On Many Subjects

At work, the IT guys have blocked the shopping sites on the Internet. I can understand blocking the porn sites and even somewhat understand blocking game sites, but shopping???? I mean really!

They did this last year from about this time until after New Years because, of course, people are going to spend all day, every day shopping instead of working. (Not) I guess it is okay to surf as long as you don't buy anything.

But, you may ask, how did I discover this if I was shopping instead of working? I DO get a lunch break and yes, I do surf the shopping sites -- Clothes, shoes, hats, gloves, toys for grandchildren.

I am not the only one suffering from this lack...

Scarecrow: What the hell? They have blocked Amazon.
Me: That is so you can't spend the money you are earning from this company.
Dorothy: I'm going to email Oz and find out about this.
Me: NO! You email OZ and then he will know we are shopping instead of working.
Soop: He already knows if the shopping sites have been blocked.
Dorothy: I'm going to tell him that I was looking for his Christmas present during my lunch break and then, I couldn't get it.
Me: You get Oz a Christmas present?
Dorothy: Well, no, but I am going to tell him I was going to, but now I can't.
Me: I have a bad feeling about this.
Scarecrow: I think shopping online when I get home is a better solution.
Soop: Or don't shop at all.
Me: That is my plan. No one gets anything for Christmas.

Ten minutes pass

Dorothy: Oz says he doesn't celebrate Christmas because he's Jewish, so he doesn't care if I get him a present or not.
Me: I can't believe you emailed him.
Dorothy: He loves me. Oh, wait! I just got another email. He wants to know what I was going to buy him.
Me: What are yolu going to tell him?
Dorothy: A car. I am going to tell him I was going to buy him a car.
Soop: He won't believe it. He knows how much he pays you.
Dorothy: Good point. OK. I am going to tell him I was going to buy him a gift certificate... to Amazon. So he could buy me a book for my Kindle.
Me: That's a Christmas present? Kind of a one-sided present, if you ask me.

Ten minutes pass

Dorothy: Oz said, "Don't worry about the gift certificate. I'll take cash. And I won't use it to buy you a present, because I don't buy presents for employees."
Me: He doesn't sound happy.
Dorothy: Then I replied: "You can start a lilac file cabinet fund with the cash." He wrote back, "Not likely."
Me: I am a little bit worried because Oz doesn't have anything to do other than emailing Dorothy.
Dorothy: Oh, he's in a board meeting and is very bored. He appreciates the distraction, I'm sure.
Soop: It must be very lonely at the top.

Oz: Our university is below the national average for students defaulting on their student loans after graduation. That is amazing! Well done, team!
Soop: Does that mean we are almost your favorite department now?
Me: Awesome! We are almost number one.
Oz: You don't want to be number one.
Me: Why not?
Oz: It's way too much pressure.
Soop: That's right. You have to keep performing at 120%
Oz: That's why I tell people, "I don't want to be your best friend. I don't mind being in the top five, but I don't want to be the BEST friend." Way too much pressure.

Dorothy: I sent Oz an email and told him that today is my second anniversary at the university
Me: Today is your anniversary? Happy anniversary!
Dorothy: Yeah, he reponded with, "God help us all."
Me: Wow!
Dorothy: I wrote back and said, "I will take that to mean 'Happy Anniversary.'"
Me: And?
Dorothy: He replied with "You understand me so well."
Me: You both are pretty silly.
Soop: Did you tell him we still need a printer.
Dorothy: No. But I will.
Soop: He said we would have a printer by the end of the summer. That would be now. It is freaking 60 degrees in here until they finally turn on the heat.

Ten minutes pass

Dorothy: Oz says to consider this our endless summer. And then he said, "Don't forget. You ARE my second favorite department."
Soop: I guess that's what happens when we are his second favorite department.
Me: How do we get to be the number one department?
Soop: Well, for one thing, Dorothy needs to stop sending silly emails.
Dorothy: Oz loves them.
Me: Or so we hope
Soop: Well, at least Dorothy stopped asking for a lilac file cabinet.
Scarecrow: You people are out of control
Soop: I think I am going to make a sign that says: "We're Number Two!"
Me: But second place means we are losers. We are not in first place.
Soop: Ok. Then we follow it up with, "We try harder."
Me: That's already been used.
Soop: You're right. How about: Number Two and Climbing.
Me: That could work.
Soop: Dorothy, do you have any more of those colored Sharpies?
Scarecrow: You people need supervision.

How's this for a really good idea?

Parents: If you want to make certain that your daughter or son doesn't get involved too soon with opposite sex, upon meeting the object of your child's affection for the first time, simply say. "It is nice to finally meet you. I wanted to apologize to you for walking in on you when you and [insert child's name] were making out."

After the object of your child's affection leaves because they think your child cheated on them, your child will say, "I never made out with him/her in my life and now, I never will."

Smile, in that wise parent way you have and say, "I know."

