Excuse me while I offend everyone.

Alright, I know I've bitched about music on a website, and for the most part I am 100% right and you are completely wrong regardless of your position on the matter. HOWEVER, there is one song that is permissible on a website in CERTAIN cases (you better have a damn good reason), and that is Clint Mansell's Requiem for a Dream. I swear to God, this song makes anything instantly epic, no matter what the hell it is. Never before have I been so uplifted and driven by one single HTML page. All of the sudden those sparkley unicorn gifs and pictures of canvas shoes just add flavor to what is truly a superior blend. The driving pulse, the clashing background, the poorly executed semi-transparent tables, the gratuitous flash, the unnecessary JavaScript; It all comes together in an orgasmic sensory event that would crush lesser mortals with its gravity. Suddenly, the web has meaning, it becomes a throbbing, well-oiled machine with one purpose and one intent, all souls locked to their computers become one, and goddamn I'm burning through commas like some over-dramatic fifteen year old girl.

Having said that, music still has no business on a website, I don't give a shit what your excuse is, get off my goddamn bandwidth.

Now you'll have to excuse me while I beat myself mercilessly for using the word "epic", I hate that word so fucking much.