My OperaYour blog post is better than this one
Monday, September 28, 2009 11:22:48 PM
A brief warning: This is therapy, people. There is nothing written in this post that you will have the slightest interest in reading, not even when compared to the rest of the posts on this blog.
It is a humbling thing to know someone is doing something better than you. A post about my recent TV exploits have been long coming, and then Loki decides to make an identical post with length and content practically impossible to come close to.
Not only does he watch more TV shows than me, he also watches more genre shows than me. I thought I was the guy with slightly more sci-fi bent interests than the L-man, turns out the guy has frakkin watched more Fringe than me. That was a particularly rude awakening.
It wouldn't sting so much if I didn't also know that the guy is better than me at the rest of life as well. And so I ask myself the question I've asked myself so many times before with slight variations; "so this guy is better than me at this, what am I better at than him?". The sad answer is of course "nothing", because for some reason when I do something I don't go all the way.
In my younger days I was a part of the local breakdance crew (the crew consisted of 3 people including me, it wasn't exactly a densely populated area), it was fun and all, but today what do I have to show for it? I can do the worm, that's it. A move that apparently is a move for posers, because it's easy to learn and can't really fit into dancing.
I enjoy super hero movies and applaud the comics they're based on, but I don't actually read them. After worshiping the movie for years I finally got around to reading the comic of "V for vendetta" last year because I just happened to come across it. I'm not a comic book geek yet I aspire to be one (just without, you know, the reading). When I watched Wolverine at the cinema, a pair of girls sat next to me. As they sat down I picked up the unmistakable smell of cheese hot dogs, and I was already kind of intrigued. On the way out I heard them discussing the X-men universe and the character most likely to have the next movie. Right then and there I was ready to deliver a not-at-all-creepy-stalker-like comment that they must be the perfect women, until I realized that they by far out-comic-geeked me.
I read fantasy novels, not sure where I got that from but I suspect it was a certain forum I frequented a long time ago. I've read the Wheel of Time, Song of Ice and Fire, a few Malazan books and that's it. Ask me to name a few prominent authors and I'm totally blank. Half the time when I try to read something I'll just lose interest and forget about it for weeks.
I'm a gamer, or so I like to think. But I came late to the table with the early consoles, inheriting (at a cost) an old Sega Master System II from my cousin because he had upgraded to the next generation, I played maybe 4 games on it. I was one of the last kids that got a computer in the house, and I had very few games beyond Starcraft and the Command & Conquer franchise. Then WoW came, and I now have to face the fact that playing one game does not a gamer make. I still listen to gamer podcasts and identify with the community, I even own a PS3 (not that I play it much), but deep down I know I'm not a gamer.
And then there are the previously mentioned TV-shows. Honestly Loki isn't what started that particular depression. I have been trying some new series recently and found myself in a conversation at work (something I don't usually do, but it just happened), and it turns out this guy has watched pretty much all of them at least casually. And yes, he has a more successful life than me (according to my self-hating insight).
As you might have been able to tell from looking at this site, I dabble in HTML and CSS. What have I been able to do? I've replaced a banner, modified the background slightly and altered a header background. That's pretty much as far as my knowledge goes, and it's only recently I managed to do anything at all.
A part of the problem is, I think, that I'm a bit of a blank personality, I pick up interests from somewhere and just go with it. I suppose it is then a given that I won't be exceptionally knowledgeable about anything, the "jack of all trades, master of none" thing. The only thing is that I'm not the "jack" of any trade, I'm more along the lines of "steaming pile of mediocrity".
Of course, the obvious conclusion when you can't win is "don't compete". And don't read too much into the fairly unplanned and somewhat worrying amounts of self-loathing presented above, as I said initially this post is here purely because it's vastly cheaper than a psychiatrist. Also, just because it's on the internet doesn't mean you have to read it.
PS: I will definitely still make that TV post, though. It was actually supposed to be this, but I got a bit carried away.
