Friday, 22. September 2006, 22:19:12
It’s been quite some time since either of us has been here. Well I lost my job after the company I worked for closed the local department, this has been a huge blow because my internet access was also lost for a while; however, we kept in touch because of a kind friend from my local church.
However, It has meant that what time I have had was so limited I didn’t use it up here until now.
Well, We have almost raised enough money via the church and our website so that I can visit Gabrielle sometime in November for about four days. We are both so excited and just want to thank everyone who has donated something.
On my return I hope to start a new job although again it is minimum wage but it’s better than loosing contact again. Gabrielle, is due to have an operation at the end of this month and I wanted to be there to give her my support, but that’s not to be. But a few days in November, what can I say.
Well my time here is almost up, so once again, thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts and words. It help to keep us going.
Saturday, 5. August 2006, 13:20:50
Why are there so many lonely people in this world?
Since we began our journey, we have discovered something, which has surprised us both. The number of lonely people out there. We have uncounted so many yet why haven’t they found someone, found each other. Well maybe I have the answer.
It because of this world, this life we live in. It is designed to keep people apart. To force then to live as separate individuals. To be alone. Why would we do this, well because it is out of our hand, out of our control, you see, it takes money to bring people together, and some of the loneliest in our world are the ones furthest from us. The ones furthest away.
No money means no love. And yet I am not talking about huge sums; no, I am talking about just having enough, enough to be with the one you love. Yet this world, Well it is designed to keep people apart.
I am sad today, because I know I am not the only lonely person in this world, who has a chance at happiness yet may never be able to take that chance because of the big ‘M!’
Friday, 7. July 2006, 20:55:34
Gabrielle and Nathan
Well once again it been a while since either of us were able to add something. But time and money are both so limited.
I sit here at my local library, because it’s free, that’s the only time I have to come here and add something to this page. I sit here fighting back the tears. I’m a guy in my late 30’s and I am fighting back these tears.
I found the woman of my dreams, my soul mate. But she is still 3000 miles away. Sometimes, moment like this, I think she will always be 3000 miles away. I think this is all we will ever have and me heart break. Why couldn’t I have been born over there, or she over here?
Is this some cosmic joke, we find each other only to be denied the chance of happiness together. I wished I knew.
I sit here and look around. Ordinary people living ordinary lives, that all we want. That’s all. I sit here and I must apologise to those who are reading this, because it must sound so self absorbed. Yes, it is, and I am shameful of that because there are people in this world in far worse situations. I have someone who loves me. We may never touch, but she loves me. And I her.
I sit here and wonder, what life would have been like without Gabrielle. Well yes, I do, I know it would be so much simpler. I’m nothing special, in fact, I reached this point where I thought I would never meet anyone. I thought I would spend the rest of my life alone, sitting here alone.
But then, and I still don’t know how. But we met, we found each other. We talked and talked and we just fell in love, I don’t even know when that moment happened, but we just feel in love and here we are. Talking every day, laughing, joking, enjoying each other company. But underneath all of this, we know. We know the truth.
I’m sitting here in the library, I’m 39, a guy and all I want to do is sit here and cry.
I love you Gabrielle, if I have to, I will struggle until the end of time to hold you in my arms
Gabrielle and Nathan
Tuesday, 27. June 2006, 00:58:48
It taken some time and patients but we have finally posted a web page. Thanks to all involved and even bigger thank you’s and our love go out to the one person who has helped make all of this possible. You don’t want your name published but you have our gratitude.
It’s has been a while since either one of us has had access to this page. We have used most of our now limited online time to remain in contact, an our each day at best so we make the most of being together.
Life is tough, but we this hour each day, and we value that.
Again, time is against us so we’ll post this along with the address of our website. Again, our deepest gratitude to those who have offered their support. There is good in this world.
http://www.geocities.com/the2lostsouls/
Thursday, 18. May 2006, 15:19:00
We are so grateful for the words of encouragement, we are setting up a website and hope to have a PayPal account very shortly.
