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early life two

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suddenly, we hit the curb and went flying into the lake.
it was pouring rain and my carfull of band members were stunned for a minute. then we all bailed out at once into the water. the car we called the "pink bomb" was stuck halfway into the mud.

like this only pink.


the first thing you always say when you're fifteen years old with no driver's license is "my father is going to kill me." but it wasn't my fault; it was the rain, it was the music full blast on the radio and the noisy gang in the car, it was the beer. i only had two beers (but i skipped sleeping the night before so it was my second day.) no it was definitely the roads fault, the way it came perpendicular to the lake. it was so irrevocablely there.

well, we were lucky, i did see a tree on each side of the car as we sailed between them.

we lived in a big old white house with verandas all around, right on a swampy lake in a dense wood of sprawling ancient live oak trees. the enormous canopy of writhing branches were covered with spanish moss. it was dank and dark. that was the style of the old south in central florida... stay out of the sun. it'll boil your brain.

but it was home. i painted the big wall in my room with golden jazz instruments against a black night. i sprayed the giant letters JAZZ across it all. there were posters on other walls and paintings of broadway and framed water colors of disney characters, mostly uncle remus characters i loved. but mickey was there and donald. i had changed my name from scott to donald, and signed everything donald cumming or d. cumming.

bob said i could stay home to paint, and i did. but my father had one condition... that i join some youth group so i would be in touch with kids my age and not isolate too much. so i joined a boys club at the unitarian church.

christopher west was a virgo like me, a year older. he was a garrulous guy and befriended me immediately. we met after church discussions at his friend's garage where they had a band and would practice while i sketched. but the best part of our gatherings was the 'bullshit sessions' when we argued and expounded on the usual subjects; god, art, anarchist politics, literature etc..

chris and i were both great talkers and thought we knew everything. we were constantly interrupting each other to spit out some genius idea before we forgot it.

chris had a mother, anita, who often cooked dinner for us. their house became my 'home away from home'.
the sun room, a screened in porch, became my studio, (north light). i began a magnum opus protest against materialism and war, which i truly detested, and called it "progress". (somewhere at that time chris and i and bobby 'ran away' to key west to work on a shrimp boat and bob and anita met. bob never worried about us but he was there to comfort anita.)

we were all back again in a couple of weeks and first chris, then bobby went off to mexico city to go to college there. bob used to pick me up after a day in winter park at my 'studio'. anita had another son named eric and he had captured thirteen rattlesnakes behind the house. they were all caged in the sun room. eric was going to be a herpetologist. he was thirteen.

one night my father came to pick me up after work in the pink bomb; the same car i had wrecked twice.
the first time wasn't my fault either. i was on my way to church sunday morning and there were cars parked on both sides of the street. a car was coming at me and i got as far to the right as i could scraping my right side and still scraped the other car on my left. that car just ploughed along as helplessly as i did. i was trying to shrink the car with my mind, but it didn't work that time.

that night that my father came to get me the car wouldn't start so we stayed for dinner. he and anita were getting along fine, even famously. no, remarkably happily getting to know each other. it seems they were made for each other. her father was a physicist. both her parents were college professors and anita had even bounced on einstein's knee as a child. she graduated from college at 18. after a bad marriage, she was, like my father, raising two boys alone. to make a long story shorter, we stayed overnight. the next morning bob came out of anita's bedroom whistling a happy tune.

so you see, by obeying my father, i found him a wife. and more. through anita i was to meet robert l. anderson, a fine artist. anderson graduated from the ringling school in sarasota on the g.i. bill.
he was an eagle scout, order of the arrow, and when world war II began he enlisted and became a scout in the marines. he had been blown up three times. twice in italy and once in the pacific.
but he survived minus a leg and half a foot and became a very successful artist.

how scott became famous real fast...


now, with my eyes skinned of illusions through the edifying dialogues and forums of my peers, i settled into a routine of working on my opus. five by five feet, on canvas, it required hundreds of drawings. they had to be first traced and then transferred using thirty-five sheets of carbon paper.
one day bob anderson came to the house and when he saw "progress" in the making,

damn, i have to go... appointment at the eye doctor. i'll be back. sorry, i had hoped i could finish this leg of my story in one post.


i'm back finally, i was looking for one drawing in particular to further illustrate this history.

