On Many Subjects

On the phone with my son, #2:

#2: I can't believe how beautiful she is. I just sit and stare at her because she is so beautiful.
Me: Oh gosh, I KNOW! I can't wait to hold her.
#2: I think she is prettier than me, even.
Me: I agree and I never thought I would say that about my children because I thought the three of you were the prettiest babies EVER.
#2: Well, we were until Baby M was born.
Me: She is even prettier than Brad and Angelina's baby.
#2: Why does that surprise you?
Me: It didn't. Now, I want lots of hard copies of the baby pictures so I can put them in my wallet.
#2: Are you going to be on of those grandmothers who show off pictures of their grandchildren?
Me: Hell, yes! I am going to hold up the lines in Walmart, frequently. The check out girl will see Baby M's picture when I write my check and I have to show her my license and she will be all. "Awwwwww, isn't she cute?" and I will be all, "Yes, she is gorgeous. Prettiest Baby ever!" and she will be all, "She is cute! You must be so proud," and I will be all, "Yes, I am very proud. Do you want to see some more?" and she will be all, "Yes, I would love to."
#2: And then people behind you will get mad at you.
Me: Yeah, I know. I can hear it now... A guy with a Jack Nicholson voice hollering at me, "Lady, can you pick up the pace a little? People are starting to think we work here."
#2: Then what will happen?
Me: I will show Jack the pictures of Baby M and he will be all, "Awwwwww, I didn't know the baby was THIS beautiful. No wonder you are showing her off!"

So, in honor of Father's Day, here are some pictures of Baby M and my son... oh, and the dog, Laika.