Second City of Angels

I'm not supposed to be home right now. However, my strange inability to stand this morning made it necessary to seek medical attention. And after a rather short examination it was determined that I have vertigo and shall remain home from work for the next week or so. I was not aware that vertigo was something one could "catch" or "get" as such, I guess I just assumed it was the sort of thing one either had or didn't. I'm writing this to you now, not in a feeble attempt for pity, but as a warning: DON'T GET THE VERTIGO! It's out there, looking for innocent, unsuspecting prey like myself. If given half the chance it will disorient you and everyone you love. Oh, the humanity. I'm not sure how I got it or what can be done to stop it but whatever it is I strongly suggest you do it, if not for yourself, then for the children. Won't someone PLEASE think of the children! Oh, it's too late for me dear friends, but not for you. Do whatever you must, lock your doors, don't talk to strangers, avoid stepping on cracks or under ladders, pick up pennies in the street- but ONLY if they show heads. Even if these things do nothing against the vertigo it's still good advice. Heed my warning friends so that my nauseous fate will not have been in vain.