My OperaRed Flickering Lights (3 days away)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 1:14:57 AM
Friday....Standing in front of our local Spa, talking with a client, with one hand holding an iced Hazelnut coffee, the other my briefcase and....
I suddenly felt 'far away' as we were talking. Her words were blowing away with the wind. It was very windy.
Then I looked at her and said..."I'm going somewhere now."
I remember a red flickering light and darkness and feeling very light, not at all in my body. In fact, I felt no sensation that could be described as a logical one. Bits and pieces of letters almost forming words. Crying out, but no sounds came from me. Just that red flickering light. It was all I had to hold onto to be sure a part of me, still existed.
I felt hands touching my body, my face...and all in darkness. I was beginning to feel more in this new space that I was in.
I thought of my family and everyone I loved and held onto them, remembering their faces, the sound of their voices....then, darkness again. Then again...no sensation.
I began to feel pain and a feeling of sea-sickness. And, once again, I saw the red flickering light. As if nothing else existed. And, my mind began to wander.
Was this the evidence of who I was and this will now be my means of travel, through time and space? Would there be more to come or would it just always be this red flickering light? (this was all soooo crazy??!!)
Both a tinge of 'fear' and 'excitement' at this new feeling, awakening, event taking place where I was a spectator. Front row seats to a show that had not yet opened, but promised to by way of these new sensations. A feeling of certainty, amidst all this confusion, that more would come. Everything, every feeling, very foreign.
I met a lot of people on my journey. In-between the red flickering lights, I began to see faces and even hear voices. I could count every line on their face and count the number of times they changed direction. Numbers danced all around me. Glances. Nods. Counting the hairs on their heads. It all had become a part of me.
All that was around me. Where I was, I didn't know. I have to admit that I was fascinated by these events. By moments that seemed like lifetimes. And, the only evidence I have that it all existed is in my own heart and mind.
I woke up in a private room on the Cardiac Unit of our Trauma Center. There were many people in the room, most I was not familiar with, but others were 'with' me wherever I went. By that I mean, the place or maybe I should say...the STATE I was in, maybe even the other dimension. Who knows. No one knows.
This surreal chain of events was reduced to a hospital band which identified me as being a person who was rushed by ambulance into a hospital, tested for every possible reason for my being in a coma for 3 days, and, with absolutely no medical explanation...I was released this afternoon.
I sat at my computer, looking at my keyboard....and it looked so new, almost like something I hadn't experienced before. I cut off my hospital band and just stared at it like it was a ticket from a play I had just seen and was wondering where in my scrapbook to place it. It was just a hospital band.
I wanted so badly, to be alone for a little while and just write this all down....talk about it/share it with someone. There is 'little' objectivity surrounding me as noone is comfortable hearing what I experienced...they are all very stressed out. I don't know why. I'm fine. I'm home.
Whatever happened is over and it may or may not happen again. But, it sure is worth sharing.
While in the hospital, all of the tests performed showed no abnormalities. Diagnosis: Unresponsive!
(I spent 2 days in machines and they even checked for blockages in my heart)
All of the Neuro tests they did while I was 'sleeping' were normal, except.....I did not respond to light. And it's funny because I saw the red flickering light everytime it went off.??
The only instructions I received when leaving the hospital was regarding the area where they performed the Heart Cath, where they cut into the main artery and how to care for it and what signs to look for to be sure it does not become infected. And, they asked me not to drive for 3 days.
Other than that, they all wished me well and professed that they, too, had an experience while with me. ???? They didn't elaborate.
I did 'go' somewhere and I felt and saw things I had never felt or seen before. I had no drugs injected as there was no reason for them, just a slow drip of Lactated Ringer's.
The red flickering light: Everytime I was transported to a different part of the hospital....I was scanned!
Looking at that hospital band is still 'weirding me out'!!! I don't know if that's correct spelling or even a word, but I just added it to my vocabulary!!!
