On Many Subjects

It's that time of year again! I admit. I LOVE Christmas. I LOVE Christmas decorations. I took a hiatus from Christmas for several years and, amazingly enough, I still had money in January. So that is a plus. But, even though I didn't go through the trappings of the holiday, I watched It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas on TV. Over and over. Last year, I broke with that No-Christmas tradition and put up a tree.

I loved Christmas as a child, except then, I thought Santa Claus MUST be the patron saint of janitors because he wasn't allowed to visit our house unless it was totally cleaned from cellar to dome. (We lived in an American Ranch style home, in Florida, so there was no cellar or dome.) Be that as it may, every nook and cranny, every speck of dust, every tiny mark that announced the home was less than perfectly clean had to be removed or NO SANTA! What a pain for a kid to endure. "Gee, Mom, couldn't Santa come here just ONCE without us having to bleach the bathtub. I mean, I don't think Santa even goes to the bathroom while he's here." There was always the possibility that Santa might have to take a leak and our house, having the reputation of being the cleanest one on his route, would be the home of choice. So, we bleached the tile in the bathroom, cleaned the dust off the tops of the door frames, and removed and cleaned the heater vents. A house that was so clean, Santa would not be embarrassed... and he had better leave those reindeer outside because my mother would have NEVER tolerated them marking up her nice clean floors. (And NO, Mom, I didn't get the Internet just to make you cry.)

But, finally, the house sparkled with cleanliness and the tree was put up and the manger scene was pulled out of the box and the three wise men adorned the coffee table. Christmas was getting closer and Santa would visit after all.

When my Mom and Dad moved into the retirement community, they entrusted me with the family's Christmas decorations, which I promptly lost in one move or other, so now, I have to replace all those wonderful trappings of the Holiday.

And here is my dilemma. I have recently started a new job and am I, in a word, broke. Busted. By the time I got the job, I owed everybody and his dog money, plus most of my extra cash has been going into the CAR FROM HELL that regularly leaves me stranded. So, I want to buy new Christmas decorations for my apartment, but I don't want all these people I owe money to saying, "She can afford to put tacky Christmas lights in her window, but she can't send me any money."

So, maybe the solution is to put the Christmas decorations INSIDE and leave the lights out of the windows so no one will know that I spent money on tacky Christmas decorations instead of paying off a bill or two.

T'is the season to be jolly, afterall.