PPS: Oh, and I spent 2 hours typing this by my standards pretty extensive text. Remember that post by Loki I mentioned initially? It's 3 times the length of this.
It is a humbling thing to know someone is doing something better than you. A post about my recent TV exploits have been long coming, and then Loki decides to make an identical post with length and content practically impossible to come close to.
Not only does he watch more TV shows than me, he also watches more genre shows than me. I thought I was the guy with slightly more sci-fi bent interests than the L-man, turns out the guy has frakkin watched more Fringe than me. That was a particularly rude awakening.
It wouldn't sting so much if I didn't also know that the guy is better than me at the rest of life as well. And so I ask myself the question I've asked myself so many times before with slight variations; "so this guy is better than me at this, what am I better at than him?". The sad answer is of course "nothing", because for some reason when I do something I don't go all the way.
In my younger days I was a part of the local breakdance crew (the crew consisted of 3 people including me, it wasn't exactly a densely populated area), it was fun and all, but today what do I have to show for it? I can do the worm, that's it. A move that apparently is a move for posers, because it's easy to learn and can't really fit into dancing.
I enjoy super hero movies and applaud the comics they're based on, but I don't actually read them. After worshiping the movie for years I finally got around to reading the comic of "V for vendetta" last year because I just happened to come across it. I'm not a comic book geek yet I aspire to be one (just without, you know, the reading). When I watched Wolverine at the cinema, a pair of girls sat next to me. As they sat down I picked up the unmistakable smell of cheese hot dogs, and I was already kind of intrigued. On the way out I heard them discussing the X-men universe and the character most likely to have the next movie. Right then and there I was ready to deliver a not-at-all-creepy-stalker-like comment that they must be the perfect women, until I realized that they by far out-comic-geeked me.
I read fantasy novels, not sure where I got that from but I suspect it was a certain forum I frequented a long time ago. I've read the Wheel of Time, Song of Ice and Fire, a few Malazan books and that's it. Ask me to name a few prominent authors and I'm totally blank. Half the time when I try to read something I'll just lose interest and forget about it for weeks.
I'm a gamer, or so I like to think. But I came late to the table with the early consoles, inheriting (at a cost) an old Sega Master System II from my cousin because he had upgraded to the next generation, I played maybe 4 games on it. I was one of the last kids that got a computer in the house, and I had very few games beyond Starcraft and the Command & Conquer franchise. Then WoW came, and I now have to face the fact that playing one game does not a gamer make. I still listen to gamer podcasts and identify with the community, I even own a PS3 (not that I play it much), but deep down I know I'm not a gamer.
And then there are the previously mentioned TV-shows. Honestly Loki isn't what started that particular depression. I have been trying some new series recently and found myself in a conversation at work (something I don't usually do, but it just happened), and it turns out this guy has watched pretty much all of them at least casually. And yes, he has a more successful life than me (according to my self-hating insight).
As you might have been able to tell from looking at this site, I dabble in HTML and CSS. What have I been able to do? I've replaced a banner, modified the background slightly and altered a header background. That's pretty much as far as my knowledge goes, and it's only recently I managed to do anything at all.
A part of the problem is, I think, that I'm a bit of a blank personality, I pick up interests from somewhere and just go with it. I suppose it is then a given that I won't be exceptionally knowledgeable about anything, the "jack of all trades, master of none" thing. The only thing is that I'm not the "jack" of any trade, I'm more along the lines of "steaming pile of mediocrity".
Of course, the obvious conclusion when you can't win is "don't compete". And don't read too much into the fairly unplanned and somewhat worrying amounts of self-loathing presented above, as I said initially this post is here purely because it's vastly cheaper than a psychiatrist. Also, just because it's on the internet doesn't mean you have to read it.
PS: I will definitely still make that TV post, though. It was actually supposed to be this, but I got a bit carried away.
PPS: Oh, and I spent 2 hours typing this by my standards pretty extensive text. Remember that post by Loki I mentioned initially? It's 3 times the length of this.
