A re-posted re-post. The Museum of Modern Arts let an animatronic dinosaur on the loose. I can imagine people had fun with this all day!
I found this video here and they found it here.
Extinct, my ASS! from The Original Joe Fisher on Vimeo.
When I was much younger, say around 11, I had a distinct idea of what adulthood would be like. I had a whole list of things I would be able to do as an adult that were forbidden me as a child.
Ferinstance:
Drink Coffee: At some point in my tender young life, it occurred to me that adults drink coffee all the time. I never realized my parents refusing to allow me this decadent luxury was the result of them not wanting me to get hyper and bounce off the walls all day long. My paternal units prefered quiet serenity. Once I was allowed to drink coffee, which happened sometime around high school graduation, I was hopelessly addicted and a slave ever since. OK. The coffee thing DID turn out as I expected.
Become a Nurse: What better way to tie down a Doctor Meal Ticket? Marry a Doctor: If you marry a doctor, you will never have to worry about money. You will be taken care of. I didn't marry a doctor because very early in my attempt to become a nurse, I realized that I lack the compassionate, nurturing nature required to care for others in times of illness. I am compassionate from a distance, but if I get close to someone who is bleeding and yucky, I get sick, too. Most people don't want their nurse to be barfing all over them.
Get Married in Paris: I imagined a glorious white dress with a train about a mile long as I strolled down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées in Paris, with a handsome prince on my arm, a full orchestra playing the Wedding March by Mendleson. Well, I got married, but it wasn't even close to Paris. Try Folkston, GA, where you can show up and, get hitched and leave all before lunch. It's like the Las Vegas of the South East. Quit Smoking: I did that. But, I had to start smoking first. I did that. Not one of my better adult aspirations. But as a child, on those cold winter mornings when our breath would come out in white clouds, I used to pretend I was smoking. It is probably the healtiest way to do it.
Wear pantyhose: Why I ever thought THAT was a good idea is beyond me.
Have Cocktails at 5: I think I got the idea from a movie that all the chic people did this. Along with smoking, of course. Somehow, I escaped being an alcoholic who smokes three packs a day. (60 cigarettes)
Shave my legs: Why I ever thought that was a good idea is beyone me. The price of beauty. Fortunately, I am one of the most non-hairy people on the earth and I have a total of about 10 or 12 hairs on each leg that must be dealt with. Plucking is almost quicker than shaving. I rarely bother with either one, these days.
Dress up and wear a hat to go shopping: Now, there is an idea! Not a good one. Because living in Florida made the whole "wearing a hat' thing ludicrous and no one dresses up in their best chic suit to go shopping. But, I imagined shopping in Macy's in Downtown New York, with a white tailored dress, black high heels, a shiny wide black belt, black clutch purse, and a black and white hat. It was oh-so-Audrey-Hepburn. Of course, when I became an adult, I didn't look or act anything like Audrey and few people dressed for shopping. Now, Macy's has popped up in every mall in the whole country. The thrill is gone. Travel from Istanbul to Paris on the Orient Express: I haven't done that yet, but there is still time.
Play Bridge: My parents played Bridge all the time, but for Bridge, you have to have three other people. My first adult companion, my ex-hubby, didn't know who to play Bridge and had no interest in learning. Not only did I need a fourth for Bridge, I needed a second and third. I did learn how to play Bridge and I enjoyed it, by the way. But, I still need a fourth and a second and third.
Go to the Moon: I haven't done that, either, but there is still time for that, too.
Marry Charlton Heston: Other than the fact he was already happily married, it wouldn't have worked out. He is older than me. He is older than my Dad. And yes, winter/spring relationships do work, as I grew older, I realized that our ideas and political leanings are totally different. So many arguments over Gun Control. But, I am still a loyal fan and I still adore movies that star Charlton Heston. I have seen Ben-Hur about 47 times.
Live in a grand old Vicitorian Era house: A good idea until I realized how long it would take to CLEAN a grand old Victorian House.
