CRYSTAL M3TH NIGHTMARE KILLING SPREE

offishul heet from Alpy

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BIKINI CAMP 2011

Most of the boards I'm buying are ones That I feel I might never see again on Ebay for a decent price. Or ones that I had, my friends had or ones that I really wanted as a young teenager but couldn't/wouldn't afford. It's the fountain of youth for me.




It's like I seriously cant stop, even when I run out of money I keep buying boards. Full_of_focus_mang! And all the boards I want are just cartoony type of art.


Giving up is what I do best. I could write half a book about it.

I just re-discovered Ebay. It's been a tough week. I figure I have bought 25 skateboards and 2 snowboards.
My latest jonze is the "cease and desist" collection. Yesterday I bought a board for $99.00 and I have no idea what model it is or anything about it, other than handmade in LA with a limited run of 50.




Then a couple of hours ago I was bidding on a C&D Randy Colvin but the buy it now was &138.00 or something but I sent in three offers and he bit on the third for $105.00 plus $15.00 shipping. Theres a weird feeling when you bid and win on Ebay. A little bit of a rush. And I like it!





And now I'm selling shit on Ebay so I can buy more shit.




I love skateboarding.



SUPER_GHEY_BOWL XLV

aka a bunch of millionaires running around in spandex acting disappointed.

Most of my hate for football is probably from the jocks I knew in high schhool. Now theres guys on both teams with rocker hair. Eminem is doing Chrysler commercials for some reason. Condaliza Rice and Bush up in VIP. Soooo many commercials, like a couple every 3 minutes. The players mug up on the line and strike a pose, then they try to do something and it doesn't work, the crowd goes awwww like they just saw a dog get hit by a car. The players act all pissed off and disappointed. I think it's hilarious how one team will kick that shit downfield, the ball bounces around and until it stops moving nobody touches it but acts like their about to pick it up. they just dance around it. I hate Pittsburgh and Green Bay, never going to either of those shithole places. So yeah, not rooting for either team. I want them both to lose. Failball.

My favorite part of stupid football is when they hike, pass to some ape, and he runs straight into the middle for a gain of nothing. Then the motherfuckers do it again....and again. That shit rarely works. Why is half the team buff and fit and the other half is huge fat slobs that dont resemble an athlete at all? The pats on the butt are pretty funny, wtf? I guess the only thing positive I could say about this game is that this is the one that matters (lol) and they are somewhat trying hard. Oh and the camera work is pretty tight. What a stupid game, why is this popular to watch...at all?
Maybe the only reason I'm watching this is so I can blog about how much I hate it. Mike Wallace is talented, I'll give you that much. Replacing the wood in my flatbed truck took more talent then half of the players

Oh, Wallace just made a killer catch and got slammed in mid air. that was pretty cool. Swain or whatever the long haired butt rocker just fumbled a pass, that was hilarious. That whole debacle looked so uncoordinated. Why in hell would you have long hair if you played football? Shit makes no sense. I would rip that kids hair straight off. Effing hippies. Coach of the steelers looks straight outta Wu Tang.

Every year some nice bloke caps all the commercials and puts em up on a torrent so I have no idea why I'm even watching this. I only turned it on at the third quarter because I'm full of dont care.

I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her.....that was a funny commercial. so was the Volkswagen beatle one.
Ok, 4th quarter with seven minutes to go and three points apart, ooop, another commercial. This is ridiculous. Pdiddy cant find his Mercedes.....House just hit some kid with his cane. Back to teh game!

They line up, try and do something, it doesn't work and then they mull around for a bit, wandering back to where their supposed to be or whatever. The snap! and jail shirt guy throws a rag down so everything stops. I seem to remember football pads being a lot bigger. They both have yellow pantaloons on, nice. The long haired hippies are really getting to me now. I hear clapping and just missed something. hahaha oh well, score didnt change so who cares. Two minutes left and its exciting and boring me to tears at the same time. More commercials...New Camaro looks tight. Come fucking on how long does it take to run out your two minutes? Fucking ridiculous. Lots of "Glee" commercials. Still proud to have not watched one second of that lame tv show.

They now have oh oh oh interception? no flag....whats happening. does that count? pffft what was that, nobody had possession and it hit the ground. I'm pretty sure thats not how it works....or is it? Now I'm confused. wow, I new this shit was riggeed. Packers win but in my mind they fail. ftw. I'm calling someone to get some clarity on what the fuck just happened...

In summary, Packers lose. Steelers lose. Football sucks. My tv looks tits for sports, amazing colors and hi-res bombness. Football - it's not skateboarding or snowboarding or motorcycling or snowmobiling, it's boring.




PEOPLE IN MY SKATEBOARDING PAST WHO MADE AN IMPACT ON HOW RESPECT HAPPENS.


Matt Helgason
, that dood had a dad that didnt really trip on what he did. Matt had the first Sims snowboard that I ever saw outside of a snowboard shop. He was from Norway or someplace. We used to ride a jump ramp at his dad's house on Clyde Hill.

Matt Gallardo, dropping in on Ranquets 'Nature Ramp' in SLIPPERS...and doing backside ollies 3-4 feet out. For those of you who dont know or dont remember that ramp was pretty much over vert for a minute. I remember dropping in multipule times and free falling the vert part. sketchy, rad and gnarly. I think he married "penny". Talking to him was sometimes a challenge because he would try and be so wierd on purpose, or not say anything at all.

Alex Nameroff, he did stalled handplants almost as good as Lance Mountain. My memory is prolly skewed on that one but he was years beyond my ability and always a super nice guy.

