The OTHER book of Yonah.

Hot off the printing press is a new book entitled, "Flirtexting - how to text your way to his wallet heart". Combining the words "Flirt" and "Text" into one rough sounding, present continuous tense verb. If you couldn't guess by the oh so clever title, this book is a "how to" manual for flirting via mobile phone text messages.

Now, I haven't read the book myself but I did see the two authors Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz discuss the book during a CNN interview. First of all, what the fuck is CNN doing advertising this trash? I have to assume CNN was paid to air this shit. What journalistic value does this book have? In a nutshell, this book helps women flirt with, and ultimately manipulate, men they might be exchanging text messages with.

Of course, because this news segment was nothing more than an ass licking infomercial, the interview mentioned nothing about the dark side of text messaging. The tendency for people to easily believe whatever they read. The possibility that the person that sent you a text message might be flirting with 4 or 5 other guys at the same time. The fact that electronic flirting makes it easier to lie and fake feelings.

Nope, none of that. Just laugh laugh, giggle giggle. Get this book girl! Learn how to play the game girl! Everybody have a good time! Gotta get that romance girl! Some women can be like crack addicts when it comes to affairs of the heart. They just got to have that romance and they'll get it any way they can no matter who it hurts in the process. Shitty books like this just reinforce that drive. But whatever, not like the two dumb cunts that wrote it give a shit. Buy the book!

Fuck that. Here's some advice for men. Advice you could probably learn by reading about everything I went through with "Jabba the Slut", but here is the short version, free of charge.

Don't put up with girls who flirt with you using email, instant messages, or SMS texts. If they try to pull that shit on you, tell them to knock it off, or you're gone. If you are just looking to get laid, fine. These girls are likely to be promiscuous anyways. Just don't have any illusions about a girl that eFlirts being wife material. I promise you any long term commitment with her will turn out with you getting the shortest straw.

Flirting is intended to be a real life interaction between two people that are in direct visual contact of each other in the same physical location. Period. Anything else is just fictional bullshit. Put that in a book and print it, skanks.

After eight long years, it feels good to be an American once again. To be honest, I had lost faith in my country. The nation had been hijacked primarily by white, evangelical Christians who were duped into electing a "fellow believer". I simply thought there were too many uneducated, racist, xenophobic, redneck, bible thumping hillbillies in the sticks that would never vote for a black man. That includes half of my mother's side of the family who still live in Virginia. Perhaps I'm not mistaken in holding this assessment, but I forgot one important factor. One I had not yet witnessed in my lifetime. The power of youth.

The youth of America stood up and made history last night. They are the true patriots. A true patriot is one who is critical of his country. Not someone who is submissive to it. Someone who realizes that America must share the world with everyone else and set a good example for others. A true patriot is not obsessed with blind pride, but with building a better world for all. A nation made up of different races, different ideas, and different religions trying to do the impossible. Make a fair place for all. That's something the rest of the world, even a deity, can be proud of.

On that note, it's time to set the record straight. This is not a Christian nation. It never was, and by the grace of good people, it never will be. This nation was founded by people who happened to be Christians, but they were well aware of the dangers of mixing government with religion. If this was a Christian nation the 10 commandments would become federal law. Don't believe in God? You've broken the first commandment. The death penalty for you. Don't think it could happen? In Nazi Germany, out of over 14,000 pastors and church congregations in Germany, only 800 properly discerned the evil Hitler for who he was and openly opposed him. The rest not only tolerated him, but openly praised him, promoted him, and punished anyone who failed to do the same.

There are those who claim those who criticize president Bush or those with a more liberal mindset are un-American. To them I say, "Fuck you." Be thankful you live in a country were you are free to be a lying asshole, but don't need to worry about being put to death or imprisoned. You can push the country back with your paranoia and ignorance, but ultimately you will fail. For the rest of you, who share the American dream as I do, thank you. This is a nation that makes mistakes, but never stops trying to right the wrongs of the past. A country that once enslaved a race of people, persecuted it's own citizens, and suppressed the rights of others in violation of it's own written standards.