anderson lived with his wife, june, and seven children in an old farmhouse outside of town. he came to our house one day and when he saw the 'opus' i was working on, he volunteered to teach me. at first he gave me the barn to work in but eventually, i gravitated, or should i say ascended to the large attic in the house.

sometimes we worked together in and i would watch him paint. he taught me to draw big and more loosely.
my teacher was an established fine artist and taught the techniques of the renaissance masters; chiaroscurro, impasto and glazing. he said "first learn the rules and after many many years break them if you must."

around christmas that year i finished my 'protest', or "progress", my allegorical 'masterpiece', i thought. i told the 'master' it was finished. we stood together gazing at my work. he spoke... "i was waiting until you finished to tell you what i thought about this. although it is a strenous work and shows me that you show great promise..." and then he spoke so vehemently he scared me, "this this, monstrosity" and mincing no words, and even cruelly proceeded to tear it apart verbally, pointing out all it's flaws. my pride and joy that i had worked on for almost a year was now dead in the water.

on cold nights we sat by the open fireplace drinking heady red wine and argued about art and god and war and literature. i had already read my father's library, my mother's books, books my brother, who was a genius at finding great books which were new but obscure; like the evergreen review and grove press books, city lights and the beat poets. we read cousteau and other underwater books, kon tiki and books about sailing around the world in an 18 foot sailboat. plus, i had scoured the libraries with an infallible nose for the best. and now bob anderson is steering me into a whole new realm of philosophy and aesthetics. remember, i'm not sixteen yet.

now i must digress a bit and fit in a little tale which will elucidate my fall from grace. or, how i first tasted the forbidden fruit of the flesh and became a felon at the tender age of 15.

i was happy as a lark drawing everything and everyone every day and painting at night in my garret. i had just completed a large painting that anderson avowed "i wish i had thought of that." that was "the lovers". he had allowed me to borrow his nude model and take her up to my attic lair to pose for it. (but i put the head of the anderson's sixteen year old babysitter who i was sickeningly in love with on the model's body in the painting. strange, eh?

bob's oldest boy was ten and the youngest was not quite two. the rest were girls from five to thirteen. they all took turns posing for me. pattywack, his nickname, was a messy terror and robbie was jealous of the attention i got from his father. all the girls loved me, and i loved them an awful lot. they were always jumping on me or cuddling by the fire or the television. often, after stories in bed with barbara, who said, "will you marry me someday?" and ann who was eight, i would fall asleep between them.





chris and bobby had just got back from mexico. bobby and i took a walk down the grassy slope to the lake. he recounted some of his adventures; how he and his friends ran naked on the beach south of acapulco. he painted a beautiful picture in my mind of his famous girlfriend there, "mary mary" who everone wanted to be with. it was said that she was like the 'botticelli venus'. he told me about marijuana which made you smarter and wittier and augmented the sensation of all enjoyments.

i, in all innocense, countered with "well, any chemical youput into your body from the outside is o.k. for its one time effects but when it wears off, there you are again, a lump of bored and boring flesh." i think i speculated on mastering my own organism to produce similar chemico-physico-psychic possibilites naturally.

now all his friends had left mexico for new york city. and i, even after saying what i said, took off, leaving my work and my happy life to try my hand at marijuana and the bohemian life. i had names; mary mary, 'doc' stanley, turk le clair, bob milo, teragoo, known as oogoorat, and john brent. and i had the name of a coffee house on mcdougal street, in greewich village, the 'avante garde' heath of the city.

i went straight to the "commons". you had to go down a long dark hall to the end where there was a door but no sign and a tiny window. i had to hit on a name the guy on the other side would know so i tried "i'm a friend of bob milo." it turned out it was bob milo himself. he let me in. they hadn't opened yet. it was still early morning.

milo remembered bobby very well (he was something of a mascot for these older guys) bobby was beautiful with long wavy blond hair and as wild and jubilant as any son of dionysius and was loved by all.
milo took me back into the kitchen. he lit up an enormous bowlfull of 'pot' in a standard tobacco pipe. pot was abundant in those days and cheap.

milo was about 30 and a handsome slim mediteranean type; a man of the world. i trusted him instictively. but after a couple of tokes on that pipe i experienced what they call 'dracula's nightmares'. i suddenly felt threatened . i imagined he was coming towards me with a needle to get me hooked on heroin. i was terrified and shrank back into a corner. i slipped slowly to the ground. i must have been staring at him with a terrified grimace. milo stayed cool, didn't seem surprised.
and just as suddenly as it had come over me my fear subsided. i began to feel kind of silly and sheepish.