The Divine Miss M has been away from these pages for too long. I snapped a few photos with my phone, so here are the Exclusive Miss M photos.
She is a 2 terabyte sponge who wants to know everything and see everything. We are teaching her American Sign Language in addition to her talking so she can better communicate with us.
She very tall for a baby of 14 months... 31 inches. She isn't walking yet, just almost. It is hard to get those long long legs coordinated. She is a happy baby who loves to play with her toys, chase the kitty and eat, eat, eat. Her favorite word is "MEOW."
I have had the BEST time with her lately. Her daddy had surgery and her mommy had to work, so I got to babysit several times recently. We have the most fun, together! If I knew grandchildren were this much fun, I would have had them first.
This is so weird. I get to decorate another apartment, using the same old crap I have been lugging from place to place since 2001. So how do you turn an apartment into something aesthetically pleasing to ones self and to visitors who happen to drop in, either announced or unannouced, like the guy next door who knocks to periodically check to see if I have found all my electrical outlets. He is an electrician named Vincent. What, you say, in shocked incredulity. I know. I did, too. Electricians are named Hank, or Guy, or Jim, but never, oh, never Vincent.
I digress.
At least my apartment is looking far less college-dorm after the homecoming game kegger, and more homey with that fifties aesthetic flair.
A decorator would tell me I have to update.
Decorator: This place is so negatively eclectic 50s. Dear, you really must drag yourself, albeit kicking and screaming, into the 21st century. Me: You don't like my current decor? Decorator: Decor? No one EVER had this for their decor. This would embarass Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Me: But, maybe we can just go with it. You know an eclectic positive 50s experience. A 50s Chic Thing. Decorator: Like what? You wearing a string of pearls while you Hoover the carpets? Me: Ok. Point taken. What about a 60s positive eclectic? Could we do that? Decorator: Oh god! You mean Jimi Hendricks posters and black lights? Only if you plan to stay stoned for the rest of your life. Me: Crap. Ok. So what do I have to do to update? Decorator: Well, first of all, get rid of... of... of... everything. Me: I think I will buy a Wurlitzer and play sock hop music, instead. Decorator:... Me:... Decorator:... Me: That was a joke. Decorator: A very bad joke. Now, if you insist on keeping your eclectic mess of things, we need to... we need to... we need to... I'm sorry, I can't do this. Take my advice. Pack up the dolls and the toys and get something more contemporary like a bar height table and an eclectic chic ocean blue futon cover. And that flowered mess you call a comforter has to go. Me: That's easy. I only have to turn it over and it is blue plaid on the other side. Decorator:... Me:... Decorator:... Me: I was serious about that. Decorator: I was afraid of that. Martha Stewart, you will burn in hell for this.
Most people have pets, but my least favorite pet is my pet peeve.
This has to do with automated phone answering systems.
I requested and received phone service through my cable provider, which has proven to be the bane of my existance. First of all, the phone is supposed to have voice mail, but I have been unable to set up the voicemail for the past MONTH. And to call the cable provider makes me cringe, tense up and generally want to scream... and I haven't dialed 6-1-1 yet.