I just want to point out that Opera was not my firend for at least a couple of days this week when I tried to post things that happened at work and elsewhere, but it refused to cooperate with me. I could not stay logged in to the page. Any time I did anything... like try to write a new post, I was unable to post it because Opera would log me out.

It is apparently all better now.

News of the week:

I was under the weather for a few days with the flu, but I seem to have weathered the storm, to use a clever metaphor. Then, when feeling much better, I went to my doctor for a regular follow-up because he gave me a new prescription and wanted to make certain I wasn't growing hair on the palms of my hands or anything else weird.

Because my insurace company stinks, I cannot get blood work done at the doctor's office, but I have to go to a lab. The women there are, in my experience, as close to incompetent as anyone I have ever encountered. They lost the paperwork for my doctor, so he still knows nothing more now than he did before. So, I have to go back a second time to have the same procedure done again, by the same incompetent people. This happened once before and when I mentioned it to the girl to please be extra careful because I didn't want to have to come back yet again, she threw the vial with my blood in it onto the counter and stormed out of the room. What????? The manager of the place came in and fussed at me for upsetting the little girl. I was like, "Hey, wait a minute! YOU people are the ones who lost my last specimen and/or paperwork. I didn't take it with me and drop it in the trash on the way out the door. All I did was to ask your princess if she would be careful because I am totally not into needles and pain and all that stuff and I really didn't want to have to come back here. I am certain, with your bad attitude, you will agree that seeing me as little as possible is a real plus in your life."

Not surprisingly, she agreed. I will never understand how it was MY fault that they lost paperwork and/or a specimen. What ever happened to customer service? What happened to human decency? What happened to saying "I am really sorry this happened. We will try to be extra careful."

Also, I embarassed my doctor, which was totally unintentional. My stinky insurance comapny told me I had to go to a different doctor, and I was definately not happy with that decision. Because the thinking is if you go to another doctor, then anything you have wrong with you miraculously goes away and somehow starts again as if you never had that ailment before in your life.

Twice I have been through this, where I changed doctors, then the insurance company tells them, well she can't have drugs for her arthritis that she was taking before... give her Tylenol. While Tylenol is a wonderful product and I do not object to taking it, it is hardly what I need to combat the aches and pains I live with everyday. So, for a year, I had to take nothing but Tylenol, which doesn't help Rheumatoid Arthritis very much. Only when I had reached a point where I was unable to function as a human being becaue of insufficient pharmacuetical help the insurance company agreed to pay for something a little stronger. But, they only pay for very low dose and make me work into the level where I should be. This process will take up to 3 years.

The insurance company saves money because they can delay paying for the really expensive drugs and save themselves a lot of money. Without my insurance company's help, I could not pay for the drugs that I am taking now on my own. I don't know which is worse... the insurance company or the drug company.

So, long story short, I called the insurance company and had words with a couple of people until they changed me back to the doctor I had before.

Also, the guy is a good doctor in that he really listens when a patient talks and seems to care about the overall well-being of the his patients. He has been at this a long time. The pictures hanging on the walls in his exam rooms are old and faded and at least 30 years out of date. That doesn't deter me in the least. Worn pictures on the walls tells me he is not worried about spending money on decor. That way, he won't have to pass the extra cost of fine decorating on to his patients. Thoughtful.

When I told him all of this, he said I embarassed him, which embarassed me because my reasons were not totally altruistic.

I got my hair cut yesterday and it is pretty darn short. But, it is also cute. It is a fact, that I am worried about my own comfort and could care less what any one else thinks. It is my hair and I am the one who cares for it on a day to day basis. The next time I get the crazy idea of maybe letting it grow a bit, I would like one of you to smack me in the back of the head.

I must go to the grocery store when I leave work today. Only a handful of things on the list: Cooking oil, milk, tea, bananas and bleach.

I often wonder what the check-out person things when they see an odd combination of items on the counter. Likely "What in the world does she have planned for the weekend?"

It is an established fact that if you look at a bank that has a digital time and weather display as you are driving past at a reasonable speed, you will ALWAYS see the one you are not interested in at the time.

I must be the same pen-type as half the student population because student's FREQUENTLY steal my pens. They can take the cute ones the school provides and I wouldn't care, but they don't. They come in a variety of colors--red, blue, and green.

People prefer taking my BIC(tm) Crystal pens. I can't really blame them. I prefer the Crystal, myself

Student 1: I bought a house, today.
Student 2: Really?
1: Well actually, the bank agree to let me live in their house for the next thirty years.
2: So you really did it?
1: Yes. I had the incredible urge to eat nothing but Ramen and to buy nothing that cost more than a Pez dispenser until my kids have kids of their own.
2: Homeownership. It's the American dream.
1: I kinda wish I still rented.

You probably have already heard this one, but I ran across it this morning...

Person 1: Knock knock.

Person 2: Who’s there?

Person 1: Control freak.

Person 1: Now you say “control freak who?”