On Many Subjects

I have discovered that I have to screw up, royally, at least twice a day to remain humble. Fortunatley that is no problem.

I ran across an ad on the Internet for a clever little device, called a "Go-Girl." What is a Go-Girl? It is a pink collapsable funnel that allows a woman to unrinate while standing up without dribbling down her legs and into her terribly expensive Gucci shoes.

I was like, WTF?

Then, I thought about this for a moment and realized that being able to pee while standing up could one of the greatest feminine liberators since those crazy Libbers in the 70s burned their bras. If you are on a bender and are walking home from the bar, you don't have to squat behind the dumpster to pee, you can stand up and whiz all over like a man! If you are in a particularly dirty public bathroom and don't want to sit, then, go ahead and use your Go-Girl.

When you are done, you can put your urine soaked Go-Girl back inside of your very expensive, but cute, Coach bag right next to the Trident Gum and terribly over-priced iPhone. Imagine your friends when they rummage around in your purse to find a brush for a final touch-up before going into the hottest club in town:

"Gross! I bet you keep your diaphram in here, too."

I dunno.

Personally, I think I would much rather NOT carry around a Go-Girl. I think using my gluts as God intended is a superior solution. Unless hiking the Pike or traisping through a third world jungle. Realisticly, I think the only place it would be a good idea to use a Go-Girl would be to protect yhour nether regions when camping so as to avoid squatting on poison ivy when nature calls.

Still, they MUST have a great tag line. "You Go-Girl!"