So, connected to my cable provider, they start their automated system:
CP: Welcome. Para Espanol, diga dos. To continue in English say One. ME: One CP: I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. To continue in English say One. ME: (louder) ONE! CP: I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. To continue in English say One. ME: (yelling) ONE. ONE. ONE. CP: I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. To continue in English say One or press one on your keypad. Me: (pressing One on the keypad) CP: Thank you. For customer service, say "Customer Service." For questions about your bill, say "Billing." For techincal support say, "Support." Me: Support CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. For customer service, say "Customer Service." For questions about your bill, say "Billing." For techincal support say, "Support." ME: Oh, for pete's sake. Support. CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. For customer service, say "Customer Service." For questions about your bill, say "Billing." For techincal support say, "Support." ME: SUPPORT. SUPPORT!!! CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. For customer service, say "Customer Service." For questions about your bill, say "Billing." For techincal support say, "Support." Or, you can press one for customer service, 2 for billing or 3 for technical support. ME: (pressing #3) CP: Say your sixteen digit account number. ME: 12345678912345 CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Say your sixteen digit account number. ME: 12345678912345 CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Say your sixteen digit account number. ME: I'm in the Twilight Zone. CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Say your sixteen digit account number or enter it on your keypad. ME: (entering the number) CP: You entered 12345678912345, if that is correct say One, if that is incorrect, say Two. Me: One CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. You entered 12345678912345, if that is correct say One, if that is incorrect, say Two. ME: What language do you speak? CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. You entered 12345678912345, if that is correct say One, if that is incorrect, say Two. ME: Is there a human being anywhere in the area? CP: I cannot find that account number. Please enter your 16 digit account number, now. ME: (entering 12345678912345 on the keypad) CP: You entered 12345678912345, if that is correct say One, if that is incorrect, say Two. Me: (speaking very slowly and very carefully) ONE CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. You entered 12345678912345, if that is correct say One, if that is incorrect, say Two. Me: I am stuck in a time loop. Taht has to be the answer. CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. You entered 12345678912345, if that is correct say One, if that is incorrect, say Two. ME: ONE. Why bother because it doesn't matter what I say, you are too stupid to understand me. CP: I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. I will transfer you to a customer service representative. ME: Thank you!
Call disconnects instead of transferring me to a customer service representative.
Speaking to the dial tone. "No thank you, I really don't want voicemail on my phone afterall. I have a better idea. I will just move to another state where this kind of thing doesn't happen."
To Evelyn after hanging up the phone: "Maybe there aren't any people left on the planet. Maybe that's why I can't get through. If that is the case, then I don't need voicemail, anyway."
Friend: I pretty much have a great respect for all of God's creations, but ... flies? F: driving me nuts F: big ol dumb fly keeps terrorizing me F: I'd let him out the door, but'm thinking MDK Me: MDK? F: Murder Death Kill Me: LOL Me: My current campaign is against ANTS and FLEAS. Ants in the kitchen and fleas on the cat F: I'm itching just thinking about fleas ME: Imagine poor Evelyn. I do a flea comb on her like twice a day. Me: She is happy about that. F: Likes the attention, I imagine. Me: I don't like to use insecticides because I can't imagine it is pleasant for the cat. If I can taste it just putting it on her, I can imagine what it is like for her. So I do it the old fashioned way F: This fly is orbiting and bumping into my head M: that's funny! F: murder death kill M: I know it's annoying, but, it's funny F: I wouldn't mind if he/she just hung out, but it's touching me! ick yuck Me: oh no. what? F: I remember an old episode of Popeye where he destroyed a whole house to kill a fly Me: I will let you go so you can MDK the fly F: Crap! I missed. I tried hitting it with a book. I snuck up behind it and whap! The fly is flying again. Me: When a fly starts flying, they take off backward and they can see behind them better than in the front F: So you're a fly expert? Me: Just trying to help F: I'm obviously not as smart as a fly. I came at it from the front just like you said. It's still flying. You gave me some bad advice. Me: Maybe it is really an alien. F: I wish you hadn't said that. Now, I can't kill it. I am going to have to sleep in the living room. The fly can have the bedroom.
after ten minutes... F: Ok. I'm back and the fly is still here. You're right. It's an alien. It is walking over the keyboard and typing it's doctorial thesis. Me: F: I am going to chance it and sleep in the bed. Too bad. I would rather MDK the fly/alien. Maybe I will watch a guy movie where something gets blown up, instead. Me: You and your new roommate have a good evening. I am going to bed. F: Wait! How long does a fly live? Me: Only two weeks. So it is a short term roommate. F: Two weeks? I'll be nutz by then. That's it. I'm killing the fly tonight. Me: You and your new friend have a nice evening. F: I wonder if I have a fly swatter. There has to be one here somewhere. Me: Good night! F: Or maybe I can shoot it. Me: Good night! F: Napalm. That will work. F: Hello? Are you there? What about a flame thrower? Me: Your place will look like Popeye's house before this is finished. F: That's where I got some of my best ideas.