we went back into the main room. there were blue and orange globe lights hanging in two rows from the ceiling and bared brick walls. the lights went to the back door which emptied out onto minetta lane; a windy cobbled alley of quaint ground floor apartments and the service entrances of a few restaurants.

i'm not kidding i floated in slow motion between the tables to the open door and settled on the three risers where little morning birds flitted around. milo left me alone. i must have sat there for hours. i came down and i was hungry and penniless. i went to some stores and galleries trying to sell some drawings. finally i broke down and panhandled for a while near the park.

back at the commons i met doc stanley and mary mary. they took care of me. 'doc' had an apartment a block away on bleecker st. where live jazz filtered into the window all night long.

about a week later, when i knew my way around, i was washing dishes at the cafe "wha?" and i had already been 'burned' by turk for an ounce of pot (he just never came back)someone turned me on to dexidrene which makes work so easy. turk was almost the widest of the longhairs. teragoo was by far the most out of it madman i ever met. he looked almost tibetan. teragoo died young. so did the youngest poet i ever met... so young he had blond peach fuzz on his cheeks and upper lip. the italians hated him because all their girls loved him and would hang out at the commons where he did a few sets each night and then mary travers would sing or one of the many other folk singers.

milo was painting the stairway walls down to the cafe "why not?"; and i mean painting; they were like cro magnon cave paintings. we shared a couple of joints. i watched while he painted a beautiful cerulean horse bigger than life on the wall facing the base of the steps. milo made turk return my money that day, saying, "we don't burn our own people man." turk shrugged, handed me my money and split.

then i had a heart to heart conversation with mary mary on the back steps of the commons in the morning before opening. i was off work that day and would hang out listening to the poets sketching and sipping coffee all night.

when i confessed that i had never made love to a woman she was very nice about it. i was afraid she sould just drop me if i told her. mary was so beautiful... she took my hand and led me to one of the basement apartments down the winding lane. "come here at eleven."
i did, and she did, and we did.

next chapter... how i became a felon at 15.

sorry i left so much out. this is hard.

pushing paint around stillmary mary and the sidewalk arts festival

Comments

Angeliki 17. November 2008, 23:40

I hope the eye-doctor gives you
good news today,
this is the first follow up ,
isn't it ??
:heart:
I read the story and even knowing a 90% of it already ,
it did not take away any of the excitement !
I love every moment of it!Anita knew a good thing right away! please give us some more of it!

Jonathan looks so much like you !your picture above and his picture have an expression that is so similar!!!
Where is Chris these days???

:heart:

scott cumming 18. November 2008, 01:33

well, meli, i'm having fun with it and it's a nice lazy way to share my life... :smile: right now i am a little blurry so i'll wait till tomorrow to carry on. the doc put some drops into my eyes the better to study them. i just drove all the way home underwater... luckily, all the 'fish' were lamprays. :heart:

chris built an adobe hacienda near taos new mexico.

i'm going to take a nap because i have to go out again... maybe that will help my eyes. one thing great is the screen seems a lot brighter.

thanks for stopping in. :happy:

Angeliki 18. November 2008, 01:47

I know all about the drops!
I am surprised you were able to type the update and I am very thankful for it!!!
talk to you later :heart:

Léazz 18. November 2008, 03:41

:smile:

Allan 18. November 2008, 08:18

Nice. Then we, your avid readers, will still have something to look forward to ....

scott cumming 19. November 2008, 02:22

i added the rest. somebody stop me :faint:

Angeliki 19. November 2008, 02:55

:heart:
not me! :lol: you know I will end up asking for more ....

Angeliki 19. November 2008, 03:17

oh this is getting better and better!!!!!
so you are in the big city with the big sharks... did you ever think of going back to your father??