I forget the guy
who owned 'granny's ramp' but his dogs bit me on the ass once when I showed up to skate. The ramp was in the backyard of his grandma's house, hence the name 'granny's ramp'. I fell in love with his sister one year when I ran into her at a club up in Crossroads, some dance club. We started talking and it led to skateboarding somehow (wtf me?) and she started talking about her brother and the ramp at her grandma's house. Lynwood I recall. Really wide ramp with a roll_in. They only let us ride bikes on it once, lol. Who was that girl? She found me on Myspace back when that wasnt ghey but then we lost touch. She kind of looked like Shamane Francis...you dont know who that is, but she was an eleven back in highschool.

Scott Smiley, that dood could put it down. I witnessed a run at Nature ramp where he did like a five minute run - everything TO TAIL! Backside ollie to tail, bodyjar to tail, crail to tail, etc.and each time he SMACKED the coping so nicely. props to you S.S. I still have the Seattle Times article where they got busted for the whatever bowl with concrete ready to mix up and shizza. That run was rediculous.

Ranquet got mad at me for a bunch of shit I didnt even do, he tought me how to ollie over speed bumps at Bellevue Highschool so I cant really bitch about that. He did the best slappys on some curb in Eastgate, full on king pin breaking mob styles. He took me up to baker one time and I was sure we were going off the cliff. Bald tires with complete wanton disregard for traction. Mike, you suck at driving. The last time I saw him was pulling out of a bank parking lot driving an Audi with a big Slayer sticker on the back window, lolz.

Greg Bernier
got a pair of 12" subs in one of his shitty cars. That was the first time I ever heard NWA, and the first time bass ever tickled my eardrums so hard that I was rubbing my ears. I hate Greg for making out with my GF while I was down in California. Eff you Mfer.

Blogger, Stronger, Faster

waldrons is fuckin around with my cat

DROPPED THIS PIECE OFF AROUND SEPTEMBER 1ST......
shits still in the shop waiting for a gripper rail piece that Greg forgot to order. Already missed 3 weeks of shit. Lame.

fillin up my memo wiffa touch of my rhyme

Africa's lion population has plummeted from about 400,000 cats 70 years ago to about 20,000 today. We will prolly lose all of the lions by 2020 unless we do something.
I read this and thought, I dont give a shit about wild lions and 2020 is a long ways away. I will be alot older. Then I got to thinking that I dont reallly give a fuck if ALL animals are extinct by 2020.
Except animals that I like to eat like corn fed Nebraska beef whatevers.
Most of what I care about in this world only matters to me until I die. I dont have any kids, dont plan to and dont really even like children in general. In small doses there alright but very small doses. Kids are ghey.
I have this belief that mankind will fuck everything up probably well before I am gone. Just driving around in traffic has erased any respect that I ever had for humankind. Fuck I hate people, they are just so fucking stupid, self absorbed, meat head, selfish lemmings.(me included, lol).
I also dont give a fuck about global warming and all that shit either. Outta my hands yo. I dont own some big ass factory pumping shit out into the stratosphere polluting shits. If all the snow on earth ceases to fall the day I die what the fuck do I care? Ok, now its sounding really selfish on my part but BOOM! back to the "humans/government/banks will bleed this bitch dry no matter what you or I try to do" theory. I really have alot more respect for animals than I do for humans, but thats not saying much when I hate 99% of the people I have ever met.

Save the cats of Africa....REALLY? Is that the priority?
GTFO humans.

The funny thing is I got on this rant while reading the Robb Report super bullshit magazine and got all pissed off because every other fucking page is an ad for some fancy wrist watch.

humans, we worship money. buying diamonds and shit? comeon.

ford f250 flatsled mobber

So I'm thinking of going this route, I bought a 1993 Ford F250 flatbed with a 350 small block EFI bidness.
With the hopes of turning the bed into something wide enough to fit two sleds on side by side. Exactly like
a sled bed for a regular pickup without the high center of gravity and a shorter loading ramp. 8 lug nuts each wheel
on this piece! Storage is going to be a problem, without the extended cab and no bed...where do I put shits? Tools, helmets, baggage, snowboards?
Heres the stocker pic from when I bought it on Thursday.


And rotten bed wood ripped off.


It has stake bed pockets that I want to use to hold the new top deck. That way I can still use the bed sides for work or whatever in the summer time. I will probably have to have someone weld it up for me. (no skills).

New jacked up shit box

I WANT IN.
Shit still needs some work, steering stem is bent, tunnel is fucked....but I'm totally in for next season! I figure I got plenty of time to get it fixed. It's a 162 track so might not be to good in the tight trees of WA but should be great for taxi action. If this is what it takes to avoid multiple hour lift lines, than so be it.


"i finally creeped down to the edge, scoped out a my intended bomb hole landing spot, the crew gathered, setup in various spots for a cool shot.. and then i screamed DROP IN!!!!! and goosed the throttle right off the ledge.. down down i went, whammo! landed softly and rode away.. stoke factor 12 hit me and my whole body started shaking from adrenalin.. i just stepped into a whole new realm of sledding that i'm still pumped up on right now.. " - Oneshot

This is what i'm talmbout jonny, adrenalin. Reading that got me stoked!
I just read all of your trip reports from last year to try and get more insight on the areas.

crazy never watches where he's going...

Yesterday I took my buddy Christian Stitt out to the Moses Lake sand dunes. We brapp'ed around for about two hours. I showed him the 30 footer that Bud crashed off of. And ten minutes later he sends it off of a 20 footer to flat.......REALLY?


So we limp out to the rig and back to the same hospital that I was at with Bud two weeks earlier. CS has a really bad break on his wrist that is so swollen that doc cant sew it up till Wed. They originally thought he broke his sternum but turns out it might be just badly bruised.
May 2012
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