My beautiful #1 daughter came to visit me this past weekend.
It was an interesting time, to say the least. First, she has left her Hubby, so I will have to change my sitcky post, again.
But, her spirits are indefagitable. It is always so difficult to end a relationship, but she feels this one is beyond repair. I won't go into a lot of details here, because they are not my details to share.
She brought a few things from her house for me... a marble cutting board, a picture for the wall, which is a copy of one of my favorite paintings--The Baths at Caracalla, by Alma Tedema. Photo Credit: Origianlly uploaded at Art.com
It is framed in an ornate gold frame with very tastful mattings.. It is a poster, but I love it.
My very favorite framed poster has broken glass, but as soon as I can afford to the glass repaired, it will come here, too. It is called Expectation, by the same artist. Photo Credit: Orginally uploaded at The Art of Europe
Expectation defines me and my life on so many levels, but it's not bad living in a state of perpetual expectation. Hope always springs eternal. But, I got off track...
My Dad made a stained glass panel depicting cowboys and I hung in the window by the front door because the view from that window is simply the apartment next door, but it has lots of light coming inside, so my cowboys look very nice.
#1 also brought me another group of my Barbie dolls. Only 29 (of 61) are on display in my apartment. I have reached Barbie MAX... which means I can't squeeze another one in here without things looking very cluttered. Right now, the four display sections are tastefully done.
After living in storage, the hair gets matted down and the dresses are flat, so #1 and I spent an evening combing Barbie hair, changing clothes, etc. I am well pleased with the result.
#1: Do you realize we are grown women, sitting on the floor, playing with Barbie dolls? Me: Yes. So what? #1: This is an obsession with you, you know. Me: What is? #1: All these dolls. It is a little freaky, all those eyes staring at you. Me: I don't think it is freaky or an obsession. It is just a reflection of my appreciation of beauty. Barbie represents the beauty that is found inside and outside a woman. #1: Three Barbies are an appreciation of beauty. 61 is an obsession. Me: Geez, you act as if I went to the store and picked them all up today. Remember, many of them were gifts. Friends and family members don't have to worry about what to get me for Birthdays or any other holiday. I come with a built-in gift list. #1: There is that. You did make it easy for us. Me: And some of these girls are expensive. I swear, a cocaine addiction would be cheaper. #1: Wait! You're not putting that dress on that doll are you? Me: Well, I was going to... #1: What was all that crap about appreciating beauty? Give me that doll. I will put nice clothes on her. Me: So, you do like my dolls and you really don't think they are freaky. #1: Yes, I do. I couldn't sleep in a room that is filled with dolls. They would stare at me all night and I would stare back at them. Me: Then why are you helping me to fix them, now? #1: How many growqn up women get to go to their Mom's house just to play with Barbie dolls? It is totally cool and I don't have to worry about dolls staring at me all night or people thinking I'm a freak for having 61 Barbies. Me: And you said I was the one with the problem.
The Tree of Ténéré or L’Abre du Ténéré was the world’s most isolated tree - the solitary acacia, which grew in the Sahara desert in Niger, Africa, was the only tree within more than 250 miles (400 km) around.
The tree was the last surviving member of a group of acacias that grew when the desert wasn’t as dry. When scientists dug a hole near the tree, they found its roots went down as deep as 120 feet (36 m) below to the water table!
Apparently, being the only tree in that part of the wide-open desert (remember: there wasn’t another tree for 250 miles around), wasn’t enough to stop a drunk Libyan truck driver from driving his truck into it, knocking it down and killing it!
What are the odds of that happening? The only tree in 250 miles and someone hits it with a truck?!?!?!
