My OperaA letter to the next spouse
Friday, August 13, 2010 3:27:21 PM
A lot of marriages have failed and many more will still fail. Thus, it becomes a concern to those of us who are the parents of tomorrow, for the fact that this virus “breakup” keeps eating in into the society, mostly the younger society; hence, becoming a threat to our own future.
Some see it as a social thing while some see it as a cultural thing, but it’s neither both. It’s God’s design for the good of man. Trying to run a relationship of this sort socially or culturally would only result to a failure. Hence, the point I’m trying to make here is that leaving the initiator (God) out of it means unhappiness and frustration is at the door.
When a marriage is about to collapse, the friends and well wishers of the people involved gives all kind of suggestions they think can help but often it helps speed up the breakup. The only thing that can make one’s marriage not disgusting is if it’s practiced with the fear of God. One thing I found out is that if a person does not love God, definitely that individual can’t love the spouse; they can only pretend to love them, maybe for what they stand to gain or perhaps for some other interest.
However, we still have our own role to play. Mostly when we are yet unmarried, there are certain life styles that may affect our marriage. Cohabitation is as common as water in our present society. In fact this is longer seen as something wrong by a major population of the modern society. However, if we are to tell ourselves the truth, it’s wrong. Most ladies end up having their heart shattered with a chisel and hammer in this type of long term relationship. When you have been living with a man, cooking, washing, doing all kinds of chores and other extra curriculum activities, what again do you think you have to offer? Definitely there is nothing. Sure you are doing this because you are in love and maybe also to impress your man, but you have a pride to protect. When you cohabitate for long before marriage there is a high tendency that infidelity is going come into such a marriage. Sure, infidelity is the reason most marriages don’t work.
And please guys don’t tie any lady down when you are sure you are not ready to settle down. That apart, if you have one percent (1%) doubt in your mind over a lady you want to marry then there is ninety nine percent (99%) probability that you will fail in that marriage. So, it’s better for the lady you don’t marry her out of pity because it’s endangering her life happiness. The same applies to ladies.
I’m not a counsellor or something of that sort. I’m making this note because I am touched at the rate of divorce seen these days. Being a religious man from a cultural background I don’t believe in it. It is a threat to our future and the future of our children. Children that grew up in a broken family pass through a lot in their young age. You and I can minimize this trend of life style by applying wisdom in the choices we make in our youthful life. God is going to do the rest.
Divorce has not really solved any problem. In the west is common to see people with a record of up to three to four official marriages. That is to say that the first divorce only worsened their idea of marriage. Marriage is something that needs understanding and endurance. It is not a Hollywood or Bollywood shot that is expected to flow in a happily ever after sequence. There is a lot to say but I wish to stop here for now.
So let’s go get ready for this ride. It’s going to be a rough one.
May God help us
Some see it as a social thing while some see it as a cultural thing, but it’s neither both. It’s God’s design for the good of man. Trying to run a relationship of this sort socially or culturally would only result to a failure. Hence, the point I’m trying to make here is that leaving the initiator (God) out of it means unhappiness and frustration is at the door.
When a marriage is about to collapse, the friends and well wishers of the people involved gives all kind of suggestions they think can help but often it helps speed up the breakup. The only thing that can make one’s marriage not disgusting is if it’s practiced with the fear of God. One thing I found out is that if a person does not love God, definitely that individual can’t love the spouse; they can only pretend to love them, maybe for what they stand to gain or perhaps for some other interest.
However, we still have our own role to play. Mostly when we are yet unmarried, there are certain life styles that may affect our marriage. Cohabitation is as common as water in our present society. In fact this is longer seen as something wrong by a major population of the modern society. However, if we are to tell ourselves the truth, it’s wrong. Most ladies end up having their heart shattered with a chisel and hammer in this type of long term relationship. When you have been living with a man, cooking, washing, doing all kinds of chores and other extra curriculum activities, what again do you think you have to offer? Definitely there is nothing. Sure you are doing this because you are in love and maybe also to impress your man, but you have a pride to protect. When you cohabitate for long before marriage there is a high tendency that infidelity is going come into such a marriage. Sure, infidelity is the reason most marriages don’t work.
And please guys don’t tie any lady down when you are sure you are not ready to settle down. That apart, if you have one percent (1%) doubt in your mind over a lady you want to marry then there is ninety nine percent (99%) probability that you will fail in that marriage. So, it’s better for the lady you don’t marry her out of pity because it’s endangering her life happiness. The same applies to ladies.
I’m not a counsellor or something of that sort. I’m making this note because I am touched at the rate of divorce seen these days. Being a religious man from a cultural background I don’t believe in it. It is a threat to our future and the future of our children. Children that grew up in a broken family pass through a lot in their young age. You and I can minimize this trend of life style by applying wisdom in the choices we make in our youthful life. God is going to do the rest.
Divorce has not really solved any problem. In the west is common to see people with a record of up to three to four official marriages. That is to say that the first divorce only worsened their idea of marriage. Marriage is something that needs understanding and endurance. It is not a Hollywood or Bollywood shot that is expected to flow in a happily ever after sequence. There is a lot to say but I wish to stop here for now.
So let’s go get ready for this ride. It’s going to be a rough one.
May God help us
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