A Country Bumpkin Offering Sunshine

My youngest brother and youngest niece

Reading my youngest sister-in-law's latest blog entry brought me into tears. Suppressing my feelings toward my original family in Taiwan doesn't mean that I don't care any more. Maybe, I care too much and cannot bear with having to separate from my mom and two brothers very far and long, so that the only way to survive from the flood of pain is to shut down and think nothing about it. There are some moments that I doubt if it is worth it to give away my participation in my original family's growth for staying here. The thoughts break me into pieces. The best way to live on is to brush off the doubts. Here I am - brushing off the doubts again and again ... How long can I stand for it? I really don't have any idea. I am trying and trying my best to talk and think nothing about it.