Capt. Kirk (who pauses in his speech for no apparent reason): Mr. Spock, what are the... odds of someone hitting... the only... tree in two hundred... fifty miles and killing... it? Mr. Spock: I would estimate the odds as being 4 million 850 thousand, 6 hundred 28 to one. Capt. Kirk: 4,850,628 to one? Mr. Spock: Yes Captain. Capt. Kirk: How... did you... arrive at that.. figure? Mr. Spock: I took into consideration the number of square miles between trees, the estimated population of the region, the number of vehicles in the same area, the number of taverns, the number of people who are detained for driving while inebriated, the curvature of the Earth and the size of the hole in the ozone layer. Capt. Kirk: You mean you... didn't include in your calculations the... global-warming factor? Mr. Spock: Indeed I did, Captain. Global warming has increased the size of the desert and made it much drier than in past centuries, thereby isolating the tree in the first place. Capt. Kirk: If the... odds are that great, Mr. Spock, how... do you explain someone hitting the only... tree in the area? Mr. Spock: I don't attempt to offer explanations, Captain. I only offer the facts. Captain Kirk: If... you cannot explain... this, why offer the... facts to begin with? Mr. Spock: To do that, Captain, I would first have to ascertain the motivation behind the man driving the truck, taking into consideration the time of day, the angle of the sun, where his ruling planet was located at that precise moment and if he was abused as a child. Captain Kirk: Then, why didn't... you give... me... that information? Mr. Spock: Because, Captain, you asked for the odds and not the reasons behind the action. Captain Kirk: You are an annoying Vulcan. Mr. Spock: Yes, Captain. Dr. McCoy is fond of telling me that on a regular basis.
What do you call the crazy math scientists use to caluculate the rate of global warming?
Al-Gore-ithms.
But, it is interesting to read, yet again, that the scientists may be totally wrong on this issue. It is not the increasing of temperatures world-wide that makes the weather more radical than it was a hundred years ago, but rather the DIFFERENCES in temperature that cause storms and insane weather.
OK. The earth is about 4.5 billion years old, give or take a half billion years. Weather has been recorded for the last 100 years, give or take 50 years. How much is a billion?
To put it in a different perspective, a billion is a thousand million.
To place it in a better perspective, a billion seconds ago, it was the year 1959.
Humans first learned to write 252 billion seconds ago.
A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
If you count one number a second without stopping until you reach a billion. That task would take you 31 years, 259 days, 1 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds.
Reading that, suffice it to say a billion is a REALLY BIG NUMBER and scientists have been measuring global temperatures for about 1/10,000,000, give ot take a zero or two, of the time the Earth has been around and they have the arrogance to say that global warming is a happening, a reality, a fact.
I dunno. I'm not convinced. Maybe I need to study more Al-Gore-ithms.
I was trying to think of something to write today when my #1 daughter took care of the subject matter for me. She IMed me while I was in the planning stages and totally changed my direction. I am not too proud to grab inspiration wherever it may be.
#1: Hey! Me: Hi #1: You know how when you hear something really funny and you blow milk out of your nose you laugh so hard? Me: Graphic, but yes. #1: That video you sent me made me mess up my nice clean computer screen. It was freaking hilarious. Me: You mean the Crazy Frog Dance video? #1: Yep. That's the one. Me: I just love that kid in the back. #1: Me, too. I want to kiss him right on the cheek. Me: You do that and he will never dance the same, again. He will be forever changed by the experience. #1: How do you mean? Are my kisses that good? Me: You take a group of five year olds and ask them if they can dance and they all raise their hands, jump to their feet and dance about like deranged maniacs. That same group of kids at the age of 16 will stand on the guy's wall or the girl's wall respectively during the Sadie Hawkins dance and wish they were five again so they could dance like no one cares. You kiss that kid and he will know people are watching and stop dancing forever. He is right in between the dance-like-you-don't-care-stage and the I-am-never-dancing-again stage. #1: Maybe not. Me: Why do you say that? #1: He may be one of those guys who realizes that dancing will get him girls. Me: He is a total nerd. No way that will happen. He already is probably the greatest computer genius of the 21st century. Computer geniuses don't get girls even if they can dance like John Travolta and J-Lo's love child. They are too busy writing code and plotting how to take over the world. #1: Did you ever see Revenge of the Nerds? Me: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I take back everything I have just written.