Georgius the PeasantLoki Aesir # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 12:28:40 AM
"PPS: Oh, and I spent 2 hours typing this by my standards pretty extensive text. Remember that post by Loki I mentioned initially? It's 3 times the length of this."
Yeah, but yours have content beyond "I watch this. It's good/bad/decent/mediocre. I also watch this"-listing, so of course yours took more effort.
"PS: I will definitely still make that TV post, though. It was actually supposed to be this, but I got a bit carried away."
Still looking forward to it!
"Of course, the obvious conclusion when you can't win is "don't compete"."
Win? At life? 'The human race'-puns aside, life isn't a contest. It's about doing stuff you enjoy. If you enjoy frolicking about doing nothing in particular, you're winner enough. It's just about accepting that what you enjoy makes you feel good and then try to change those things that doesn't.
"A part of the problem is, I think, that I'm a bit of a blank personality, I pick up interests from somewhere and just go with it. I suppose it is then a given that I won't be exceptionally knowledgeable about anything, the "jack of all trades, master of none" thing. The only thing is that I'm not the "jack" of any trade, I'm more along the lines of "steaming pile of mediocrity"."
A "jack" of a trade is by definition someone mediocre - i.e. passable, but not that good - at it. So no worries there. If that's what you feel you are, embrace it, dude.
"As you might have been able to tell from looking at this site, I dabble in HTML and CSS. What have I been able to do? I've replaced a banner, modified the background slightly and altered a header background. That's pretty much as far as my knowledge goes, and it's only recently I managed to do anything at all."
*envious of your cool self-made banner!*
"And then there are the previously mentioned TV-shows. Honestly Loki isn't what started that particular depression."
Reliiiiief!
"And yes, he has a more successful life than me (according to my self-hating insight)."
How on Earth did you measure up what a successful life is?
"Ask me to name a few prominent authors and I'm totally blank. Half the time when I try to read something I'll just lose interest and forget about it for weeks."
No worries, it's in many regards worse to, like me, know th names of tons of the cool, new, popular authors that everybody's read and realise I don't have the time or energy to get to them. At least you've READ those you know of. That's something.
"I enjoy super hero movies and applaud the comics they're based on, but I don't actually read them. After worshiping the movie for years I finally got around to reading the comic of "V for vendetta" last year because I just happened to come across it. I'm not a comic book geek yet I aspire to be one (just without, you know, the reading). When I watched Wolverine at the cinema, a pair of girls sat next to me. As they sat down I picked up the unmistakable smell of cheese hot dogs, and I was already kind of intrigued. On the way out I heard them discussing the X-men universe and the character most likely to have the next movie. Right then and there I was ready to deliver a not-at-all-creepy-stalker-like comment that they must be the perfect women, until I realized that they by far out-comic-geeked me."
Ok, that's amusing. And easily solved by an afternoon browsing super-hero-articles on Wikipedia.
"It wouldn't sting so much if I didn't also know that the guy is better than me at the rest of life as well. And so I ask myself the question I've asked myself so many times before with slight variations; "so this guy is better than me at this, what am I better at than him?"."
Maths. You're way better at maths. And as anyone who's ever attended the sensible portions of a university knows (that is, any part that isn't social sciences), maths is the only thing that really matters. Everything else is just fake-smarts.
"The sad answer is of course "nothing", because for some reason when I do something I don't go all the way."
Good lord, so you're better at being measured, too!
Oh, and on a more serious note - "It wouldn't sting so much if I didn't also know that the guy is better than me at the rest of life as well" - wtf? What on Earth? You have a JOB, man. In three months, I'll be roaming the streets of a foreign country with a second official language that I don't speak, unemployed and with close to seven years of higher education that qualifies me not for one fig more than your average high school graduate. You have an _income_. You can buy FOOD. And shelter. You know, those things you need to actually HAVE a life. Don't be telling me that I'm somehow better at life than you when I'm going to be struggling just to make mine _go_ _on_.
