see only closed doors.
My faith is broken, my heart became small and icy. The only way I see to survive is only going on with drawings and the lost hope to become as good as academic students... all alone, my and a leaf of paper... as ever.
Ekaterinalavender988 # Sunday, January 2, 2011 6:37:37 PM
Marcella EmmaHirpina81 # Thursday, January 6, 2011 12:25:59 AM
Now evn my inpiration are changing... a lot of things are messed up in this very moment, but I don't stop doing what I think I was born for.
A guy I'm in touch with said I'm lika blossom that does not want to take its way to become a flower. Well, with all things I know, I don't think it would be safe to be to 'grow up' that way.
Deeper and deeper roots I think would be better to me.
Best wishes for this new year, and hold on!
Ekaterinalavender988 # Thursday, January 6, 2011 6:07:44 PM
I wish you happiness and prosperity in this year! You are very talented!!!REmember it!!