To my Christian friends, who are few, let me offer you a piece of advice. Don't worry about it anymore. Your faith in Christ and moral behavior (however you define it) will grant you an eternity in the Kingdom of Heaven. Mathematically, the percentage of time you have spent here on earth will shrink down to an infinite number. The number 1, preceded by an ever growing number of zeros with a single decimal point at the end. Worrying about the affairs of others when you have eternal life in your future is irrational and represents a lack of faith. Enjoy living in a country where you are free to worship the faith you choose, so long as you don't infringe on the rights of others.

Hold these keys close to your heart:

• Abortion will never be illegal, and even if it was you would not stop it. Instead focus on better birth control and sex education. “Abstinence only” does not work for all. People enjoy choices.
  
• Gays will never go away, and at some point it will be proven that homosexuality is a biological phenomenon. You don't have to like them, but they have a right to pursue their own happiness as you do yours. Marriage does not belong to Christianity. Other cultures and religions have their own marital traditions.
  
• You can pray in school. You always could. If you need the entire school to pray with you, go to a private school that matches your religious preference. Life isn't fair, but you have choice, use it.
  
• Abandon the Republican party, who only uses you to get into office, knowing full well the they can't deliver the "moral" government you seek. Their true allegiance is to banks, corporations, and private businesses who wish to eliminate laws that ensure fair business practices and protect consumers.
  
• Don't let greed for money sucker you into supporting Republican tax breaks, which aren't for poor people like you. You can not eliminate taxes. Enjoy clean tap water, expressways, safe food free of industrial chemicals, and one of the best legal systems in the entire free world. We have a good life here. It costs money. You get what you pay for.
  

To show his disgust over the Bush administration, my father had not replaced the flag outside his home for the 8 years Bush was in office. Today, a new flag is flapping in the breeze. Here's hope to a better world for all, even if it means a better day for those who lie and cheat us.

Psst.... Wanna know a secret? Jayson Shawver has been reading my blog and he's not happy about it either! He wants me to remove all references to his name. Oh golly gee willakers. Jayson, if you're reading this, and I know you are, you can go jump in a volcano. You don't like what's here? Do a Jamie and file a cease and desist letter so I can get a good laugh. I've got better things to do than worry about offending some coward. Think you got a PR problem now? Keep pushing buddy. I guarantee you won't believe how far I'm willing to go.

Now, with Cyndi and Jayson out of the way, I suppose I should talk more about GeneWize and things related to Multi-Level Marketing. If a company wants to sell a high quality product or service they need to find people willing to buy from them. There are a few ways to do this. They can advertise the business via the media to attract customers. They could hire sales people who will go out and sell directly to customers. Or, they can employ a method known as Multi-level marketing.

Multi-Level Marketing, or MLM as it is known, is a sales method that uses independent people to sell a product or service. A key point to remember is that these people are NOT employed by the company itself. These people are self-employed. They either make a commission for each sale, or they directly purchase merchandise they later resell to make a profit. Being this distant from the parent company is attractive to some businesses because more of the risk and expense are absorbed by these individuals rather than the company itself. Some non-MLM businesses use this type of self-employed worker, such as Little Ceaser's where I worked as a delivery driver. The delivery driver's supply their own car and pay the expense of fuel. Drivers are paid directly by the customer for their delivery service, not Little Ceaser's. This saves the pizza company the added expense and liability of adding drivers as part of the company itself.

Many MLM based businesses do not have a very good reputation, Amway being a primary example. This is in part because the MLM method provides an easy way for a malicious business or individual to defraud people by getting them to pay a fee before they can join an MLM sales team and begin working with the company. This is why MLM opportunities like the Reverse Funnel System and GeneWize don't go into detail about the product or service you would be selling. Those people you see on YouTube talking about a particular MLM are only going to make money when you join up and send in your application fee or buy things like training materials. All the time and attention is focused on getting you excited about making money with the opportunity they have for you.