Akamu 19. November 2008, 03:25

Nope. We're gonna force you to talk.

scott cumming 19. November 2008, 03:47

please wait... i'm getting to that meli... don't worry, i'm working on the next chapter. opera isn't helping at all. with this new change i can't post pictures either way. so i started a new album.

akamu ya have ta catch me first. :lol:

did youlose your profile picture too meli? :heart: i tried to upload another one but it still doesn't show. i wish they would stop improving things so they are worse. :irked:

Akamu 19. November 2008, 04:02

My profile picture comes and goes, by the way. I tried re uploading it but it wasn't working. So much for the new fix.

scott cumming 19. November 2008, 04:08


akamu,
now they have new kinds of problems. at least i got around the no upload pictures error. finally. never give up, even if it takes hours. :happy:

Léazz 19. November 2008, 04:29

My pix gone too, uploaded dozen of times but nope it refuse to accept :cry:

B. Mazumder 19. November 2008, 09:26

how can you do this?!!
no seriously, how?!

i have no words i can just say "wonderful!".

Wakajawaka 19. November 2008, 13:55

Excellent!!

Waiting for the next instalment :smile::smile:

Akasha 19. November 2008, 21:30

I loved reading your story. I could imagine everything so clearly. It's so nice to have a novel to read which is written chapter by chapter by a talented author like you. I am looking forward to reading the rest of "CHALLENGES OF SCOUT, THE ARTIST". I have made a name for the story in my mind :lol: Keep going! Good luck!

Angeliki 19. November 2008, 22:51

meli,
I am just waiting for my "fatsa" to come up again ! if not I will wait another day or so before I add another sexy Hollywood lady :smile:

I am planning to come back for my "read treat", I want to finish everybody else and then kick my high heels off grab my wine and start the reading (if you only knew how many questions I have ! :lol: I am holding myself and I promise not to move too fast with extra questions! :heart: )

Angeliki 19. November 2008, 22:51

pS nice Avatar,
you know this is my favorite :heart:

Angeliki 19. November 2008, 23:35

:lol:


I came back as I promised!!!
now I know I am like a child waiting outside a candy store to open!!! I did read all before,
but I am making notes now....darn it meli you leave out many things that burn my curiosity! :lol:

scott cumming 20. November 2008, 00:27

b.,
glad you could come. i hope i can keep it up :up:

waka,
glad you are enjoying my little histoire. :smile:

akasha,
glad to have you as a reader. i hope it continues to entertain you. :happy:

meli, :heart:
glad your 'fatsa' came back. sve your questions unless you can't help it. because all will be revealed. :cool: i knew that was your favorite... you like a strong man... i know. photos are always partially lies. you did come again... and quickly. i promise to start the next chapter with what you most want to know.

Angeliki 20. November 2008, 01:34

:lol:

please do!

Eliane a/k/a Elly 20. November 2008, 13:57

So very brave for one so young.

Did these people know what your age was?

I can't fathom how drugs and wine could be so easily given to you!!!

How old was your father?

PainterWoman 20. November 2008, 16:09

Scott, I had some considerable catching up to do on Opera once I got back from my visit to North Dakota. It was a lovely trip but cold, averaging in the 20's and low 30's during the day. I'm glad to be back in Arizona and warm again.

Only thing is, I've had to go through my large garbage and recycle bins to check whatever my son and his wife threw out. They were to take care of my dogs but decided to also rearrange my furniture, clean and get rid of clutter. You wouldn't believe the things I retrieved from these dumpsters. My neighbors must have thought I was the crazy lady diving in her own dumpsters. I found a 100 yr old pink glass dish on the bottom. It had been my mother's mother's dish to go on top of a dressing table. Luckily it was not broken. One recycle was already picked up on Monday, the day before I got back. Who knows what was in there.

Your last few posts of your life and art have been wonderful reading. Have enjoyed them very much and have made me forget the bad mood I've been in. I'm rarely in a bad mood and don't like the feeling...coupled with quitting smoking. It's been 8 days....or is it nine. I forget.

Your stories and art should be in print in bookstores. It makes for very interesting reading, visually and mentally.

I, too, am aghast at how readily available drugs and alcohol are to kids. My son is now almost 40 but he had problems since the age of 12. He told me he and his friends would stand by a Circle K and wait for a construction worker or some other guy and hand them money to buy booze. A few refused but, more often than not, they'd buy the booze and cigs for them. One of his teachers used to drink from a flask during class. The parents of one of his friends had a steady stash of maryjane. It's all out there for easy pickens for the innocent to become not so innocent.

