My Fourth Anniversary
Tuesday, 6. January 2009, 12:21:07
I missed it, my fourth anniversary here on Opera. I have been writing since November of 2004. Maybe I should have marked it on my calendar. It passed without my noticing and without fanfare or tributes or fireworks. A calm and quiet, totally unnoticed passing.
I read a friend's blog this morning that sang the praises of another friend of their's, extolling their virtues, and praising their life, their ideas. The friend used to be a close friend of mine who has moved on to this new friend. (I realize I am using way too many adverbs, but I am not naming any names in this entry.) Moving on is not a problem, really, because everyone does, eventually, in one way or another. I was struck with a sense of loss, however, realizing that I had been left behind.
I wonder if the fault is mine. Did I not comment enough on my friend's blog often enough? Did I not say the right thing at the right time? Was I remiss in interacting? I can't help feeling I am in some way responsible for my own loss.
The excuses are many, aren't they? We get busy, life gets in the way, responsibilities and worries crop up. Are any of those good enough reasons to neglect a friend? Friends should come first, because you never know when you will need them. I suppose if there are self made purgatories, then we must live in them.
Blogs are fickle. To have people comment on your blog, you have to go out and comment on other's. Being naturally curious, people will look to see who took the time to make a comment on their blog. People want to know who noticed them, so they come to comment on your blog if you took the time to comment on their's. That is where I have been neglectful... not commenting often enough to keep my friends close to me. But, you see, life got in the way. I have been far too busy with the job I began in July, with school, with moving to a new apartment, with playing with my grandchildren. All the time neglecting those who used to care about me.
So the milestone, my fourth Opera anniversary, passed with anyone noticing. Me, included. And now, I am melancholy. I am pensive. I am remorseful.
I read a friend's blog this morning that sang the praises of another friend of their's, extolling their virtues, and praising their life, their ideas. The friend used to be a close friend of mine who has moved on to this new friend. (I realize I am using way too many adverbs, but I am not naming any names in this entry.) Moving on is not a problem, really, because everyone does, eventually, in one way or another. I was struck with a sense of loss, however, realizing that I had been left behind.
I wonder if the fault is mine. Did I not comment enough on my friend's blog often enough? Did I not say the right thing at the right time? Was I remiss in interacting? I can't help feeling I am in some way responsible for my own loss.
The excuses are many, aren't they? We get busy, life gets in the way, responsibilities and worries crop up. Are any of those good enough reasons to neglect a friend? Friends should come first, because you never know when you will need them. I suppose if there are self made purgatories, then we must live in them.
Blogs are fickle. To have people comment on your blog, you have to go out and comment on other's. Being naturally curious, people will look to see who took the time to make a comment on their blog. People want to know who noticed them, so they come to comment on your blog if you took the time to comment on their's. That is where I have been neglectful... not commenting often enough to keep my friends close to me. But, you see, life got in the way. I have been far too busy with the job I began in July, with school, with moving to a new apartment, with playing with my grandchildren. All the time neglecting those who used to care about me.
So the milestone, my fourth Opera anniversary, passed with anyone noticing. Me, included. And now, I am melancholy. I am pensive. I am remorseful.
WIDGETIZE