My OperaThe Nubbin Christmas Saga; Part1
Friday, November 12, 2010 2:57:05 AM
Yes I know this is from last year, I need another Christmas poem to nubbinise (a polite way of saying rip-off }8D) this year...ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE VELCOME.
*CLEARS THROAT*
Twas the night before Christmas, when who was out clubbin',
but the furry, adorable, cute little nubbins.
In everyones homes, the goodies were bakin'
prepared to be eaten when all would awaken.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of nubbins bounced through their heads,
the adults were snuggled in front of the fire,
watching 'The Grinch', or some other satire.
When out on the kerb there arose such a RAWWR!
they leapt from the sofa to deadbolt the door!
They thought they'd done well, that the food would be kept
from the rage of the nubbins, who of course had been pepped.
The mother of nubbins, Agatha HERSELF
had pep-talked her children, inspired their stealth,
but in their excitement, they forgot all their studies
and created a racket, spurred on by their buddies!
With a crash! and a bang! they stampeded the lawn
with no other thought than the fresh-boiled corn.
The adults were startled, they switched off their tellies,
interrupted by nubbins, with their small empty bellies.
The beautiful moon, on the fresh-fallen snow
cast peace and serenity, with a silverish glow...
It would have been perfect, like some paradise,
if not for the racket not sounding so nice.
The furry round creatures had got to the roast
by which point the adults just KNEW they were toast.
With bottles of liquor they crept back upstairs,
accompanied by sounds of demolishing chairs.
Back in the kitchen, the walls dressed in sauce
with lick marks all over, besides which, of course
the afore-said corn was adorning the bench
and out of the fridge, there arose such a stench!
The female human, in all her great haste
had left a raw chicken, still lacking in baste
in the freeze drawer, and now these small ghouls
had ripped it to shreds, all plastered in drool.
To the left of the fridge, (no longer so shy!)
some half-dozen nubbins faceplanted mince pie,
while across from the oven, where once stood fruit cake,
a mass of small nubbins clean their fur with a shake!
The rampaging nubbins' frenzy climaxed,
a feisty young nubbin burst in with an axe,
with a couple of strokes he set the fridge free
when mother Agatha bellowed loudly 'KREE!'
The brief pause that followed, a dropped spoon resounded,
the nubbins all gazed at their mother astounded,
she looked at the 'wave, and then at the fridge
there wasn't a sound, not even a smidge...
...Then THERE was the signal, 'twas but a brief nod
the nubbins assembled, all in one bod!
In a minute the fridge was nuked like Nevada!
Ask not how 'twas done, of your mother nor father.
It was, by this time, quite early next day
the sun rose majestically, 'twas Christmas Day!
Knowing the humans would soon all get up,
the great clan of nubbins hijacked the milk truck!
Not a peep, not a sound, nor a knock or a scrape
was heard as the nubbins made good their escape.
As the humans descended, they were unprepared
for the chaos before them, they just stood and they stared!
'OH MUMMY!' cried Amy, 'was Santa Claus drinking?!'
she knew no what happened, not even an inkling!
Her parents were silent, exchanged fearful looks
'Oh Eric' cried mother, 'they ate all I cooked!'
'Who was it?' cried Amy, her mouth all a-quiver,
'The nubbins..' her mother replied all a-dither,
'Nubbins are rather like Furbies, but feral,
do not cross their paths, if you do, at your peril!'
'The nubbins cannot really be all that bad,
for they harmed not you, nor me, or dad'
And so Amy knew that she was quite in the right,
all the nubbins had wanted was food for the night!
And so it continued, on Christmas each year,
the nubbins in numbers would bring Christmas cheer!
Year after year, they had a great feast
tis a legend, for every young nubbin, at least.
*CLEARS THROAT*
Twas the night before Christmas, when who was out clubbin',
but the furry, adorable, cute little nubbins.
In everyones homes, the goodies were bakin'
prepared to be eaten when all would awaken.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of nubbins bounced through their heads,
the adults were snuggled in front of the fire,
watching 'The Grinch', or some other satire.
When out on the kerb there arose such a RAWWR!
they leapt from the sofa to deadbolt the door!
They thought they'd done well, that the food would be kept
from the rage of the nubbins, who of course had been pepped.
The mother of nubbins, Agatha HERSELF
had pep-talked her children, inspired their stealth,
but in their excitement, they forgot all their studies
and created a racket, spurred on by their buddies!
With a crash! and a bang! they stampeded the lawn
with no other thought than the fresh-boiled corn.
The adults were startled, they switched off their tellies,
interrupted by nubbins, with their small empty bellies.
The beautiful moon, on the fresh-fallen snow
cast peace and serenity, with a silverish glow...
It would have been perfect, like some paradise,
if not for the racket not sounding so nice.
The furry round creatures had got to the roast
by which point the adults just KNEW they were toast.
With bottles of liquor they crept back upstairs,
accompanied by sounds of demolishing chairs.
Back in the kitchen, the walls dressed in sauce
with lick marks all over, besides which, of course
the afore-said corn was adorning the bench
and out of the fridge, there arose such a stench!
The female human, in all her great haste
had left a raw chicken, still lacking in baste
in the freeze drawer, and now these small ghouls
had ripped it to shreds, all plastered in drool.
To the left of the fridge, (no longer so shy!)
some half-dozen nubbins faceplanted mince pie,
while across from the oven, where once stood fruit cake,
a mass of small nubbins clean their fur with a shake!
The rampaging nubbins' frenzy climaxed,
a feisty young nubbin burst in with an axe,
with a couple of strokes he set the fridge free
when mother Agatha bellowed loudly 'KREE!'
The brief pause that followed, a dropped spoon resounded,
the nubbins all gazed at their mother astounded,
she looked at the 'wave, and then at the fridge
there wasn't a sound, not even a smidge...
...Then THERE was the signal, 'twas but a brief nod
the nubbins assembled, all in one bod!
In a minute the fridge was nuked like Nevada!
Ask not how 'twas done, of your mother nor father.
It was, by this time, quite early next day
the sun rose majestically, 'twas Christmas Day!
Knowing the humans would soon all get up,
the great clan of nubbins hijacked the milk truck!
Not a peep, not a sound, nor a knock or a scrape
was heard as the nubbins made good their escape.
As the humans descended, they were unprepared
for the chaos before them, they just stood and they stared!
'OH MUMMY!' cried Amy, 'was Santa Claus drinking?!'
she knew no what happened, not even an inkling!
Her parents were silent, exchanged fearful looks
'Oh Eric' cried mother, 'they ate all I cooked!'
'Who was it?' cried Amy, her mouth all a-quiver,
'The nubbins..' her mother replied all a-dither,
'Nubbins are rather like Furbies, but feral,
do not cross their paths, if you do, at your peril!'
'The nubbins cannot really be all that bad,
for they harmed not you, nor me, or dad'
And so Amy knew that she was quite in the right,
all the nubbins had wanted was food for the night!
And so it continued, on Christmas each year,
the nubbins in numbers would bring Christmas cheer!
Year after year, they had a great feast
tis a legend, for every young nubbin, at least.