Babs 22. November 2008, 07:55

I've been busy reading and enjoying the stories. I'm a bit behind since since finals are getting closer. The next two weeks are going to be busy. Can't wait to see what's you put up next. Take care of those eyes. :heart:

Edward Piercy 22. November 2008, 23:45

There's a poem by Willis Barnstone entitled "All the Windows of the House Are Open." That's what your narrative reminded me of.


Pink cars. Why are there no pink cars anymore? What has changed...that it would drive pink out of the spectrum?

scott cumming 23. November 2008, 01:16

meli, :heart: i did, as you saw.

mom,
when you're fifteen you don't tell your real age. you say, 18. sure i have a baby face. bob was 42 around then. and it's not that it's easy or hard to get stimulants, it's just that things happen. :smile:

pam, thanks for the nice long comment. :smile:
you're not supposed to throw other people's stuff away... i'm glad to hear you recovered some of it. i hope you continue to be amused by my adventures. i am sticking to exactly what happened as well as i can remember.

babs, thanks for the wish for my eyes. these posts are not going anywhere so take your time. school comes first. :cool:

ed, pink was the rage for a while... but you're right, you don't see them anymore. all the windows of my house are open. i've even said recently to an aquantance, "my life is an open book." thanks for commenting.

here's the link to back issues:
http://my.opera.com/I_ArtMan/blog/2008/11/12/runaway-cronicles

Angeliki 23. November 2008, 01:41

you sure did meli and I am hanging around and following you already for the next one!!!
in love

scott cumming 23. November 2008, 02:12

meli meli meli, hold your horses. :lol:

just so you don't bite your fingernails... i can tell you for sure that i won't get to the next installment until tuesday. and then not type it until wednesday... coming into the home stretch of the linoleum cut christmas and seasonal card project.... busy busy busy. but that's good for me. :heart: have a lovely sunday.

Angeliki 23. November 2008, 02:17

you too meli!
have fun with your projects!
you are always handy! :smile:
when on a break have a drink on me!!
(you can tell I couldn't wait to add this one! ) :lol:

Coors LT babe

Eliane a/k/a Elly 25. November 2008, 18:36

Yeah, of course you lied about your age. Gosh, your father was young, too...

In other words, they never knew your real age.

So, you took after your grandfather who also took off as a teen to earn his fortune. My yiayia used to say that such "running away" was in the blood of certain individuals, they couldn't help it.

Was it that way with you? You just had to get away and experience life?

Eliane a/k/a Elly 25. November 2008, 18:39

Oh, I meant to tell you, your Fool painting is really great. Is it meant to be a giant Tarot card? It is really super cool.

When you painted it, did you meditate on it's meaning?

Will you ever paint the whole set?

Did this painting help you define yourself; do all your paintings do this?

scott cumming 25. November 2008, 19:20

yes yes yes yes and yes. :lol:

i started the tarot deck in 1963 with the magician. yes, i meditated on the meaning. the fool is a favorite of mine and i've done it twice.

i am tempted to agree about the gene for "can't wait to be on your own". especially since genes often skip a generation.
also, interesting, and for the record. after i packed my suitcase and it was already getting dark, i remember listening to one cautious inner voice, saying to me "don't do it." but since it felt like fear, i dismissed it.
and then another one... i smelled my father's suits and almost canceled my departure. i didn't want to leave and miss him. i dismissed that as 'attachment'.

all paintings are reflections in my mind and lead me to understand more; not to know more but just get a little closer to the motors and levers and cogs which drive me without my consciousness or will. it's so gradual.....

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı 25. November 2008, 19:31

I :love: Tarot... I normally get the magician or one of the king's, but lately it's been the Hermit card. I like that card for some odd reason. :D

PainterWoman 25. November 2008, 19:41

"...just get a little closer to the motors and levers and cogs which drive me without my consciousness or will. it's so gradual....."


Excellent way of putting it Scott!

scott cumming 25. November 2008, 19:50

isabel,
i have to take this as a sign to do the 'hermit' next. i am sure if you read below you will find out why you relate to it. :happy:
it's not for nothing though that orthodox religions frown on the tarot.
i think if we just take the meanings lightly, it can stimulate our thinking and sometimes even provide a lasting insight into the human condition.

i even have an herbal deck... a good way to learn the properties of various medicinal herbs. nothing is magic, i think; mysterious yes.... life is a mystery from the 'get go'.
if i can't verify, it just becomes 'encyclopedic'


from the aeclectic tarot:



After a long and busy lifetime, building, creating, loving, hating, fighting, compromising, failing, succeeding, the Fool feels a profound need to retreat. In a small, rustic home deep in the woods, he hides, reading, cleaning, organizing, resting or just thinking. But every night at dusk he heads out, traveling across the bare, autumnal landscape. He carries only a staff and a lantern.