Some pics my sister took. The room and one of the nurses who was with me throughout. A letter that my Granddaughter wrote to me, not knowing if I was ever going to read it. (Bless her little heart, she was sooo upset)
I suddenly felt 'far away' as we were talking. Her words were blowing away with the wind. It was very windy.
Then I looked at her and said..."I'm going somewhere now."
I remember a red flickering light and darkness and feeling very light, not at all in my body. In fact, I felt no sensation that could be described as a logical one. Bits and pieces of letters almost forming words. Crying out, but no sounds came from me. Just that red flickering light. It was all I had to hold onto to be sure a part of me, still existed.
I felt hands touching my body, my face...and all in darkness. I was beginning to feel more in this new space that I was in.
I thought of my family and everyone I loved and held onto them, remembering their faces, the sound of their voices....then, darkness again. Then again...no sensation.
I began to feel pain and a feeling of sea-sickness. And, once again, I saw the red flickering light. As if nothing else existed. And, my mind began to wander.
Was this the evidence of who I was and this will now be my means of travel, through time and space? Would there be more to come or would it just always be this red flickering light? (this was all soooo crazy??!!)
Both a tinge of 'fear' and 'excitement' at this new feeling, awakening, event taking place where I was a spectator. Front row seats to a show that had not yet opened, but promised to by way of these new sensations. A feeling of certainty, amidst all this confusion, that more would come. Everything, every feeling, very foreign.
I met a lot of people on my journey. In-between the red flickering lights, I began to see faces and even hear voices. I could count every line on their face and count the number of times they changed direction. Numbers danced all around me. Glances. Nods. Counting the hairs on their heads. It all had become a part of me.
All that was around me. Where I was, I didn't know. I have to admit that I was fascinated by these events. By moments that seemed like lifetimes. And, the only evidence I have that it all existed is in my own heart and mind.
I woke up in a private room on the Cardiac Unit of our Trauma Center. There were many people in the room, most I was not familiar with, but others were 'with' me wherever I went. By that I mean, the place or maybe I should say...the STATE I was in, maybe even the other dimension. Who knows. No one knows.
This surreal chain of events was reduced to a hospital band which identified me as being a person who was rushed by ambulance into a hospital, tested for every possible reason for my being in a coma for 3 days, and, with absolutely no medical explanation...I was released this afternoon.
I sat at my computer, looking at my keyboard....and it looked so new, almost like something I hadn't experienced before. I cut off my hospital band and just stared at it like it was a ticket from a play I had just seen and was wondering where in my scrapbook to place it. It was just a hospital band.
I wanted so badly, to be alone for a little while and just write this all down....talk about it/share it with someone. There is 'little' objectivity surrounding me as noone is comfortable hearing what I experienced...they are all very stressed out. I don't know why. I'm fine. I'm home.
Whatever happened is over and it may or may not happen again. But, it sure is worth sharing.
While in the hospital, all of the tests performed showed no abnormalities. Diagnosis: Unresponsive!
(I spent 2 days in machines and they even checked for blockages in my heart)
All of the Neuro tests they did while I was 'sleeping' were normal, except.....I did not respond to light. And it's funny because I saw the red flickering light everytime it went off.??
The only instructions I received when leaving the hospital was regarding the area where they performed the Heart Cath, where they cut into the main artery and how to care for it and what signs to look for to be sure it does not become infected. And, they asked me not to drive for 3 days.
Other than that, they all wished me well and professed that they, too, had an experience while with me. ???? They didn't elaborate.
I did 'go' somewhere and I felt and saw things I had never felt or seen before. I had no drugs injected as there was no reason for them, just a slow drip of Lactated Ringer's.
The red flickering light: Everytime I was transported to a different part of the hospital....I was scanned!
Looking at that hospital band is still 'weirding me out'!!! I don't know if that's correct spelling or even a word, but I just added it to my vocabulary!!!
