Excuse me while I offend everyone.

Yes, blogs are pretty fucking stupid, and I'm including my own in this, so don't worry. Of course, I don't need to tell you this, I know you know that blogs are stupid, everyone does. They're about boring people who do boring shit, and for some unknown reason they want to share it with the world. Now, that's not to say that all blogs are boring as shit, however most of them are pretty damn boring. It seems that most blogs are about "love"; wherein someone proves that they are a clingy, insecure fuck who's a couple of weeks away from getting dropped like a stone for someone who isn't so batshit insane, then the blog turns into an insufferable emo whine-fest . If it isn't about love, a blog is typically about pseudo-intellectual bullshit that everyone ponders but no one has known or will know the answer to, yet some 13 year old with an overinflated ego will gladly answer all of life's questions with frightening assuredness, right before he bitches about how unfair his parents are. Then there's the whole copy-paste culture of blogs, where people share "interesting" links, snippets of the news, and really shitty Nickelback song lyrics to make up for their astonishingly dull personality. Seriously, no one likes these types of blogs, stop doing them, I know how to use Google and social bookmarking sites too; and trust me, I'm not going to click your goddamn Google ads, bite me.

There are many, many more types of blog themes out there which I don't have the time or the intellectual range to write about, you know that and I know that, and they all suck just as bad. The blog format really just needs to be abandoned, and I don't mean switching the format up so that you can only write one goddamn sentence at a time, that just makes it more boring. No, journals need to become personal again, so that you will be the only one who gets to laugh at your stupidity and trivial problems.

I honestly hope you didn't just waste your time reading this; cynical, whiny blogs are by far the worst types of blogs in existence, I don't even need to give any goddamn examples, they're just that bad. Web 2.0 needs to get obsolete and it needs to get obsolete right fucking now, there's way too much data out there already, it's just downright depressing.

You've probably heard many, many, many other people bitch about this, but, since 40% of the people who actively blog still do not realize this, I will re-iterate it for them:

MUSIC DOES NOT BELONG ON A WEB PAGE

PERIOD.

You should know by now that your music tastes suck, and that no one wants to listen to your terrible favorite bands. The internet was not intended to have a soundtrack, stop trying to force one on your site/blog/porn stash. I don't know what's worse, the embedded MIDI files of old, or the new flash players that suck up huge amounts of my bandwidth. It's like trying to figure out which is worse, AIDS or cancer.

Blogging is fun and self-centering, two traits I can get behind!

I wonder how many useless fags are blogging about their boring life right now...

Also, ellipsis are overused, find a less obvious way to add a dramatic pause to your text, losers.

I sure do hope I get on the front page of opera.com with a featured blog. Oh boy.