Another problem with illegitimate MLM based businesses is that it doesn't matter if the product or service being marketed is good or bad, because the real profit comes from the money collected when the marketing members join up. Many people choose to join a MLM business venture after being exposed to false advertising of the product by the parent company. The product itself could be a complete failure, but that's OK for the company, because they have already made a profit once you agreed to their terms. Remember, before deciding to sell anything, the company that provides it to you has to market it to YOU first. Can you really be sure you're getting the facts?

Before you EVER decide to take a job selling a product, you need to learn as much as you can about the product itself. Is it any good? Does it work? Would you use it yourself? Do you trust it? One thing you will notice in many of these MLM videos designed to recruit you is that little detail is given about the product itself other that being told how much money it will make you. Therein lies the problem.

If you are thinking about joining an MLM sales team, you need to be me like this guy. Few people seem to ask the right questions, but he does. He wants to know how these genetically tailored supplements actually work. He genuinely wants to know if the product he's selling is going to really work for people, so naturally he wants to know the details about the product. Details he won't get.

Yet, this man also shows us that illegitimate MLM marketing isn't for everyone. He talks about doing Multi-Level Marketing jobs before but not being able to sell a product he doesn't believe in. You can't really blame him because in many of these businesses the products are crap (Expensive resort packages with the Reverse Funnel System) or unproven (DNA customized nutritional supplements with GeneWize). Good salespeople, like my mom who works for Yellowbook, wholeheartedly believe in what they are selling. Sales jobs require such dedication to be successful or you simply won't make it. With a pyramid scheme or MLM scam, only those who are morally bankrupt and don't care if the product is real, fake, or a complete waste are able to really do well with the program. All they care about is getting more people into the game so they get a larger cut.

From and observational standpoint, the fascinating thing for me is watching how the people involved in MLM programs exercise slight of tongue. Like a shady lawyer, crooked politician, or sleazy used car salesman, they have a way of using crafty language to avoid answering direct questions or sugar coating their answers. Part of this slight of tongue involves asking the question, but never really giving the answer. Take this girl who talks about a few people asking about the GeneWize product itslef and whether or not it actually works. Though she mentions two people who she claims are qualified to answer this, she never actually gives us any hard data. She simply tells us that her "experts" speak highly of the product. The real details are hidden from us.

So, how do you best avoid scams, rip offs, and schemes? You need to find the sweet spot for skepticism. This graph will help you:

See? It's right there in the middle. You should try to stay in the sweet spot at all times. Sometimes you won't be smack dab in the middle, but as long as you stay out of the extreme edges of the blue you will avoid things like GeneWize. Don't stay in the red too long either or you'll end up starving to death because you think the government has put mind control chemicals in your food. As with most things in life, balance is the key.

(Please excuse the quality of the graph. Was using my mom's laptop, so I had to use Paint.net.)

I use my Yahoo account as a junk email address. Anytime a web page asks for my email I give it my old standby. This is a good way to reduce the amount of Spam you get in other accounts, but since I rarely check it I run the risk of missing something good like this:

From: "Cyndi Hollman" <cyndihollman@gmail.com>
To: jonah1976@yahoo.com
Sunday, July 27, 2008 4:17 PM

-----Inline Attachment Follows-----

Hey, I read your My Opera page about Jayson Shawver. Do you know anything about the new
venture he is involved in "Genewize?" I've been looking for an email for him and can't seem to find one.
Only a phone number. I'm trying to find out if this company is legit. Seems like you have
quite a bit of knowlege in this field. Have you heard anything on this company? It launches
on Aug. 1st so anything you can share would be helpful!

Thanks!

Cyndi

P.S. Do you have a webpage that you keep updated?

So, this is a few months ago, but I'm glad I finally caught it. I haven't replied to her yet, but let me take care of that right now.