I have been tagged by SqueakyCat, AzureTimm and Runner68. Now, I am going to TAG others... Who will be my victim? Be afraid. Be very afraid!
pick up the book you are reading...turn to page 123 and post on your blog the fifth paragraph. put title and author of book... and post it on your blog of course! ...and then tag five others...
"What do you want in return?" Micah asked it in a whisper that held an edge of desperation, as if we both knew that whatever I ask, he would do it.
The long awaited arrival of the Divine Miss M is here. I saw them when they drove right past our apartment, but #3 was on the phone to Clover, giving her final landing instructions. Then, they did a loop around the complex and finally found a place to park the SUV with a trailer in tow. Precision operation all around, I might add.
The Clover opened the door to the SUV and she got out of the driver's side. #2 was in the back seat with HER. After a brief greeting to son and daughter-in-law, they finally released the CUTEST BABY EVER from her car seat prison.
Then, she was mine. Clover handed her to me and I held the little girl in my arms for the first time. It was like the doors of heaven had just opened up when the baby gave me a very brief look and the tiniest smile. There were, after all, too many things going on. #3 was unhitching the trailer so that the poor belabored SUV could rest. Lady Di and Clover were introducing theremselves to each other because they had never met. Clover had never met #3, either so, there were more introductions. Then #2 and Clover began unloading part of their wares that make life comfortable.
And Miss M and me? We watched, both of us fascinated by the whole process. Then, we came into the apartment and there were so many new things to see. I took Miss M on a tour and showed her my bedroom, my bathroom, her Uncle's bedroom and bathroom, the kitchen, the living room. Then, we played pass the baby, everyone getting their chance to hold her. She was a real trooper and took all the admiration in stride, as if it were expected and more than that, welcomed. Her mom put her on the floor and because the little one was released from bondage after a ten hour ride in the car, she played and tried to crawl and wiggled and giggled.
The CATZ? Kyta and Alastor are still a little bit put out in that they were separated from their family and their home in the first place. Alastor recovered quickly and was his arrogant self in no time, barely allowing Clover to hold him and pet him. Kyta hid under the bed, there being way too much excitment for our little Egyptian Temple Cat. This morning, she is wandering about my computer desk and head-butting my hand so I will hold her and cuddle her and tell her that life is still good.
I had forgotten this, but baby smell is the best smell in the world. She smells so fresh and so alive. Her hair is like the finest spun golden silk and her blue eyes are huge and inquistive. She sees everything. The Divine Miss M from just pictures, is now the Most Excellently Curious Miss M who is more inquisitive and curious than Frodo Baggins.
Then, the little girl, after a very hard day, drank a comforting bottle of milk presented to her by her daddy, ate some baby guava from a small container while I held her and Mommy spooned her full of food, wrestled as her mom tried to put her into pajamas, the task finally accomplilshed when Lady Di lent a hand, and then fussed because she was ready for bed.
Her schedule is all screwed up because she is a Hawaiian baby and here in Florida, we are several time zones away. But, she will adjust to Eastern Standard Time pretty soon. She is a baby! The most malleable creature on Earth. As long and Mommy and Daddy are doing it, then she will think its okay and she will do it, too.
A truly amazing evening. And I did I tell you how wonderful a new baby smells?
Finding inspiration on a day to day basis can be really hard to do sometimes.
I was sitting here, at my beloved computer, wondering what to write about and it occurred to me that sometimes I have really boring days. Like yesterday. Oh, stuff happened, but not anything noteworthy. I say that because I assume no one wants to know what I had for lunch. (A Texas Patty Melt and Hashbrowns from Waffle House, with the Texas Patty Melt on regular bread instead of Texas toast and the hashbrowns a bit over done, but only on the bottom. Hey, it is a Waffle House. Not a freaking five start restaurant.)
