My OperaDo you feel stuck?
Sunday, December 26, 2010 4:45:18 AM
I understand where you're coming from. It may indeed be true that who you are today didn't involve much conscious choice up to this point. But conscious choice can certainly change who you become. If that weren't true, I could very well be in jail right now.
I was totally addicted to shoplifting in my late teens. I never chose to be a thief. I just fell into it one small step at a time, and it gradually escalated until I was doing grand theft most weekends just for fun.
Eventually I realized that my life was actually a result of my own decisions -- even the unconscious ones. I wasn't a victim of life. I was victimizing myself. It wasn't the cops' fault for arresting me. Maybe I wasn't in total control of every detail of my life, but there was definitely a cause-effect relationship between what I was experiencing and the decisions (or lack thereof) I'd made in the past. At that point I realized I could become a totally different person simply by making different decisions and then acting on them.
I realized I had far more freedom than I previously thought. If I wanted to, I could change any aspect of my life by choice. I could move to a new city. I could change my diet. I could change my daily habits. Such changes wouldn't necessarily be easy, and there were always consequences to every change. But I could at least see that I had the power to choose.
Your initial reaction of feeling beat up is actually a step in the right direction. I had to go to jail before I really got this. Although my writing style may seem a bit harsh at times, my goal is to push you toward a similar realization, specifically to the point of accepting that your life is 100% your responsibility, that no one is coming to rescue you, and that your ability to make decisions is ultimately what directs the course of your life. I want you to be able to see that you have way more freedom than you realize.
I am not a fan of the "fake it til you make it" style of confidence. I wrote a good deal about that in my book. To me what's more important than confidence is choice. Confidence will grow with practice. You'll feel more confident once you gain some competence.
I value courage a lot more than confidence. Courage allows you to make intelligent choices even when you don't feel certain. This actually leads to a deeper and more abiding sense of confidence. I can't always trust my ability because I often tackle things at which I'm a newbie. But I can hold myself in that place of courage where I'm willing to accept my incompetence and push forward anyway.
A willingness to fail is very important. I am willing to go broke again. I'm willing to write risky articles that might backfire. I'm willing to fall on my face. It isn't confidence that enables me to do such things. It's courage... and being willing to accept failure when it comes.
Courage is itself a choice. I wasn't particularly brave as a child. I was actually rather timid. But when I reached adulthood, and I thought about what kind of life I'd live if I was courageous vs. cowardly, I realized I had to keep choosing the path of courage. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would involve more failure and setbacks than the safer path. But I could also see it would offer a lot more growth and joy, and that has certainly turned out to be true.
This article was written by Steve Pavlina as a forum post. I'm just sharing his wisdom while putting up my links below to get link juice. You can find him on StevePavlina.com
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Hipnosis Barcelona
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HostGator
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Meditacion Barcelona
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I was totally addicted to shoplifting in my late teens. I never chose to be a thief. I just fell into it one small step at a time, and it gradually escalated until I was doing grand theft most weekends just for fun.
Eventually I realized that my life was actually a result of my own decisions -- even the unconscious ones. I wasn't a victim of life. I was victimizing myself. It wasn't the cops' fault for arresting me. Maybe I wasn't in total control of every detail of my life, but there was definitely a cause-effect relationship between what I was experiencing and the decisions (or lack thereof) I'd made in the past. At that point I realized I could become a totally different person simply by making different decisions and then acting on them.
I realized I had far more freedom than I previously thought. If I wanted to, I could change any aspect of my life by choice. I could move to a new city. I could change my diet. I could change my daily habits. Such changes wouldn't necessarily be easy, and there were always consequences to every change. But I could at least see that I had the power to choose.
Your initial reaction of feeling beat up is actually a step in the right direction. I had to go to jail before I really got this. Although my writing style may seem a bit harsh at times, my goal is to push you toward a similar realization, specifically to the point of accepting that your life is 100% your responsibility, that no one is coming to rescue you, and that your ability to make decisions is ultimately what directs the course of your life. I want you to be able to see that you have way more freedom than you realize.
I am not a fan of the "fake it til you make it" style of confidence. I wrote a good deal about that in my book. To me what's more important than confidence is choice. Confidence will grow with practice. You'll feel more confident once you gain some competence.
I value courage a lot more than confidence. Courage allows you to make intelligent choices even when you don't feel certain. This actually leads to a deeper and more abiding sense of confidence. I can't always trust my ability because I often tackle things at which I'm a newbie. But I can hold myself in that place of courage where I'm willing to accept my incompetence and push forward anyway.
A willingness to fail is very important. I am willing to go broke again. I'm willing to write risky articles that might backfire. I'm willing to fall on my face. It isn't confidence that enables me to do such things. It's courage... and being willing to accept failure when it comes.
Courage is itself a choice. I wasn't particularly brave as a child. I was actually rather timid. But when I reached adulthood, and I thought about what kind of life I'd live if I was courageous vs. cowardly, I realized I had to keep choosing the path of courage. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would involve more failure and setbacks than the safer path. But I could also see it would offer a lot more growth and joy, and that has certainly turned out to be true.
This article was written by Steve Pavlina as a forum post. I'm just sharing his wisdom while putting up my links below to get link juice. You can find him on StevePavlina.com
Tapping Barcelona
Hipnosis Barcelona
Buy Diamonds Online
HostGator
Blood Oranges
Reiki Barcelona
Meditacion Barcelona
Yoga Barcelona
Shiatsu Barcelona
Hipnosis Barcelona
Coaching Barcelona
Tai Chi Barcelona
Tantra Barcelona