And likely? You're in way better physical shape than me, too. Just going for a walk makes my heart-rate go way up. So please, cheer up. I'll be dead before you, and I'll spend the time up 'til then obsessing over not finding work and feeling useless. I'm totally not better at anything that matters.
"Not only does he watch more TV shows than me, he also watches more genre shows than me. I thought I was the guy with slightly more sci-fi bent interests than the L-man, turns out the guy has frakkin watched more Fringe than me. That was a particularly rude awakening."
Watching more Fringe than someone is quite the embarrassing trait, let me tell you. Every single episode, I'm on the verge to drop the show for good. Peter and Walter Bishop are the only things holding me back.
Also, "the L-man"? L is for LOVELY. I just decided.
"It is a humbling thing to know someone is doing something better than you. A post about my recent TV exploits have been long coming, and then Loki decides to make an identical post with length and content practically impossible to come close to."
Heh. Thank you. I honestly feel the post wasn't that great, it was more of a sort of half-structured ramble to cover up the fact that I haven't written any posts in months. But thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, and thank you for praising. It's nice of you.
And again? So looking forward to that TV-post. It'll be fun!
Jackstrom # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 5:03:22 AM
Jackstrom # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 6:37:30 AM
- I tried looking up the word "jack" an, well, I didn't find jack. Guess it has a more mediocre meaning than I assumed, poor research on my part.
- In the interest of fairness; the banner isn't entirely self-made, I stole it from another Opera template. The line-thingys on the sides is all me, though.
- I measure success at life through my own self-disserving insight.
- I have indeed spent a lot of time reading superhero articles on Wikipedia. It usually just ends up giving me a headache, which I suspect is a lesson in itself when it comes to DC continuity.
- Granted, I might be better at math than _you_. That doesn't change the fact that I barely made it throught my last year of math with an E, a grade letter only used in Norway (feel free to correct me on that, as I'm sure you will).
- My job is _temporary_ and utilizes practically none of my education, my boss actually forgot that I even _had_ a bachelor degree. When this year is over I will no doubt also be roaming the streets feeling useless (there are basically 2 companies in this country that my degree can be said to aim at), only I won't be doing it in some foreign country while mooching off my girlfriend, I'll be doing it at my dads house and I'll be single.
Georgius the PeasantLoki Aesir # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 7:11:11 AM
DC-continuity gives everyone sane a headache. It proves your mental health that this is the case with you, too.
Being better at math than me proves I'm not better at everything than you are, which is the only thing I took issue with. I am in no position to judge your quality relative to other people.
I also have no idea what other countries might use the grade E. Sorry!
Temporary job > no job, and boss forgetting you had a bachelor degree means the boss was reminded you did and knows now. 2 companies in the country your degree qualifies you for is better than none. Doing it in our lovely native country gives you the mental benefit of knowing there's social security if your attempts should actually fail, so the "not foreign"-thing is a good thing. And as for my having a girlfriend, that's just a lucky fluke on my part. Being lucky is not the same as being better. And otherwise I'd be doing it all at my dad's house single, too. Except I wouldn't know how to get an E in maths.
In short, you'll be okay. You just need to find a more happy attitude about your life. Enjoy what you do, and figure out what to do to change those things you don't enjoy. Despite your implied claims here, you're pretty smart, so you can do that. :)
Jackstrom # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 7:52:26 AM
Jackstrom # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 7:54:29 AM
Georgius the PeasantLoki Aesir # Tuesday, September 29, 2009 1:23:59 PM
Unregistered user # Saturday, October 24, 2009 10:27:41 PM
Jackstrom # Saturday, October 24, 2009 11:10:41 PM
Originally posted by anonymous:
Oh sure, my confidence is down, so why don't you step on it.
Georgius the PeasantLoki Aesir # Saturday, October 24, 2009 11:43:45 PM
...XD!