It is during these restless walks from dusk till dawn, peering at and examining whatever takes his fancy, that he sees and realizes things he's missed, about himself and the world. It is as if the secret corners in his head were being slowly illuminated; corners he never knew existed. In a way, he has become the Fool again; as in the beginning, he goes wherever inspiration leads him. But as the Fool, his staff rested on his shoulder, carrying unseen his pack. The Fool was like the pack, whatever it was he could be was wrapped up, unknown. The Hermit's staff leans out before him, not behind. And it carries a lantern, not a pack. The Hermit is like the lantern, illuminated from within by all he is.

Basic Tarot Meaning

Represented by Virgo, the Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. This is not a time for socializing; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. Nor is it a time for action, discussion or decisions. It is a time to think, organize, ruminate, and take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent during this time of withdrawal. But such times lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

In regards to people, the Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist, someone the Querent usually sees alone, someone the rest of the Querent's friends and family may not know about. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing. They will help the Querent find what it is they are seeking.

Thirteen's Observations

One of the important things about this card is that the Hermit is always shown on the move. He's never locked away in his reclusive cell, he's always out wandering, searching. That, to me, is a Virgo. I'm married to one, I know. The Hermit is the restless mind of the Virgo, always gathering information, analyzing, making connections. Virgos are skeptics, and if anyone is going to stick a lantern into a dark place and take a good look at what's going on, it is a Virgo.

The Hermit is a card of connections and enlightenment. Combined with a desire to just "be alone," the Querent who gets this card is probably feeling impatient with people who disturb their peace or who can't see what they're seeing ("Are you blind?" might be their refrain, or, more typically, "You just don't get it, and I can't explain it to you."). In typical Virgo fashion, they're likely to be grumpy and anti-social. But for the Querent (if no one else!) this is a special time. Like an artist who hides for days then emerges to paint a masterpiece, this quiet time allows all the pieces to fall into place. So go ahead and encourage them to go on late night drives, long walks, hide in their room or go on retreat for a month. When they come back, they'll see everything in a brand new light. It'll be the best thing for them, and for everyone else in their lives.

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı 25. November 2008, 22:35

Well, that certainly fits me to a T at the moment! Although I'm not a virgo... :insane: Long story... :whistle: I so enjoy my solitude and my introspection at the moment. Reading "Women Who run with Wolves" (nearly finished... long book) which is based on Jungian thoughts, humanity's dreams and the stories hidden behind certain fairy tales. All the pieces are fitting into the puzzle. :lol: Hopefully I will have the time to howl like a wolf and prowl and preen into every nook and cranny! :lol: :heart:

scott cumming 26. November 2008, 00:38

very cool. i thought you would like that.
here's to jung, and wolves wine :heart:

Babs 29. November 2008, 04:37

wine I find it interesting that Carl Jung and the Tarot can be mentioned within almost the same breath, however since Jung held medieval beliefs, I don't find it odd. What do you think of using runes? That study is my favorite method of casting the future.

Eliane a/k/a Elly 29. November 2008, 05:11

Jung said that Tarot reflected universal beliefs held subconsciously by everyone on the planet. He said with his patients "themes" kept coming up in speech and drawings the patients made.

Really, to be truly accurate, Tarot should be translated by the person themselves, after that person has drawn and meditated for quite a while on a specific card. Doing this for the whole deck, it becomes personal. Then, using multiple cards you can really understand yourself. It is a process, as is everything.

People should rely on themselves to find themselves.

I imagine the same can be said of any "divinatory" method, including runes.

Babs 29. November 2008, 06:07

I would think personal drawings would also enable someone to learn about themselves and their interests. Mine tend to be filled with 1 small house (self), springtime flower gardens (new growth), and mountains (reaching up).

I keep a journal to write down my own rune casts, and I have the Creative Whack Pack Cards by Roger von Oech to get mental juices flowing when I'm stuck.