Dear Cyndi,

Are you fucking stupid? How could you have read any of these posts about Jayson and then want to know the legitimacy of anything he's involved in? Reading those articles should have told anyone with a functional left brain hemisphere to stay as far away from him as possible. He's already involved in one scam, why would you be dumb enough to think he's turned a new leaf?

Everything this guy does revolves around getting other people to invest in whatever "new" opportunity he can find to pitch. He makes money not from selling the product, but from getting suckers like you to make the investment. Not only that, the only real people that are going to do well with this scam are the same types of bottom feeding assholes who don't give a shit about screwing people over.

Do I have a web page that I keep updated? Gee..... maybe something like a fucking blog? Oh, you might try the same blog you were reading to begin with. Yeah, try that. Here's an idea. Talk to Jamie and Lisa, then each of you submit a DNA sample to GeneWize. Should be the quickest way to identify the gene responsible for being a GULLIBLE DUMB ASS.

-Jonah

With that out of the way, what has Jayson Shawver been up to? It looks like the same old shit. I searched for "Genewize" and found our golden boy with little trouble. In fact, the usual suspects from the Reverse Funnel System are also here. Jonathan budd, the self appointed RFS (Reverse Funnel System) mastermind is here, except now he's pushing the "wellness industry". You like those buzz words? They give me a boner too. Speaking of boners, Katie Freiling is also here. Now, the last time I was examining this on line marketing bullshit she caught my eye as the only girl involved that I want to bang. Don't get me wrong though, that's the only thing she's got going for her. After I've given her my DNA sample I'd toss her ass right out of bed to make me a sandwich then tell her to get the fuck out of my house and take her MLM garbage with her. It's not that some men make women into sex objects, it's that some women are only good as a sex object. Katie is a marvelous example of such.

So what is the GeneWize product? It's a simple concept. Supply a sample of your DNA (try your ass pubes) and this company will analyze your genetic code and create a customized vitamin, skin lotion, or other health products that are designed just for you. One specifically tailored to meet your unique needs.

Immediately we have problems. Each of us has enough genetic code to fill an 80 minute audio CD. In total we have a whopping 25,000 to 30,000 genes to examine. Hell, the whole Genome map wasn't even complete until 2003. So 5 years later we have enough scientific data and understand enough about DNA to create genetically matched vitamins and skin products?

Fuck no. This shit belongs on Star Trek. Look at the parent company offering the product. GeneLink, currently sitting at 27 cents a share at the time of this article, having fallen steeply since early August.

Hmm, why would that be? Maybe it was this article talking about the companies plan to create GeneWize with it's "over 4,700 Independent Marketing Affiliates". Enter dipshits like Jayson, Katie, and our newest inductee to the hall of shame, Cyndi Hollman. As the stock price reflects, most people are wise enough to steer clear of this type of operation.

Be careful not to confuse this GeneLink with this GeneLink. The are two different companies. The second one is a company based in New York that sells equipment used for genetic research. The first one is the one that spawned GeneWise in order to sell magic pills.

Genetically customized products. A great idea, but it's still just that, an idea. Folks, this is no different than the tonic that snake oil salesmen would roll into town to try and sell to an audience. Scientifically formulated by smart scientists and guaranteed to slim your waistline, regrow your hair, and make your butt hole smell like a flower patch. So, do these products from GeneLink work? I don't know, but I seriously doubt it given the nature of the product itself. There is no research to prove that it is credible, and NONE of GeneLink's products are FDA approved. The science used here is simply not mature enough to claim that it can be used to create such products. I'm sure any benefit attained from these products are a result of a placebo effect, nothing more.

Want to live longer and live healthy? Stop smoking, stop getting drunk everyday, stop eating so much shit from McDonald's. Get your fat ass off the couch, walk to the store, buy some regular vitamins and see your doctor regularly. Sorry, no miracle pill, just the same boring ass common sense you've probably heard your whole life. This time, try doing it.