Some pics my sister took. The room and one of the nurses who was with me throughout. A letter that my Granddaughter wrote to me, not knowing if I was ever going to read it. (Bless her little heart, she was sooo upset)
Angelikiellinidata # Tuesday, March 3, 2009 4:38:12 AM
that was unbelievable !
I am so glad to know you are well..
I hope you realize now that
this is one more indication
life is short and we have to have more wine,
more sex,
more travel,
more love give and receive,
more family time ...
darn it Jill
reading the lines was enough to make me start crying here!
I am SO GLAD to know you are well!
SO VERY GLAD....THANK GOD!!!
Please give your grand daughter an extra hug for me,
your family must have been very scared too ....
JillJillee # Tuesday, March 3, 2009 4:51:28 AM
No one knows what happened to me. My test results were all good. And yes, everyone here is still very much...Freaked-Out!!!
I look at it as; we are such a small piece of such a HUGE puzzle and we all fit, somewhere. It may not always feel good or even right, but we're meant to be at a certain place at a certain time, for a reason that we may not be privileged enough at the time, to be privy to.
I will give her a big hug from you, thank you. Everyone is really still just....watching me??~!!!
Very strange! Thank God, yes!
Big, Big Hugs and Kisses!!!
Angelikiellinidata # Tuesday, March 3, 2009 5:05:19 AM
I promise you the moment I win that f* lotto I will take you and "Little Princess" on a cruise around the world
JillJillee # Tuesday, March 3, 2009 5:10:39 AM
Life is ONE BIG CRUISE!!!!
Seriously....I could USE a CRUISE!
Hugs
scott cummingI_ArtMan # Wednesday, March 4, 2009 2:44:40 AM
night wolf # Wednesday, March 4, 2009 6:48:04 AM
so glade your O.K!
OMG!! right afrer a put that "Jill Jill Jill Kill Kill Kill"
And told you it was like a bar code!!
now i see a bar code!!!
O.K now I'm freaked out!!!
what could it mean!?
Sullyscorpio1168 # Friday, March 6, 2009 6:10:52 AM
Angelikiellinidata # Friday, March 6, 2009 7:11:50 AM
honey
as long as the captains are handsome Greeks the "Dinners at the Captain's Table" will be always enjoyable!
did I tell you that I get seasick?
well I do, and since most of the cruise lines use Greek captains, being a Greek on the Cruise ships its a plus!
99% of the time I was invited to the captains table
( a great honor since the feast there its always the best)
Sadly I only could eat crackers and feta cheese
(the best for an upset stomach)...
Jill baby, I have many stories to tell you...
I our together time in Italy/Greece we can make some major damage...
Angelikiellinidata # Sunday, March 8, 2009 1:25:33 PM
night wolf # Sunday, March 8, 2009 3:54:24 PM
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 12:45:23 AM
THIS woman was on here a lil earlier but everytime I tried to upload a pic, the rest of them disappeared????
How was your Sunday?? Anything exciting??
Hugs
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 12:47:32 AM
I hope your day was a beautiful one!!!!
Angelikiellinidata # Monday, March 9, 2009 12:53:25 AM
hugs back at you and I hope next year we exchange hot pictures
PS any woman that listens to Barbra Streisand is my QUEEN BEE big time!
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:00:03 AM
Nothing like eating in STYLE....Oh, Yeah!!
Risky going with me though...short but funny story: last cruise, one night, I walked off the dance floor to walk out on the upper deck...Stevie Wonder's "Ribbon in the Sky" was playing and the Moon was full and the water was just glistening, looking like a million stars were jumping off of it, then, suddenly, I got swept off my feet...LITERALLY, I was being dragged.
He thought I was his wife and I think he was going to toss her over-board!!!!
Yeah, always exciting with Jill!!!!
But, we'll try to stay out of trouble!!!!
Hugs
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:02:19 AM
I tried to get the song on here, Queen Bee, but was having too many problems. Her and the Domino's...remember?? A Star is Born?
She's the Lady!!
Angelikiellinidata # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:13:19 AM
not sure about it either!
