On Many Subjects

Working as a Virtual Assistant does have plenty of perks beyond the obvious one of getting to commute a whole two seconds to get to the job site and then being able to wear my jammies all day if I want to.

Most VAs are women. A vast majority are women with small children who work from home to save on exorbitant day-care expenses. Many of those women are single moms. It is unusual to have a male Virtual Assistant, but the agency I work for has one, that I know about. There could be others.

In a IM conference that is remarkably like a chat room. The players: Kathy, Sherry, Martha, Guy and Me.

Sherry: What do you do to unwind after working all day?
Kathy: I like to go to the spa and get a massage.
The Only Guy VA in the Group: I do that, too. Hey do you girls ever get aroused when getting a massage?
Kathy: OMG! He is such a guy.
Me: Then, his question shouldn't surprise you.
Guy: No one answered me.
Martha: Yeah, it happens to me all the time.
Sherry: Me, too. I mean you lie there and someone touches you all over. But, then, I'm a single mom and it doesn't take much to get me going.
Kathy: I have a husband, but with a screaming baby in the house, I love to get away to the spa. I think it is time away from home that arouses me.
Me: What about you, Guy?
Guy: Are you kidding? I never get aroused. I am a total cheapskate first of all and having to pay that much money makes me nervous. Second, Yanni playing on the speakers is a real libio killer. Third, everything smells like lavendar.
Me: So you don't get aroused when you get a massage?
Guy: No way. It is probably because I am too old, too.
Martha: So, a massage never got you aroused?
Guy: Yeah, when I was in the drama club in high school, I used to get totally aroused when we gave each other massages. It is hard to remember your Shakespeare when you have a woody. But, then if the masseuse looked like Princess Leia in her slave girl outfit, then, maybe. Probably.
Sherry: Oh on, you did not just say that!
Martha: What do you think this is? a Locker Room?
Me: Good grief!
Guy: Stop being girls.
Me: Only if you stop being a guy.
Kathy: Do you leave a big tip if you don't get aroused at the spa?
Guy: If I got aroused, I wouldn't leave a tip.
Me: Why not?
Guy: Because that would be like a physical thumbs-up, so to speak. Job well done! I wouldn't need to leave a tip to express my gratitutde.
Me: He's right. He is a cheapskate.
Guy: I heard that!
Martha: How can you hear anything? We are in a Chat room.
Guy: Metaphorically speaking, of course. Oh, wait, we are in a chat room! I forgot. So, what are you girls wearing?