The book on the runes I have said that casting runes for someone else was not advised unless the person specifically asked you to do so.

scott cumming 29. November 2008, 06:10

babs,
i think of anything outside of myself as meaningful. but in doses. if i spend too much time thinking, when will i do. but every now and then, maybe it's a lull of some kind. i reach out to the i-ching, or gently to the tarot, not looking for answers but for stimulus.

i am the hero of my own life.

"In his memoir, "Memories, Dreams, Reflections," Jung wrote that meaning comes “when people feel they are living the symbolic life, that they are actors in the divine drama. That gives the only meaning to human life; everything else is banal and you can dismiss it. A career, producing of children, are all maya (illusion) compared to that one thing, that your life is meaningful.”

mom,
thanks for coming back to exchange with us. i have no doubt that our lives are driven by unconscious engines. if it were not so, i would have more control.
i'm not very interested in analysis. i don't feel like my life is a picture puzzle and my job is to find where each piece goes. more like, where is the lost harmony, what triumphs and scars have changed my attitude. and i can only glimpse what works in a dynamic situation. what traps do i continually succumb to. what tools do i have at my disposal to battle the illusions which hinder my progress.

and only by being open to see the will of the universe or god or nature and how it grates on my personal pursuit of happiness. it's a life's work. we all need all the help we can get. and we need to be quiet sometimes and ponder more deeply the significance of existence itself.

sorry gang... it's all that turkey talking. :happy:

Eliane a/k/a Elly 29. November 2008, 06:24

Yes, Babs, I agree with your comments.

Scott, you have defined yourself by your beliefs. Yes!!! I understand. Your above comments show what you believe of yourself. Battling illusions is another way of gaining control.

Life is a big work! We all help each other by just being here. We are all part of a universal work.

Some people ponder, and some don't -- they just accept. Each of these types are happy or sad depending on their moods. Each does their life-work. Everything we do, active or not, awake or asleep is something.

I read a quote today that summed it up so nicely:

Remember that if the opportunities for great deeds should never come, the opportunities for good deeds are renewed day by day. The thing for us to long for is the goodness, not the glory.

- F.W. Faber

Will put this quote into my blog. Also will research F.W. Faber.

Take care!!!!

Babs 29. November 2008, 06:40

Scott,

I tend to analyze everything. I have come to accept that about myself, even though sometimes, it tends to go too far. I also tend to go for months at a time without looking for the reason why of my existance. The children are grown, the garden is resting over the winter, and with the new year comes the time for self-renewal.

For the past 6 months, I've not had time to pause and wonder why about anything, being too busy with school. When I seem to feel like a fish on dry land is when I'll cast the runes, or shuffle the cards and draw one for a fresh idea.

As for having a meaningful life, I've found the reason for mine. :happy:

scott cumming 29. November 2008, 06:46

looks like we are all on the same page here. :smile:

the faber quote is very good, but you know, somehere in me there lurks a glory seeker. :cool: but i agree about the goodness.

Eliane a/k/a Elly 29. November 2008, 06:57

:up:

Babs 29. November 2008, 07:04

Ah, glory - I experienced that once or twice. :lol: I've never liked being in the limelight. I'd rather do the work in the background - Worthwhile and quiet so to speak. Let someone else get the attention, and while they are busy fighting off the Paparazzi, I can get on with my life of helping those who need it most. :happy:

Eliane a/k/a Elly 29. November 2008, 07:11

I would like to be all-powerful and help people; but I wouldn't tell them. Then they can praise the Creator from whom all power flows. I would be happy seeing people happy.

So, that makes me a nonglory person. :up:

scott cumming 29. November 2008, 07:12

i agree consciously and even avoided fame for the same reason. no privacy. but there is glory in a lot of things without fame. that's what i am talking about. to have made an effort and achieved something and have it recognized even by a small group. i just dig that. :smile:

Babs 29. November 2008, 07:19

:up: To help others without their knowledge - That'd be cool, Mom. And Scott, I couldn't agree more about getting recognized by the small group. It just makes the recognition that much more meaningful. :cool:

scott cumming 29. November 2008, 07:24

right on babs. :Smile:

and that helping others without their knowledge is not as easy as it sounds. considering others externally takes a kind of kindly awareness of what they really need. and then to do something without thanks, you have to remember that you did it for them not for yourself. tricky business. :happy:

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