We truly are grateful for your kind words
Thursday, 18. May 2006, 11:19:47
When two people meet and fall in love, there is a whole emotional process which takes place. From the heart to the mind, yet meeting someone, that special someone over the internet can be just as real with one exception.
And this is where it is so different; it’s that first touch, the holding of a hand, the wisp of hair you brush from her face. And with it, comes a whole host of emotional responses; but here, online, you don’t get that, but you do get so much more. You get to talk without the awkwardness of that, ‘is my hair all right?’, you can talk with worrying if they noticed you don’t wear the latest fashion, or that really, you don’t believe you are attractive, and this is wonderful, wonderful because you get to know the real person, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, the person your heart leaps for, the person you would die for.
But that first touch; are that first touch. Person to person; human to human. That touch we long for but know is so far away. And as I sit here, I long for that touch, I long for the touch of Gabrielle. The feel of her hair, the touch of her hand in mine, but I know that’s not to be. I know that I will never hold her hand as we walk through the park on a sunny day. I know I won’t be there to wipe a tear from her cheek when she reads this. And I know my heart breaks when I think of her, sitting there, alone. My heart breaks each and every day because I no I will never wipe that tear away.
But then, then my heart leaps for joy because we are talking again. It the time in the day, that time when we can steel an hour or so to chat via this marvellous piece of technology, this wonderful machine that helped us find each other against all the odds. Our hearts are together once more for just a short while, and that is the most wonderful feeling in this world. But we know it’s fleeting, I know that we will never feel of her hair, or the touch of her hand in mine, I know that’s not to be. I know that I will never hold her hand as we walk through the park on a sunny day.
But I can sit here and tell her she is beautiful
But I can sit here and leave her messages to wake up to
But I can sit here and her notes
But I can sit here and tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes
But I can sit here and tell her just how much I love her
But I know,
I know I will never kiss her on the forehead
I know I will never introduce her to family and friends
I know I will never hold her tight when she is upset
I know I will never sit in the park and just talk to her
I know I will never play with her hair
I know I will never look her in the eyes and smile
I know I will never give her piggyback rides
I know she will never fall asleep in my arms
I know I won’t be there to wipe a tear from her cheek when she reads this.
But there is one thing I do know, I know this with all my hear, I will always love her, and always be there for her, be there to love her.
And still my heart breaks each and every day
Friday, 12. May 2006, 10:10:26
Love, two, People, Friends
This is our story, the story of two people lost in this crazy world; a world where no-one would listen, where no-one would care, a world where we were just drowning, drowning in air. But against the odds, we found each other; against all of the odds, two people, not looking, not searching for anyone, not believing there was anyone to find, found each other, we found each other in this crazy mixed up world, against the odds.
But the odds, yes the odds, they are still there, still against us. ‘Why?’ You might ask, ‘you found each other against all the odds.’ Well, 3000 miles, 3000 miles apart and two governments that can only see us as a drain on their resources. Her Government, who tells the world, ‘all people are welcome to our shores!’ all except me that is! And my government, a government who has just given asylum to a group who hi-jacked a passenger jet a few years ago. A government who insists the woman I love must be able to support herself here yet wont let her work until she can prove she can support herself, somewhat of a contradiction.
Two people, two ordinary people who found love 3000 miles apart
If we were rich, or even richer, there wouldn’t be a problem, but we’re not. All the governments see is that we are a drain on their national resources, and what can we say to that; we’re just two ordinary people, who found love 3000 miles apart, two ordinary people who have lived lives full of hurt and full of pain. Two ordinary people who found each other against the odds, two ordinary people who just want to live our ordinary lives in an ordinary town.
But we know, deep down we know in our hearts we may never be together, we may never live ordinary lives, in an ordinary town, because we are not rich. We can’t afford to prove we can live in each others country, we can’t even afford a plane ticket, but we have this. Just this, a cheap computer capturing a few moments each day, a few moments where our hearts join, a few moments when all the years of pain and hurt just disappear. Just a few moments.
We found each other in this crazy mixed up world, a world where no-one would listen, where no-one would care; we are not asking for much out of this life. We just want to spend the rest of it together, that’s all nothing more!
WIDGETIZE