I can become a mayor of a city in the first 24 hours
no problem meeting people and fire up a party
"opa"
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:15:10 AM
The 'bar code'? I believe that we pick-things-up from one another when we are in contact. Intuitively, we know something without giving it a name. It's just a feeling. And, sometimes, we don't even have the feeling, it just manifest's itself through words or thoughts.
I don't know? Life is sure a mystery!!
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:24:54 AM
I have my theories but nothing concrete on why I was 'gone' for 3 days mentally, but physically intact and visible. And why I was able, allowed to know, to see only the few things I did...I'll never know. Well, I should never say never.
It may sound strange, but I 'miss' the sensations, I truly do. I've never experienced them before.
True that the spirit 'does' travel. Most of my 'journeys' have been in the wee hours of the morning. Why, I don't know.
Thanks Sully and Bunches of Peace to you!!
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:30:12 AM
Me too!!
She's too awesome....to be gifted with a voice like that....that has to come from somewhere magnificent!!
I know....NY, NY!!!!
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:39:31 AM
It's the Orio's...I said before..Domino's???? Just wanted to clear up that HUGE mistake...hehe!!
Hugs
JillJillee # Monday, March 9, 2009 1:48:04 AM
And, how can we not believe that, when everything within us shows us this truth, and everyday. I don't think anyone is blind, I do believe that not everyone has learned how to use their sight.
I think about that sometimes and how often I could have figured out something and a lot sooner, had my eyes been open. It's in our eyes, our hearts and our bodies, that 'sight'!
Thanks, Scott, it's good to be back!
Big Hugs
night wolf # Monday, March 9, 2009 7:49:43 AM
JillJillee # Wednesday, March 11, 2009 2:10:05 AM
night wolf # Wednesday, March 11, 2009 5:00:05 AM
Hope you had a good day
Naomi CultureSurfer # Wednesday, March 11, 2009 5:35:32 PM
One of the reasons I have HUGE issues with established religions, self-help books & gurus, and various philosophies is that I don't believe anyone has a clue how the universe functions. I don't believe there is any one simple explanation for what happens in the world, and I believe we are function in one reality yet we also have different realities. I pick and choose my reality from whatever information comes my way, from whatever source.
It sounds like you took quite the trip and I'm glad you made it back in one piece. It's got to be frustrating not to be able to explain it to other people & not to be able to truly share it. It must be tempting to go back & get the hospital staff to tell you what the heck they experienced.
Please keep on sending me your awesome vibes (probably a thousand times stronger since this experience).
JillJillee # Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:09:07 AM
I don't believe either, that there is a simple or even...any, explanation for some occurrences.
I've found that others like to 'explain things away' as it fits their comfort level. They are very uneasy with thoughts of the 'unknown'.
Good point you made regarding realities. What really is reality? Is it what we can see and feel and touch? Is it what we are taught and to accept to be real? And who can really answer these questions? No one. That would be impossible.
The same would apply to the over usage of that six letter word...NORMAL. What is normal? We own our feelings. They are from our life experiences. So, who decides what is abnormal? And, to what degree?
Who's to say that the state that I was in was 'not' normal...for me? We can't even begin to understand the complexities of the human brain. Maybe my mind decided my body needed a rest and just...shut it down!
There are really so many maybe's and if's that it would be futile to speculate.
Gee Naomi, your response really has me thinking outloud (hope this isn't too, too long...hehe) and about a lot of things.
"It's got to be frustrating not to be able to explain it to other people & not to be able to truly share it. It must be tempting to go back & get the hospital staff to tell you what the heck they experienced."
It is, Naomi. Thanks for recognizing that.
Quite the trip it was and yep, returned....all in one piece! Thanks!
I'll let you know what unfolds with Mike!
Hugs
Sullyscorpio1168 # Thursday, March 12, 2009 10:27:09 PM
Naomi CultureSurfer # Friday, March 13, 2009 12:48:29 PM
Glad I made everyone think. For once.