What about dinner? I had lasagna at Johnny Carino's. It was really good, but they give you enough food to feed a hungry lumberjack, so I had leftovers to bring home--funny how they still call that a "doggy bag" when they know that no American in his right mind would take home five-star rated lasagna and feed it to the dog. Oh no! If I had a dog, I wouldn't give him my leftovers, I would give him very expensive designer dog food. I know this because this is what I give to my cat, Evelyn. She gets very expensive designer cat food.
But, you may be thinking one of several things right now. Why did I go to a restaurant for lunch and dinner on the same day? A number of factors, really.
It could be that I am fed up with cooking and never want to see the inside of a kitchen again. Or, it could be that the kitchen was still full of dirty unwashed dishes. How about this one? I have suddenly found several million dollars and I can now afford to eat out every meal (But any thinking person knows that is not true because if I just found about a mllion dollars, I likely would not eat at Waffle House.) The real truth is, my Mom and Dad are visiting the vicinity this week.
They are staying at a hotel in the heart of Tampa, which is just across the bay from St. Petersburg. Or at least they have been there since Thrusday. Today, I am taking them to a quaint little hotel here in St. Pete that is loaded with atmosphere and they give you a FREE breakfast with your room. Awesome!
The Tampa Hotel has been their lodging for the past three days because Dad was here for a convention. A Moose Convention. No, not a northern tier state Moose, but a fraternal organization Moose. I know they have Moose Clubs in Britian, but I don't think there are any in the rest of the world. So, while Dad was in meetings, Mom and I went shopping... for two days!
My treasures included a new blouse, a pair of pants, a light-weight sweater, a Barbie doll and a pumpkin.
The Barbie Doll is so that I can have one in my room, here at #3's apartment. My entire collection is in a storage locker in Ocala, Florida and I was feeling VERY lonely. The pumpkin is for... um.... well... maybe a pie. Maybe a jack-o-lantern. It is simply a reminder that cooler weather WILL eventurally get here. Really.
And all of that to say, who knew I could write so much when I have absolutely nothing to say?
I know most of you have gotten an email similar to this one:
To: k4@blahblahblah.com From: lestradal@supermailing.be Subject: CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
Dear friend,
I hope that this mail will not be an embarrassment to you. Listen and read carefully, I found your contact from a business journal and that is why I have decided to involve you in this transaction.
I was a woman of substance and of great importance to my nation and the society in general. I will not entertain any act of unseriousness from you in this transaction. You must take instructions from me at blah blah blah blah ...
OK. Here's the scam. You read an email that is about twice the length of War and Peace that gives you every detail of this person's astronomically boring life so you will feel sorry for them for having to live through a coup of Biblical proporations in their tiny little country and now they have to deposit their funds in a USBank and they need the assistant of an HONEST American citizen to help them out.
Why don't these people just cut to the chase, and give us the bottom line?
To: k4@blahblahblah.com From: lestradal@supermailing.be Subject: CAN YOU HELP ME OUT
Dear Friend,
If you deposit $10,000.00USD in my PayPal account, I will deposit $1,000,000.00USD in your PayPal account.
Love always, Down and Out Refugee in Botswana.
See how simple that is? Geez, I may actually do it to keep from having to read about their boring little life and how tough they have it.
