On Many Subjects

Niece, 9 years old: Whatchya writing?
Me: A book
9: What's it about?
Me: Couples
9: Couple of what?
Me: Men and women
9: What about them?
Me: Their relationships
9: What kind of relationships?
Me: Their personal relationships.
9: What's that mean?
Me: The relationshiop between married people.
9: Is there sex in the book?
Me: What are they teaching you at school?
9: I'm learning about the Geography of the Ukraine, Applicable Physics, Music Theory, Beginning Calculus, and Reading. I also have PE [physical education], but I hate that.
Me: What grade are you in? Second year college?
9: (laughing) No! silly! I'm in 4th grade. In the gifted program.
Me: Well, done!
9: So, is there sex in your book?
Me: You may be in gifted but I question whether you are emotionally equipped to handle what I'm writing.
9: You mean I have to wait 'till I'm older?
Me: Yes.
9: My Mom said the same thing when I asked her if I could read Valley of the Dolls.
Me: Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You may not like it once you get here.
9: But, being grown up is cool. You can do anything you want.
Me: No, you can't. I have to get up and go to work everyday and sometimes, I just don't want to. But, I go anyway.
9: Well, just stay home when you don't want to go to work.
Me: Can't. You have to work to earn money, so you have a home to live in and food to eat and electricity and all the other nice things of life.
9: But working is more fun than school.
Me: Don't bet on it.
9: I still want to be grown up.
Me: I know. All kids do. And when you're grown up, you wish you were a kid again.
9: Except my Dad. Mom says he never grew up.
Me: Did she?
9: Yep. And she said he is childish.
Me: You shouldn't be telling me this.
9: I know. It's gossiping.
Me: Then, don't do it.
9: Ok. So, is there sex in your book?