On Many Subjects

The historic triangle in Virginia proved to be the stomping ground for my vacation travels with my Mom and Dad and Digitaljon, The Divine Miss M and her Mom and Dad.

The whole gang trudged up and down historic avenues, taking pictures, oooing and ahhhhing.

Yes, most of us owned digital cameras, but everyone invariably forgot to bring them. So, the tourist photography was done with camera phones.

I believe this is the wave of the future.

Me: Ok, everyone line up so I can get a picture.
Stranger: But that is a phone, not a camera.
Me: I know.
S: You can't get a decent tourist shot with a camera phone.
Me: But, it's all I have with me.
S: You look utterly ridiculous.
Me: Hey, would you mind taking a photo of all of us? You just point the camera phone and press that button.
S: Certainly!
Whole Gang: CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSE!
S: Dammit. I only took a photo of my thumb.
Me: That's the danger of owning a camera phone.
S: Let's all try this again.
Whole Gang: CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSE!
S: Dammit. It is a photo of my forefinger, but you can just make out the top of someone's head right there.
Me: Once more try? Please?
S: All right, but I make no promises. Ready! Aim! FIRE!
Whole Gang: CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSE!
Me: How did that one turn out?
S: Well, no appendages, but I moved the camera and only got a photo of the tree tops.
Me: OK. Don't anyone move. Stranger, you stand over there and I will take the shot.
Whole Gang: CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSE!
S: But, now you have a stranger in your photo.
Me: I am going to PhotoShop you out and put me in.
S: Tourist Technology is wonderful.

K4sMom: We just found out we can take our cell phones on the cruise with us and they will work, no matter where we are.
Me: Don't do that.
Mom: Why?
Me: Do you know what the roaming charges will be?
Mom: Roaming charges?
Me: Yes. They charge per minute when you are out of the country. Like $4.00 or $5.00 a minute.
Mom: But, they told us we could call other people with cell phones on the ship.
Me: I know. For about $5.00 a minute, you can.
Mom: But, why would it be roaming if someone is just down the hall?
Me: Trust me. It is.
Mom: Well, that's just crazy.
Me: Mom, do me a favor and leave your cell phone home.
Mom: I can't call you from the Cayman's and say "Wish you were here?"
Me: No. Don't call me.
Mom: What good is a cell phone if you don't use it?
Me: You rarely use it when you are at home. Why would you suddenly want to use it when you are on vacation? I would think you had a lot of other things to distract you.
Mom: There are a lot of things to do on the ship.
Me: Then, don't worry about it. Leave your phone at home.
Mom: What if I have an emergency?
Me: 9-1-1 doesn't respond to calls out to sea. Use the phone on the ship.
Mom: What if the ship is hijacked?
Me: The Coast Guard will take care of it.
Mom: What if we hit an iceberg?
Me: There is small chance of that while you are in the Caribbean.
Mom: But what if...
Me: Ok. Take the phone. Just don't use it unless you hit an iceberg, of course.
Mom: What about being hijacked.
Me: Ok. If you are hijacked, you can call me.
Mom: I can't believe you won't let me call you from the Cayman's.
Me: OK. Call me from the Cayman's. Just plan your conversation carefully and make it really short.
Mom: Something like, "Hi, we are having a great time, bye."
Me: Yep. That'll work.
Mom: Forget it. I will just leave my cell phone at home.
Me: Oh, brother!