K4sMom: We just found out we can take our cell phones on the cruise with us and they will work, no matter where we are. Me: Don't do that. Mom: Why? Me: Do you know what the roaming charges will be? Mom: Roaming charges? Me: Yes. They charge per minute when you are out of the country. Like $4.00 or $5.00 a minute. Mom: But, they told us we could call other people with cell phones on the ship. Me: I know. For about $5.00 a minute, you can. Mom: But, why would it be roaming if someone is just down the hall? Me: Trust me. It is. Mom: Well, that's just crazy. Me: Mom, do me a favor and leave your cell phone home. Mom: I can't call you from the Cayman's and say "Wish you were here?" Me: No. Don't call me. Mom: What good is a cell phone if you don't use it? Me: You rarely use it when you are at home. Why would you suddenly want to use it when you are on vacation? I would think you had a lot of other things to distract you. Mom: There are a lot of things to do on the ship. Me: Then, don't worry about it. Leave your phone at home. Mom: What if I have an emergency? Me: 9-1-1 doesn't respond to calls out to sea. Use the phone on the ship. Mom: What if the ship is hijacked? Me: The Coast Guard will take care of it. Mom: What if we hit an iceberg? Me: There is small chance of that while you are in the Caribbean. Mom: But what if... Me: Ok. Take the phone. Just don't use it unless you hit an iceberg, of course. Mom: What about being hijacked. Me: Ok. If you are hijacked, you can call me. Mom: I can't believe you won't let me call you from the Cayman's. Me: OK. Call me from the Cayman's. Just plan your conversation carefully and make it really short. Mom: Something like, "Hi, we are having a great time, bye." Me: Yep. That'll work. Mom: Forget it. I will just leave my cell phone at home. Me: Oh, brother!
I Googled my birthday to see if anyone famous shared a birthday with me. I knew about Marilyn Monroe and Morgan Freeman, but this list is amazing! FYI: I just listed the people I had heard of.
Dante-Poet Brigham Young-Religious Leader Andy Griffith-Actor Heidi Klum-Model Jackie Stewart-Racing car driver Alanis Morissette-Singer Rene Auberjonois-Actor Ron Wood-Rolling Stones Cleavon Little-Actor Pat Boone-Singer Reverend Ike-Evangelist Frank Morgan-The Wizard of Oz Robert Cecil-Earl of Salisbury, English prime minister, 1598-1612
Ever since really bored scientists decided that the Earth is, indeed, heating up and we are all going to roast in a cauldron of boiling hot lava because our planet will turn into a seething, roiling, molten ball of rock, I have wondered, is it really true? How can scientists predict what will happen in a 100 years or a 1000 years when they can't get tomorrow's weather prediction correct?
Ok. Other than the fact that temperatures have been recorded for only the past 150 years which is a drop in the ocean compared to the 4.5 BILLION years the Earth has been around, scientists still maintain that the planet is doomed. And they further attest that humans are the real reason for the demise of the only home we have in this vast universe. It is our self-destructive nature that is causing this crisis, catastrophy or whatever you call it. Personally, I think warming a 1/3 of a degree Celsius in a 150 years is a bit alarmist. But, who am I to question the best scientific minds of the 21 Century?
I pondered all of this while trying to munch on a bowl of Ramen Noodles (Beef Flavored)for my lunch. I have reached a startling conclusion, while waiting for what seemed like HOURS for the noodles to cool enough to be edible without scorching the entire inside of mouth.
Breaking news: GLOBAL WARMING IS CAUSED BY RAMEN NOODLES.
I am thoroughly convinced that each of the curly noodle strands harbors a minuture thermonuclear plant inside that perpetuates the heat from the noodles far longer that other cooked objects of similiar weight and mass.
So, drive your cars all you want and eat fewer Ramen Noodles and we will see a startling drop in the surface temperature of this planet! I, of course, will continue to eat Ramen Noodles because they are SOOOOOOO tasty and it is okay for me to do so, beacuse I am still in college!
Have you ever gotten up in the morning and said to yourself, "There just isn't enough bubble wrap in the world."
I know I do, several times a week. So for those of us who want more bubbles to pop, here is my piece of BUBBLE WRAP that I would love to share with you.
Sidebar: Is there bubble wrap in Europe? Asia? Australia? Antartica? South America? Micronesia?
(photo credit: Copyright © 2001, Peter Krohn) 
The adorable little Miss M and Daddy 
The Whole Family!
The prettiest family EVER!
Look at all the smiles!
WIDGETIZE